How to understand that you don't need to go on a second date. How to understand that the first date was successful The conversation kept stalling

Olga Kuznetsova

A psychologist and linguist by training, he currently teaches languages. And looking for his soul mate.

I was once in a relationship with a wonderful man and was happy. And then everything collapsed. Not right away, of course, but more on that some other time. Of course, I was worried. And for quite a long time. And then I decided that it was time to create a new relationship. And about a month ago I registered on a dating site.

There was a time when I listened distantly to the endless unsuccessful attempts of my friends to “find something decent there.” They often complained that their first dates with “amazing men” ended up being their last. Therefore, when starting this stage, I tried to foresee, if not everything, then a lot. And to my surprise, everything went well every time!

1. Be real

Remember the advertisement? A girl comes on a date and accidentally hears a young man waiting for her say to someone on the phone: “No, I haven’t found it yet. After all, I’m looking for the real one!” The girl quickly changes her appearance, becomes “real” and makes a wonderful impression on the young man. Who would have thought that everything in life is exactly like this?

From personal experience

Every time I got ready for a meeting, I tried, let’s say, not to get ready. Already on the first date I realized how right I was! I was greeted by a man in a sweater and jeans, slightly immersed in work problems. I would look great if I came in an evening dress or a sexy blouse with a luxurious neckline!

This is surprising, but what I chose from my entire wardrobe was absolutely consistent with the place, time, my interlocutor, and most importantly -. Which significantly influenced the course of the entire meeting, because it allowed us to immediately be on the same page. After all, we both came in what we feel comfortable walking, sitting, and communicating in. And it was so natural! In general, I recommend it.

Although, perhaps, your favorite and most comfortable outfit is just a sexy blouse? Well then, go ahead!

But remember: “take me right now” style war paint and an erotic outfit are more suitable for searching for dubious adventures, rather than for your soulmate.

You may be asking: what about the advice that a woman should be attractive in the first place? Yes that's right. The question is: who do you want to attract?

Your potential husband will most likely be attracted to your femininity and inner beauty, which modern men notice very well at first sight. And attraction at the level of basic instinct will leave your relationship at this level and, most likely, forever.

2. Smile sincerely

Gioconda's smile will not suit us. Sometimes men fall into a strange stupor from such “female tricks” with a claim to the notorious mystery. A Hollywood smile with all 32 teeth won’t suit us either. Psychologists have long explained why.

The only requirement for your smile is that it must be sincere. You may ask, how can you smile at a stranger, and even sincerely? Just think about how sincere you are now! You are sincerely glad that you came to the meeting, and here he is, already waiting for you, and you are really happy to see him, aren’t you?

And I’ll tell you one more secret: there is nothing worse than a polite smile on the first date. Think for yourself, what can she say to your chosen one? Personally, I see something like this interpretation: “Well, it’s very nice, of course, that you came, but I’m so polite, and that’s why I smile at you so politely. I’m sure you already like me, because I’m so polite.”

From personal experience

To successfully use this technique, it is enough to create a special high mood within yourself, which I like to call “quiet delight.” Why quiet? And why delight? On the one hand, you do not gush with uncontrollable emotions, on the other hand, you do not exhaust your interlocutor with disturbing thoughts about your internal troubles. That is, we are looking for a middle ground.

If your delight is quiet, then it can be contained, but it is still there. It inevitably makes itself known from time to time and first of all breaks through in your smile. And your smile is truly joyful and sincere. Because at this moment you are letting your inner sun out.

A sincere smile disarms and puts you at ease in a special way. It creates a space of trust into which your interlocutor finds himself.

Using just this one technique, you will go most of the way towards each other in one date.

3. Keep it simple

Take things lightly. Experience shows that a person who is too fixated on the result has a sharply reduced chance of achieving it. It's inexplicable, but it's a fact. Although, perhaps, it’s all a matter of excessive tension. She doesn't decorate anyone. And our task is to present ourselves in such a way that a person wants to see you again. Or even more than once!

It is also important not to try to show only your best sides. This will allow you to see the different reactions of your potential partner and understand whether he will be able to cope with your small shortcomings in the future.
The surprising thing is that men also react positively to such openness. They also have something they want to hide, they are afraid of spoiling it. Realizing that you allow yourself not to be perfect, they themselves relax a little. And we remember that the main thing is to create an atmosphere of trust and comfort.

