Causes of age-related fears in children. Fears in children: causes and methods of overcoming. Where do children's fears come from?

Introduction

In a situation of social instability, the modern child is faced with many unfavorable factors that can not only slow down the development of the individual’s potential, but also reverse the process of its development. Therefore, much attention is paid to the problem of fear in the works of domestic psychologists and psychotherapists, who note an increase in the number of children with a variety of fears, increased excitability and anxiety.

Children's fears are, to one degree or another, determined by age-related characteristics and are temporary. However, those childhood fears that persist for a long time and are difficult for the child to experience indicate the child’s nervous weakness, incorrect parental behavior, conflicting relationships in the family, and in general are a sign of trouble. Most of the reasons, as psychologists note, lie in the area of ​​family relationships, such as connivance, inconsistency in upbringing, a negative or too demanding attitude towards the child, which creates anxiety in him and then forms hostility towards the world.

The child’s psyche is characterized by heightened susceptibility, vulnerability, and inability to withstand adverse influences. Neurotic fears appear as a result of prolonged and insoluble experiences or acute mental shocks, often against the background of painful overstrain of nervous processes. Therefore, neurotic fears require special attention from psychologists, teachers and parents, since in the presence of such fears the child becomes constrained and tense. His behavior is characterized by passivity, and affective isolation develops. In this regard, the issue of early diagnosis of neurotic fears arises.

Recently, issues of diagnosing and correcting fears have become important due to their fairly wide distribution among children. In connection with the above, there is an urgent need for an integrated approach to solving the problem of correcting children's fears, in particular, involving the family. This work can be expressed both in familiarizing parents with the results of the study in an acceptable form, and in sending parents for consultation with a specialist on family issues. This approach can influence not only the external aspects of the manifestation of fears, but also the circumstances that give rise to it.

Fears and emotional disturbances can be corrected and disappear without consequences in children under ten years of age. Therefore, it is extremely important to contact a specialist in a timely manner and take measures to overcome the child’s phobias. In this regard, the most relevant task for practical psychology and pedagogy is to find the most effective ways to identify and overcome a child’s mental ill-being.

Problem: The problem is not so much in identifying fears in children,

how much there is in choosing complex, individual methods

corrections.

Object of study: children's fears as psychological

Pedagogical phenomenon.

Subject of study: children's fears and ways to correct them.

Purpose of the study: identify types of children's fears and determine ways to correct them in preschool age.

Tasks: 1. Analyze the works of domestic and foreign scientists on the problem of fears.

2. Study the psychological reasons for the formation of children's fears.

3. Consider the influence of fear and anxiety on the developing personality of the child.

4. Identify the nature of children's fears and ways to correct them in preschool age.

5.Develop a model of correctional classes to overcome fears in preschoolers.

Research methods

1.Analysis of scientific and methodological literature.

2. Questionnaire.

3. Conversations with teachers and parents.

Chapter 1. Problems of fears

1.1. Causes of children's fears

Psychologists of the 20th century saw the cause of anxiety in the development of civilization and the huge flow of information that falls like an avalanche on people. Modern psychology views anxiety as a social phenomenon. Scientist K. Izard explains the difference between the terms “fear” and “anxiety” in this way: anxiety is a combination of certain emotions, and fear is only one of them. Russian psychologist A.I. Zakharov believes that fear is one of the fundamental human emotions that arises in response to a threatening stimulus.

A.I. Zakharov notes that fear can develop in a person at any age: children from 1 to 3 years old often have night fears; in the 2nd year of life, fear of unexpected sounds, fear of loneliness, fear of pain (and associated fear among health care workers). At 3-5 years old, children are characterized by fears of loneliness, darkness and confined spaces. From 5 to 7 years old, fear of death becomes the dominant factor. From 7 to 11 years old, children are most afraid of “not being someone who is well spoken of, respected, appreciated and understood.” Every child has certain fears. However, if there are a lot of them, then we can talk about manifestations of anxiety in the child’s character. To date, a definite point of view on the causes of anxiety has not yet been developed.

An objective approach to considering the emotion of fear requires pointing out that, despite its negative connotation, fear performs various functions in a person’s life. Throughout human history, fear has accompanied people, expressed in fear of darkness, fire, and natural phenomena. Fear mobilized the scientific and creative potential of people to fight the elements. Fear played and continues to play a protective role, allowing us to avoid encountering danger. Fear also acts as a unique means of understanding the realities of the world around us, leading to a more critical and selective attitude towards the phenomena of life. Therefore, according to A.I. Zakharov, fear can be considered as a natural accompaniment of human development.