From personal experience

Basically, I tried to be the same as in life, to behave as usual, including allowing myself to be imperfect. And this gave us the opportunity to immediately get to a different level of communication than the standard shuffling around with mutual bows.

For example, when I was 15 minutes late, I simply apologized and explained the reason without wringing my hands. And then I was sincerely pleased at the calmness and loyalty of my interlocutor. And she was so happy that he noticed this joy. And she mentally gave herself a plus, seeing how he internally became more dignified from the feeling of his generosity. And then he told me that this happens to him too, and he completely relaxed. By the end of our conversation, we already knew that we were both imperfect. And if you look closely, it is this knowledge that creates a feeling of greater closeness.

Men love girls with whom you can breathe easily, with whom you don’t have to pretend to be anything, watch your every word, gesture, in other words, strain yourself. Don't stress men out on the first date. After all, if they find themselves searching, it means that someone before you has already stressed them out a lot!

4. Don't be afraid to ask

But ask about what is really important or interesting to you. Psychologists say that people love to talk about themselves. And it would be a sin not to take advantage of this! Seeing your genuine interest, the man perks up and becomes calmer.

Plus, while he speaks, you can look into his eyes for a long time, putting into him any feeling you want. Your look can be alluring, thoughtful, mysterious or playful, intriguing, with a sparkle! But the most important thing is that he must be open and friendly. For me personally, the last option was enough.

It is also on the first date that will prepare the ground for your future relationship. Don’t be afraid to discuss the purpose of meeting with your interlocutor, ask him what he expects from communication.

Tell us about yourself too. And here, talk not about what you expect from the person himself or from the relationship in general: “You must be (hereinafter a list of 48 items), and then I’ll marry you!” Talk about what attracts you to the prospect of continuing communication with him. If it's hard to tell a potential partner about it, tell it to yourself. Let a clear picture form in your head. By the way, this will help you conduct the dialogue in the right direction.

From personal experience

Openness and mutual interest allowed us to talk enthusiastically throughout the meeting. No forced pauses, no awkward silences, no need to think hard about what else to ask.

And for difficult cases there is one little secret, which I call the “loop-hook”. Let's say you asked a question and received a detailed answer. And you notice that your interlocutor is feverishly searching in the recesses of his own brain for what to ask you now. Help him out! Start talking about yourself, answering the same question you asked him. He will have time to silently admire you (personally, I always say smiling). And there will be time to figure out what to talk about later.

We really love it when others are interested in us, our lives, our thoughts. Bring this joy to your potential partner!

Especially if you see that your questions do not confuse him and do not make him want to hide somewhere. And at the same time, you can find out for yourself everything that seems important to you.

5. Believe in yourself

This rule should become an axiom for you. Self-love, adequate self-esteem and self-confidence are the main components of your future success. And not just on the first date. These qualities form your inner core of a person who is sustainable in life. And they are the basis of your charisma and attractiveness. If you are the lucky owner of this magnificent combination, feel free to set a date. The date will be successful!

In conclusion, I would like to say: read articles, study trends, ask for advice, look for information. But first of all, listen to yourself! Your heart, your intuition will never let you down.

Be simple, real, sincere, ask, smile, believe in yourself!

Not to be confused with carefully hidden excitement, which is still noticeable. The first date, no matter how you look at it, is stressful for both parties. Even if you are dating a hereditary beauty queen, she is still, at least a little, worried that she will not like you (who knows, maybe your eyesight is bad). Calmness is usually a symptom of indifference. She doesn't care whether you find her attractive with dill stuck between her teeth or not, because from the looks of it, she doesn't plan on seeing you anymore.

2. She rarely looked you in the eye.

Science does not stand still: pundits are mapping the human genome, space liners are plowing the expanses of the Universe. And for women, just like three hundred years ago, the epicenter of coquetry is in their gaze. And the more actively the girl plays and sparkles with her eyes, the better. If she doesn’t do this, moreover, she avoids meeting your gaze all evening, sits staring at her plate, the TV screen at the bar or at the waiter’s elastic butt - this date, mark my words, will be the first and only.

3. The distance between you has not decreased even a centimeter

The more experienced the girl, the more unobtrusively and gracefully she will close the distance: sitting opposite at the table, lean her body forward so that you can examine the contents of her neckline; allegedly accidentally touching your hand; remove non-existent specks of dust from the shoulder, etc. If there is no hint of closing the distance and establishing at least some tactile contact, the matter is definitely rubbish, and you should not deceive yourself into thinking that your companion was simply paralyzed with delight at the sight of your Simpsons tie.

4. She didn't let go of the phone.

Answered calls, sent messages, scrolled through FB. A great reason to tell you, without waiting for the end of a hopeless date: “Boy, another video with a sneezing panda is much more interesting to me than you and your perfectly cut nails.”

5. The conversation kept stalling

The awkward pauses became longer and longer, your jokes became more and more simple, and she didn’t even try to give you a saving grace in the form of some heartbreaking story. It is possible that she is watching with sadistic pleasure your helpless attempts to breathe life into a conversation that has already died thirty minutes ago.

6. She didn't try to find common ground.

The girl’s desire to discover and note similarities, if any, even in the most insignificant and trivial aspects (“Oh, cool, I’m also allergic to broccoli,” “Do you really love Aerosmith?! » ) - nothing more than a “friend or foe” recognition system in action. An interested girl will try her best to make you a little more “her.” And vice versa, an uninterested one will ignore your symmetry of views and tastes, no matter how talentedly you whistle the hit song of her favorite band.

7. She mentioned her exes

The fact that this is a taboo, especially on the first date, is now taught, in my opinion, even in elementary school. A girl who deliberately violates the unspoken correct dating etiquette, apparently, is either not interested in continuing communication, or is not as vacant as you (and, perhaps, herself) think.

8. She refused to continue

No, she doesn’t want to drink coffee somewhere else, or take a walk in the park, or listen again to the exciting story about how you lost the little toe on your right foot. And this, frankly, sucks. This is how humans are designed: if something brings joy, we unconsciously try to prolong the pleasure. When you were given the ethically acceptable 1.5 hours of time and not a minute more, apparently the date was a failure.

9. She had other plans

Moreover, she doesn’t even think about hiding the fact that after your date she will go to a club with colleagues, to a concert with friends, or to a meeting. The verdict is clear: it didn’t catch my attention. And, on the contrary, there is no higher rating for a date when a girl admits that she was going to meet her friend, but, perhaps, will cancel everything. This is where you can give yourself a mental high five.

10. You said goodbye quickly

Yes, it is certainly important how casually you communicated throughout the evening and how many of your jokes she sincerely enjoyed. But even more important is the moment of farewell, which, under positive circumstances, is secretly customary to delay. All these stupid conversations in a taxi, awkward shifting from foot to foot at the entrance, eloquent pauses and glances - from the outside they may look awkward, but in fact this is a good symptom. And on the contrary, if a girl, saying that she is leaving, just takes it and leaves, you should not delude yourself about her.

There is hardly an event in a person's life that can be compared on your first romantic date . Anxious state before, excitement during the meeting and painful thoughts after. Almost every one of us has gone through this.

There is an opinion that a first date simply cannot go perfectly. After all, people know each other little, worry and focus on their own feelings, often not noticing their partner’s reaction. While from this reaction you can most likely understand how successful the date was .

Let's name some signs by which you can determine the success of a first date:

Communication time. If partners communicate long lasting time and at the same time deliberately delay the moment of separation, then this testifies that the meeting was a success. And if one of them begins to get distracted, look at the clock or show noticeable anxiety, you should think about breaking up.
Touching. Light, as if by chance, and at the same time both partners feel quite comfortable, also indicate that the date is going well.
If the partners are suitable for each other, then Communication during a date is easy: Topics for conversation arise by themselves, words for communication are not selected, but are easily found on their own.
A good sign is that both share some plans for the future, dreams. By allowing each other into their personal space, they thereby demonstrate mutual trust.
Views. People who are unpleasant to each other will never make eye contact. And on the contrary, if the two of them feel good and are interested, then they openly look at each other and are afraid to miss any little detail in the image of their partner.
The first date is characterized by slight tension. This is explained by excitement, which should pass after some time. But if throughout the entire meeting a person sits “on pins and needles” and feels uncomfortable, then this is a reason to find out what exactly is going wrong.
The success of the first meeting can be indicated by: how it ended . If both say goodbye warmly and discuss a new date, this means that they are happy with the time spent. And if the meeting ends suddenly because someone remembered the iron not being turned off or the sick grandmother, then this can only mean one thing - the partner is trying to leave as quickly as possible.
An important criterion is an invitation to see you next time. If you were invited to meet again, then you left very pleasant experience .