In its most general form, fear is conventionally classified into situational (arising in unusual situations) and personality-based (predetermined by a person’s character by anxious suspiciousness). Fear can be real and imaginary, acute and chronic. It is also customary to distinguish age-related fears, the appearance of which most often coincides with certain changes in the child’s life; in other words, age-related fears are a reflection of the child’s personal development. Fears can be roughly divided into situational and personality-based. Situational fear occurs in an unusual, extremely dangerous or shocking environment for the child. Personally determined fear is predetermined by a person’s character, for example, his tendency to experience anxiety, and can appear in a new environment or during contacts with unfamiliar people. Both fear and anxiety have a common emotional component in the form of feelings of excitement and anxiety, that is, they reflect the perception of a threat or lack of a sense of security. The age periodization of the formation of feelings and the appearance of fears in children is described by T.A. Danilina.

Fear (from the Greek fear) is a strong and unfounded fear of something - open space (for example, fear of squares, parks or large stores), closely confined space, heights, harmless animals (with zoophobia) or some kind of fear. or an object (usually living) that does not cause excessive fear in other people.

Fears arise as a result of mental illness, neuroses, life shocks, physical or mental fatigue, after traumatic stress. They are more common in people with a weak will, prone to obsessive emotional states, thoughts, and memories. Some phobias occur in mentally healthy people, for example, fear of the dark, fear of water, heights, the appearance of certain animals, etc., although they may not contain a real threat.

The primary formation of states with obsessive fear occurs under conditions of a person suddenly experiencing a negative emotional reaction (fear, anxiety, extreme puzzlement, etc.).

There are many phobias (anxieties), fears (phobias, simple phobias) are, as it were, an integral part of the personality of an anxious-suspicious structure and represent a fear of any objects, animals, insects, for example: agoraphobia - fear of visible space (fear of walking across a bridge, cross the road, etc.); claustrophobia - fear of enclosed spaces (it is scary to be in a closed room, in a museum or even a theater); acrophobia - fear of heights (fear of flying on an airplane, walking across a high bridge, going to a window, standing on the balcony of the top floor of a high-rise building: it seems that the height “beckons”, and a person involuntarily moves towards the edge, although he does not take a single step); aichmophobia - fear of sharp objects, arachnophobia - fear of spiders, herpetophobia - fear of snakes, glenophobia - fear of a doll's gaze, or special situations: anthropophobia - fear of people, crowds, homicidophobia - fear of committing murder, dentophobia - fear of dental intervention, dermatophobia - fear of getting skin diseases illness, maniophobia - fear of madness, mysophobia - fear of pollution, monophobia - fear of loneliness, nosophobia - fear of injury, incurable disease, infection, oxyphobia - fear of sharp objects, pettophobia - fear of society, sitophobia - fear of eating, scoptophobia - fear of appearing funny, to attract attention, suicidophobia - fear of committing suicide, thanatophobia - fear of sudden death, taphephobia - fear of being buried alive, phobophobia - fear of fear, ereitophobia - fear of blushing, and pantophobia - all-encompassing obsessive fear.

Some of them, such as agoraphobia, are separated into separate diagnostic categories, while others are combined into a group of simple phobias. The diagnosis of simple phobia is usually made after excluding agoraphobia and social phobia. A simple phobia, as a rule, is not accompanied by a vegetative complex, although suddenly finding yourself in a phobic situation can provoke a panic attack. Often people prone to phobias recognize the meaninglessness of their fears, but cannot cope with them.

Psychiatrists clearly distinguished between anxiety and fear back in the 19th century. Fear always has a reason. The threat disappeared - the fear disappeared. The anxiety has no apparent basis. Fear heightens feelings, mobilizes strength and motivates action. Anxiety paralyzes the will, torments, depresses, causes mental and physical suffering, and can lead to illness. This means that anxiety is a painful mental state, which can only be gotten rid of with the help of a psychologist, neuropsychiatrist, or psychiatrist.

American psychiatrist Harry Stack Sullivan believed that the psyche of any person can be understood only by unraveling the tangle of relationships in which he is with other people and in which his individuality is clearly manifested. This is the relationship that arises between mother and child. Sullivan called them empathy, i.e. with empathy. If a child grows up fearful, then something is wrong in his relationship with his mother. It's not just a matter of lack of attention and love. If the mother is fearful, the child also becomes fearful. This occurs so often that a hypothesis has arisen: fearfulness is inherited. But still, many psychotherapists are sure that this is the result of upbringing in infancy and early age.