Complex issues actually always have a simple solution that lies on the surface. For example, you doubt whether to write to a man first or not, coming up with a lot of motivators and excuses. And you just need to be sure of one single point: whether he liked you or not, in order to increase your chances of an answer and a second date. We don’t need fortune telling with cards or coffee grounds; we’d better resort to the help of psychology and find out by what signs we can determine a person’s interest in the first few hours of meeting them.

Sign No. 1: He laughs or at least smiles at your jokes, even those that come out slightly out of place.

Think about how you perceive the humor of your close friends: you laugh sincerely and try to continue their jokes or give your own funny examples to express solidarity. A young man interested in you will do the same, but, most likely, in a more modest manner.

Sign #2: He defends your position in the conversation.

This sign can only be noticed if there is a discussion with at least one other interlocutor. A person interested in you will demonstrate agreement with you in a dispute, because he will want to show solidarity and thus build something in common between you.

Sign #3: He's Genuinely Interested in Your Life

That is, it goes beyond banal survey questions like “Why did you decide to go into marketing?” or “Do you like to run?” and wants to hear your opinion on various topics, find out what you do every day in order to understand what kind of person you are. However, an overly curious person can do this for fun, while an interested person can do this to find more common ground.

Sign #4: He jokes about what kind of couple you two would be.

For example, planning a second date, imagining which of the common hobbies you could take up, or even openly admitting that a match on his part has already occurred, for example, with the phrase “I like girls who are like you...”.

Sign #5: He stares at you for a long time without looking away.

The main sign of love, which also manifests itself in long-term couples. Even if you have seen a person many times already or managed to look at him during the first meeting and you like him very much, it is impossible to deny yourself the pleasure of looking at him again and again. In Russian there is a cute verb for this, “to admire.”

Sign #6: He calls you by your name.

The person you're interested in potentially already likes a lot about you, even if it's not expressed so clearly. It’s easy to catch a lover’s name at first sight: he takes pleasure in saying your name, which means he will do it again and again.

Sign #7: He's acting a little stupid

Here it is important to feel the difference between an exciting and already partly caught in the bait character and a chronic dullard who does not understand what to do on dates with a stranger. Both will give themselves away with an absurd gesture: they will drop something, stumble awkwardly, or fail to notice the transparent glass door on the way out.

Sign #8: He's waiting for your positive feedback.

He shares his achievements, thoughts, and positive emotions not just as a monologue, but in anticipation of your approving comment. In other words, he is not going to demonstrate how much he adores himself, but wants to get at least some proof that you like him. If you are in a company, then every time after a joke or an important statement, the first thing he will do is look at you, because it is your reaction that is important to him.

Sign No. 9: he makes tactile contact

He accidentally or deliberately wants to touch you - take your hand, adjust an earring or bag strap, as if to hug you in a friendly way. Note that if he is bothered by details: the feather on your eyelashes, the collar turned inward, the shape of the rings on your fingers - and he uses this as an excuse to touch you, then here, as they say, “the client is ready” and you can even no doubt.

Sign #10: He Remembers a Surprisingly Lot of Facts About You

This sign works great in the second and subsequent meetings: the interested person always listens to you very carefully and falls in love with the details, and therefore remembers seemingly unimportant things, for example, your tastes in food, your daily routine, your fears and phobias.

By building expectations, determining for himself the necessary level of requirements for a partner, a person strives for love, going through meetings and partings, successful and unsuccessful dates, leaving painful marks on the heart. What do you need to know about this in order to perceive the situation as objectively as possible, without allowing anyone to destroy your own personality?