Domestic psychologists L.S. Vygotsky, A.N. Leontyev, A.V. Zaporozhets and others and American scientists Alfred Adler, Harry Stack Sullivan and others argue that in the early years the satisfaction of the vital, i.e., is of particular importance. vital needs such as food, drink, sleep, personal safety. When these needs are fully satisfied, social needs arise: communication with an adult, his affection, love, bringing information about the world around him - everything that contributes to the development of a person as an individual.

Scientists believe that anxiety, skillfully overcome by a person, without taking the form of a disease, is necessary. The outstanding German psychiatrist Baron Victor Emil von Gebsattel wrote: “Undoubtedly, it is worth striving for a life without fear, but it is not at all obvious that it is worth striving for a life from which anxiety would be expelled... The arousal of anxiety and the associated development of the ability to sympathy and mutual understanding can become a vital task for a person...”

In our culture, it has developed that we often evaluate various emotions. Anger, fear, sadness are bad, and we must strive to protect the child from these experiences. It turns out to be a kind of model of upbringing when a child grows up under a “hood” without learning to accept the reality of our world in minimal doses. And by its nature, any emotion can be neither bad nor good. It is just an evaluative reflection of the situation that arises at the moment, and is associated with the possibility or impossibility of satisfying the needs that arise in this situation. It is important to be able to see what is behind this or that emotion, and in relation to the emotion of fear - not only what the child is afraid of, but also what is behind this fear, what the child actually lacks. Children are naturally afraid. Children's fears are characteristic of a certain age and level of mental development. For a healthy, normally developing baby, fright and fear are a natural reaction to learning about the world around them, i.e. Each age has “its own” fears, which, in the case of normal development, disappear over time. The appearance of certain fears coincides temporally with a leap in the child’s psychomotor development; for example, with the beginning of independent walking and gaining a greater “degree of freedom” in the exploration of space, or when children begin to recognize their loved ones, the appearance of a stranger, an unfamiliar face, can cause fear in them. Children's fears in the case of normal development are an important link in the regulation of a child's behavior and have a positive adaptive meaning [10, p.76].

Children's fears are different in nature: there are protective (protective), normative (age-related) and neurotic fears. Security- these are those with the help of which we recognize dangers and avoid threats to our lives. Even newborns have a self-preservation instinct; for example, when a large object approaches, the baby throws back its head and raises its arms. If the child is not afraid of anything at all, this is also a serious cause for concern. Children's fears, which are called normative or age-related, are experienced by almost all children at a certain age, and this is normal, and even necessary for the overall development of the child, because by overcoming them, the child becomes stronger, more mature emotionally and personally. The main thing you need to know is that in children, fears accompany a certain age period.

Up to a year, fears are expressed in anxiety at loud sounds, and are also associated with the absence of the mother or her mood. The main need for a child of this age is the need for safety. And depending on how the mother satisfies her, the child will develop an important quality - a general sense of trust. An infant with a basic sense of "inner certainty" perceives the social world as a safe, stable place and people as caring and reliable. How this growing person perceives the world depends on the quality of maternal care he receives. The feeling of mistrust and, as a result, increased anxiety in front of strangers and new things can intensify when the child ceases to be the main center of attention for the mother; when she returns to those activities that she left during pregnancy, if she behaves distantly, coldly or irritably with the child.

At the age of 1-3 years, the child begins to need to separate from his parents. This is important for him to feel like a separate person, important for acquiring internal autonomy. It is at this age that children develop a fear of the dark. Fear of the dark does not necessarily appear as a result of some kind of upbringing mistakes. At this age, night terrors are also possible, signifying the child’s distress and lack of confidence in the strength and inviolability of the environment. The main character in dreams is most often a wolf. Children often dream of a wolf because they are afraid of punishment from their parents, especially their father. In addition, the wolf is associated with physical pain, which occurs when an imaginary bite from sharp teeth occurs. Which is very significant, given the characteristic fear of injections and pain associated with the painful experience of vaccination among preschool children.

Fears at the age of 3-5 years. At the previous stage of development, the child was formed along the path of separation from his parents. Having discovered his “I” at one moment, he has a new need - to somehow manifest this “I”. Most often, fears that arise at this age are associated with the inability to fully satisfy this need. If parents are not responsive enough to the child’s initiative and punish him excessively for his activity, then the unexpressed energy turns against the child. At this age, children often experience the so-called “triad of fears”: loneliness, darkness and confined space. Children often delay the time of falling asleep, are afraid to remain in the dark, endowing it with formidable monsters and monsters. If such fears manifest themselves acutely in a child, first of all it is necessary to pay attention to the emotional component of the relationship with the child. Are there excessive demands and prohibitions on the child, emotional coldness or detachment in the relationship? Fears associated with a lack of parental warmth can also include fear of punishment, fear of various fairy-tale characters (Wolf, Baba Yaga, Barmaley, etc.). Closer to the age of four, Baba Yaga begins to appear in nightmares, being a projection of the child’s problems in relationships with a strict mother, often threatening punishment. The horror or suffering endured and unconscious by the child, who cannot express himself during the day, turns the night into a struggle with imaginary monsters.