The dangers of bad dates

The Daily Mail published the results of an online survey conducted with respondents who had experience of failures in dating the opposite sex. Frustrated young people reported a significant deterioration in their health, from increased anxiety levels (25%) to skin problems (6%), manifested in the form of a reddish rash or eczema. 10% of respondents began to experience unregulated overeating, and a third showed signs of real depression.

This is understandable from a medical point of view: stress contributes to the release of testosterone and cortisol. The first affects the functioning of the sebaceous glands, which secrete an increased amount of fat, leading to skin rashes, and cortisol, through the receptors of the hypothalamus, affects a significant increase in appetite. Weakening of the immune system due to stress affects the duration of the disease state.

Severe psychological consequences led to a reluctance to meet again (70%) and disruption of communication with loved ones due to fear of questions and negative assessments of what happened. By refusing further dates, a person deprives himself of a feeling of happiness, a positive outlook on the world, motivation to work on himself and his appearance, which gives a surge of hormones. Is it possible to understand the signs of a bad date in advance in order to avoid serious consequences?

What should you be wary of the day before?

Smart people only go to meetings with partners they know and are confident in. But in the age of the Internet and mobile communications, blind dates are increasingly being practiced among people, so those who are prudent prefer to be a little late and watch the girl or guy from afar in order to avoid unpleasant disappointments. And so that their conscience does not torment them, they call and come up with a good reason for the impossibility of meeting. This is unpleasant, but it hurts the partner’s pride less and does not lead to a senseless waste of time.

The most unsuccessful dates begin with deception: instead of a real photograph, the unlimited possibilities of Photoshop are demonstrated, or even a figurehead. Age, income, profession, marital status are distorted. What does the deceiver count on? The fact that meaningful correspondence revealed a rich inner world, which on the first date will outweigh everything else. Alas, the disappointment from the meeting can be so strong that everything achieved during the preliminary communication will lose its meaning. It is better not to deal with a person who has been caught in a lie.

In addition to deception, you should pay attention to:

• the place and time of the proposed meeting, which clearly informs about the partner’s intentions (you should not create the illusion that a date in someone’s apartment will be exclusively romantic in nature);
• excessive insistence of the partner in any moments (you can always run into a pick-up artist, debater or figurehead who has goals far from love ones);
• partner’s contacts (meeting with a person whose only e-mail is known means exposing yourself to a certain risk).

The importance of the first meeting

An unsuccessful event can program a person for a certain scenario in the future, so if there is a fair amount of doubt, it is better to refuse the meeting. A certain complex can form in both girls and boys. Their failures in the future will be associated with a feeling of fear and anxiety before repeating the opening story. Fear leads to tension and stiffness (presentation of oneself, gestures, posture, facial expressions), which completely deprives one of external sexuality. It either paralyzes mental activity or causes excessive activity, which is also quite bad.

Losers react incorrectly to compliments, perceiving them as flattery: “No, that’s not my hair color, I dyed it”; “Yes, I don’t go to training regularly, you should have seen my friend’s abs on his stomach.” As a result, the girl gets the impression that she is an ordinary gray mouse, and the guy is not seen as having the necessary masculinity and manliness. Which leads to further failures on the love front.

The first date turned out to be the last for Jessica McKenzie

Stars' unsuccessful dates become public knowledge, stories about which can be read on the Internet. Twenty-five-year-old student Jessica McKenzie published on her social network page the details of her meeting with the young talent of the Manchester United club, Adnan Januzaj. A member of the $5 million-a-year Belgian soccer team showed up to the date on foot in a tracksuit. While the girl spent a certain amount on hair, makeup and a glamorous outfit. I went by car to the fast food restaurant Nando's, where the football player treated the girl to cheap chicken burgers.

The finale of the meeting was a room in a three-star hotel, where the guy and his companion watched TV until nine in the evening. After which Adnan asked to be taken home, since he had to get up early for training in the morning. It is obvious to everyone that an angry Jessica made public a piquant story of revenge on a football player who not only did not live up to her hopes, but also left the beginning of the relationship without continuation. Why is this happening? Why does the first meeting become the last?

Unsuccessful dates through the eyes of men: main signs

One can guess what Adnan was guided by when he chose such a plan for the rendezvous. It is likely that this was a test of the sincerity of the girl’s feelings. But one thing should be said with confidence: the spark that should run between people has not been ignited. Foreign studies of the reasons for unsuccessful dates among visitors to dating sites have determined that 64% of respondents see this as the main reason for their failed meetings. And if girls are ready to continue communication, giving men a second chance and finding other advantages in them, then for a man this is the end of the acquaintance. They must desire their partner.

Among the signs of an unsuccessful date, men - listeners of Mayak radio, in a program specifically dedicated to this topic, highlighted those that turned them away from their girlfriends:

• didn’t show up, was significantly late;
• showed up with a friend;
• immediately stipulated that time for the meeting was limited;
• asked for help closing a cash loan;
• persistently asked whether he knew how to operate a chainsaw;
• She was unpleasantly surprised in appearance (she came in a chic floor-length dress, and with unwashed ears);
• I ordered so much at the restaurant that I could barely pay for it;
• had too much alcohol;
• I spent the entire evening talking about my ex.

Obviously, half the reasons would not have been mentioned if the girl really liked her. For men hoping for continuation, unsuccessful dates with women mean a lack of invitation to tea. Or worse, an invitation without development. A girl on the forum described how, after a protracted party, she felt sorry for him and left the guy to spend the night with her. And then she kept texting all the time, fighting off his persistent advances. At the same time, the guy was lying two steps away from her on the floor. The male psyche is not capable of grasping nuances, perceiving signals unambiguously: she left, which means she is waiting for continuation. Nothing hits a man’s self-esteem more than female provocative behavior.

A woman's perspective on the signs of a bad date

Girls, as more sophisticated natures, have their own list of requirements for the opposite sex. The longer it is, the greater the likelihood of disappointment from the meeting. Bad dates through the eyes of women are:

• “Fedot, but not that one” - the wrong type of male appearance, a disapproved style of clothing, an unpresentable appearance (a significant part of smart girls are ready to give an additional chance).
• “He says the wrong thing” - he is rude in speech, allows categorical judgments and aggressive attacks; complains about fate, lack of work, mortgage and business failures; talks only about himself, without ever asking a single question.
• “Does the wrong thing” - argues with the waiter over change, regrets tips, does not pay for the girl; indecently gropes his partner, allowing frivolity and directly offering sex; aggressive with third parties, provokes a scandal.

But the most unsuccessful dates, the stories about which listeners of Mayak radio told, were overshadowed by unpleasant surprises discovered by chance. The guy announces that he forgot his wallet, an unexpectedly met acquaintance “tells” that he has been married for a long time and has children, tattoos with origins from prison are found under his T-shirt.

These meaningful conversations

Dating site respondents ranked psychological incompatibility in 2nd place among the reasons for unsuccessful dates (47%). It manifests itself best during a conversation that creates serious tension. What influences this?

• An awkward silence that is difficult for both parties to overcome.
• Brief answers that leave no chance for developing the topic of conversation.
• The absence of clarifying questions indicating a lack of interest on the part of the partner.
• A blank stare or poor eye contact.
• Difficulties in choosing topics for dialogue.
• An abundance of information that is difficult to cope with.
• Unreasonable distraction by phone or other contacts.
• Phrases indicating the interlocutor’s inattention.
• Memories of exes (16% of respondents consider this a sufficient reason for ending a relationship).
• The partner does not call by name or has confused it altogether.
• Finding reasons to end the dialogue: work, memories of unfinished business, health conditions.

Usually, unsuccessful dates end with a handshake or an awkward hug, no promises to continue the acquaintance, and a request from the girl not to accompany her. The most deadly phrase from a man: “We’ll call you,” which the interested party clutches at like a straw. But this is one of the signs that a second meeting is unlikely to follow.

Star stories

Unforgiven awkwardness

The most successful people known all over the world have had bad dates, which they share in the hope of supporting the unlucky ones. Girl's Life published the story of Justin Bieber, the favorite of millions of girls, who told the world about the fiasco that he suffered in an Italian restaurant during a date. Having knocked over a plate of spaghetti on the girl, Justin could not beg for forgiveness and broke up with his passion.