At 5-7 years old. At this age, the experience of interpersonal relationships is formed, based on the child’s ability to accept and play roles, anticipate and plan the actions of another, understand his feelings and intentions. Relationships with people become more flexible, versatile and at the same time purposeful. A system of values ​​(value orientations), a sense of home, kinship, and an understanding of the importance of family for procreation are formed. At this age, fear of separation from parents and the emergence of fear of death are characteristic. At six years old, boys and girls may be afraid of nightmares and death in their sleep. Often, it is in a dream that children of this age can foresee separation from their parents, due to the fear of their disappearance and loss. In older preschool age, children are especially sensitive to the threat of illness, misfortune, and death. A.I. Zakharov believes that the fear of death begins to appear at this age, because it is during these years that children begin to realize that human life is not endless.

Age-related manifestations of obsession, anxiety and suspiciousness can go away in children if the parents are calm, self-confident, and also if they accept and support their child, taking into account his individual characteristics. The listed fears are temporary and transitory; there is no need to fight them due to age; it is important to support the child by accepting this feature of his mental development.

There are other fears - neurotic ones, which have the most significant differences from age-related ones. Such fears not only prevent the child from living, “corroding” his soul, but also cause characteristic neurotic disorders: enuresis, tics, obsessive movements, stuttering, poor sleep, irritability, aggressiveness, poor contact with others. Neurotic fears are consolidated as a result of prolonged and insoluble experiences or acute mental shocks, often against the background of an already painful overstrain of nervous processes. The presence of numerous fears in neuroses is a sign of insufficient self-confidence and lack of adequate psychological protection, which, taken together, adversely affects the child’s well-being, creating even greater difficulties in his communication with peers. All these fears are pronounced and stable, and not just age-related. Of course, in such cases, the help of a specialist is required, and there is no talk of the positive meaning of the emotions experienced by the child.

Thus, almost all children are exposed to age-related fears. They are most pronounced in emotionally sensitive children who have emotional difficulties in relationships with parents, whose self-image is distorted by emotional rejection in the family or conflicts, and who cannot rely on adults as a source of security, authority and love. In order to cope with children's age-related fears, it is necessary to develop a unified plan of action that includes comfort, support and a willingness to allow the child to cope with some of them on their own. The degree of trust determines the continued presence or absence of fears in the child’s life. It is important to understand where fear comes from, what the source is. It is very important to ensure a calm environment in the family. Eliminate all conflicts and quarrels, protect the child from stress. Read to him those books that do not frighten the child, do not allow him to watch films that can provoke an attack of fear. And try to talk to your baby as much as possible about what is bothering him. It should become a rule for parents that children's fears are another signal to be even more caring with them, to protect their nervous system, this is a call for help, because... Various adult neurotic manifestations sometimes arise from childhood fears that did not go away in time.

Fears in children are a feeling of anxiety and restlessness that develop in response to an imaginary or real threat to life. Children's fears usually arise due to the psychological influence of adults (parents) or self-hypnosis. If such a problem has arisen, this is a reason for parents to think about it. It should not be ignored, since neurotic manifestations in adults are often a continuation of childhood fears.

Regardless of the cause and manifestations of fear, adults should take all phobias seriously and actively participate in overcoming fears in children. It should be noted that children live in their own world, where fairy-tale characters are real, and inanimate objects can come to life. Therefore, children often see a threat where there is actually none.

Causes of fears in children

Numerous studies suggest that most adult fears were formed in childhood. The causes of fear in children include the following factors:

— experienced traumatic situations and fear of their repetition (bee sting, dog bite, fall from a height);

- frequent reminders of the occurrence of expected unpleasant situations;

- accompanying children’s independent actions with an emotionally charged warning about possible danger along the way;

- permanent bans;

- conversations with children about negative events (accidents, murders, deaths, fires);

- family conflicts, the source of which are children;

- disagreements with peers;

- intimidation by parents with non-existent fairy-tale characters (goblin, famously one-eyed, Baba Yaga, merman).

All these fears relate to age-related characteristics and they appear in emotionally sensitive individuals.