Missed opportunity

A popular TV presenter, 10 years later, learned about the missed opportunity to win the heart of the golden-haired beauty Nicole Kidman. Having invited her to dinner, he was too nervous to carry on a conversation and turned on a video game. The young woman who really liked him thought that she simply wasn't really interested in Jimmy.

"Dynamo"

Not everyone is ready to describe their worst date. The story of a man known from the TV show “Rules of Renting,” Sergei Stillavin, is a revelation about how he, a real master, was once “pushed” by an ordinary girl. Having bought two bouquets of flowers and hidden them in the trunk of the car, he met his chosen one on the eve of an important event for himself - meeting her mother. The girl said that there were unexpected guests in the house, so the meeting needed to be rescheduled until they left. For four hours the couple drove around the city waiting for the cherished hour, until after the next call the would-be bride revealed that her grandmother had died. Stillavin had to throw away the flowers, which by that time had spread their aroma throughout the entire interior of the car.

Screen Stories

Men's bad dates are best described in the 1970 Soviet film The Seven Brides of Corporal Zbruev, which can be seen as an encyclopedia of an unlucky guy. The viewer watches seven meetings with girls through correspondence of the brave soldier, whose portrait adorned the cover of the magazine “Skillful Warrior”. His dates have everything: deception on the part of a Komsomol functionary who lures a soldier to a youth construction site in Siberia; an oversight that cost him a failed meeting with a girl named Oksana waiting on the platform; interference from third parties in the form of the hostel commandant when communicating with the modest Lyusya from a small weaving town. The most typical stories include two.

“Hello, stork!”

To this song, the main character left yet another would-be newlywed, refusing even a cup of tea. She has everything with her: beauty, romance, decency, thriftiness. Is this not what a former orphan named Konstantin was looking for when he began his journey through girls he knew in absentia? That's the point. But such a rapid development of events, in which communication is based on viewing him through the prism of a potential groom, will scare off any man. Having given a positive assessment on all indicators, the girl “privatized” the gentleman, introducing him to neighbors, making joint plans, raising him like a child. You always want to break out of skillfully created bonds, which is what the main character does.

Alluring beauty

An example of incorrectly built expectations in the head was the meeting of Kostya from Gunyaevo with a famous actress, who also once came to conquer Moscow from the rural outback. Longing for a barefoot rural childhood prompted her to write to a young soldier. There is nothing personal in the letters, no promises. But captivated by the extraordinary beauty, Kostya dreams of a possible fateful meeting, trying to conquer the young beauty. In her eyes, he is an awkward country guy who does not know how to call a taxi in a large metropolis, and cannot even cope with the role of a plumber. A moment later he completely merges for her with the crowd of cadets. The young man traveled thousands of kilometers in search of such alluring but inaccessible beauty.

Stories of ordinary people

Stories about bad dates are very important both for the storytellers themselves and for the listeners or readers. This is a way to cope with stress more easily. It is known that 24% of unhappy people try to lift their mood with alcohol, 13% with shopping, not realizing that analysis of events and an ironic attitude towards what is happening are much stronger medicines. An example is the story of Michelle Thomas (Great Britain).

The girl met a guy whom she charmed during the meeting with his intelligence, character, and manners. The next day she received a letter where he admitted this, expressing his readiness to marry. But on one condition: Michelle needs to lose a few extra pounds. The girl was so offended that she wrote him an open letter in a blog read by thousands of young women afraid to love and accept themselves as they are. With her answer, Michelle started a whole campaign that shook the Internet.

The most unsuccessful dates teach how to get out of difficult situations that anyone can find themselves in:

• the guy came on a date with his mother, citing the fact that he would not waste time on someone his mother would not like;
• the next morning the girl pleases the guy with the results of the test with two stripes;
• leaving the restroom in the cafe, the lady changed the table and sat down with strangers;
• When he saw his companion without makeup in the morning, the guy was horrified.

Thousands of stories teach the main thing: sometimes parting with a partner is a blessing, giving hope to meet your soul mate faster, approaching her through a deep understanding of what is happening. And the understanding that other people's tastes should not be another person's problem.