Fears in children of preschool and primary school age are manifestations of nervous diseases - neuroses. They are also caused by prerequisites or indirect causes that create the conditions for the emergence of childhood phobias. These include the mother’s incorrect behavior, taking on the role of family leader, which provokes anxiety in the baby. The mother’s desire to go to work early without completing maternity leave also contributes to anxiety, worry, and fear, since there is an acute lack of communication.

The most susceptible to unreasonable fears are children from single-parent families, loved ones and only children who have become the center of their parents’ worries and concerns. The age of the parents plays an important role when fears arise: the older the parents, the more anxious and restless the children are. The appearance of phobias is also influenced by the severe stress or conflict the pregnant mother has previously suffered.

Fears in preschool children

Children in preschool age often come up with the subject of fear on their own. Many in childhood were afraid of the dark, where ordinary objects easily became menacing monsters in the imagination, but not everyone carried these phobias into adulthood, since all children react differently to their own fantasies. Some quickly forget about them, while others develop nervous disorders.

Fears in preschool children are often provoked by adults who meaningfully warned them in advance about the danger. Parents, educators, grandmothers sometimes remind the child too emotionally of the consequences of a situation or any action, which provokes the emergence of fears. Menacingly spoken phrases: “Don’t touch - you’ll get burned!”, or “Don’t climb - you’ll fall!” - become a source of fear for children. Children involuntarily remember the second part of what is said in a sentence, and constantly feel anxious. The fear reaction can take hold and further spread to all typical similar situations.

The fears of young children can be triggered by a situation or a specific incident that happened, for example, in a store, on the street. The fear of repeating an unpleasant incident is often easy to correct. It all depends on the child’s temperament and his individual traits: anxiety, suspiciousness, uncertainty. The environment plays an important role in the emergence of fears in preschool children. Conflicts in the family: quarrels between parents make the child feel guilty about what happened.

What to do if a child has fear? Fears in preschool children need correction, since fear instilled in childhood can haunt a person throughout his life.

Fears in children of primary school age

One of the reasons for fear of primary school age is the difficulty of communicating with peers in a group. If difficulties arise in a team where the child is offended, he may refuse to attend school, a club, or will show nervousness, tearfulness, uncertainty, and panic. This often happens due to intimidation from older peers. In this situation, it is necessary to deal with it together with teachers and a psychologist and not delay the resolution of the conflict.

Fears in children of primary school age may arise due to mental disorders. For example, fears may be a symptom of neurosis that requires mandatory treatment. Neurosis can manifest itself through fears that are not typical for this age, and can also be caused by severe attacks of phobias for various reasons.

Fears in children 5 years old

In first place among the reasons causing fear in children aged 5 years is unfavorable relationships with parents, especially with the mother.

Fears in 5-year-old children are also caused by the peculiarities of interaction between the child and the teacher: inconsistency of assessments and requirements, the predominance of authoritarian communication. In both cases, children are in a state of tension and constraint due to the fear of not fulfilling the demands of adults, as well as the fear of overstepping rigid boundaries. All disciplinary measures taken by such teachers often come down to shouting, reprimanding, negative evaluations, punishments, and prohibitions.

An inconsistent teacher provokes fear by the inability to predict the child’s own behavior. Constant changes in the teacher's demands, emotional lability and the direct dependence of behavior on his mood lead to confusion in children and do not make it possible to understand what the right thing to do is.

In 5-year-old children with different levels of imagination development, differences in fears are noted: with a low level of imagination, fears of a realistic nature predominate; with a high level of imagination, fantasy fears predominate.

Night terrors in children

Partial awakening of the baby at night, which is expressed in screaming, panic, tears, walking around the room, throwing around the crib, muttering, is classified as night terrors. This behavior is usually observed during the first 2 hours of sleep. These episodes are harmless and often end in deep sleep. They are considered part of natural maturation up to 6 years of age.

Night fears in children are marked by the following symptoms: the baby is scared, it is impossible to wake him up, calm him down, his eyes are wide open, but he does not see anyone nearby, all objects, as well as people in the room, appear frightening; a nighttime episode of fear usually lasts 10 - 30 minutes; upon awakening, the baby does not remember anything that happened to him.

Night terrors in children treatment

Help your baby return to normal sleep without trying to wake him as he sleeps soundly during a night terror episode. Dim the lights in the room, talk to the baby in a soothing, calm voice. Take him in your arms, do not scream or shake him, as this will only make the situation worse.

Take all measures to prevent all kinds of damage, since during the period of night terrors the baby may get out of the crib and run or go somewhere. The baby must be very gently returned back to his crib. It is very important to prevent the occurrence of night terrors than to deal with them later.

The likelihood of developing night terrors is higher if the baby is overtired. Make sure that your child adheres to a daily routine and is sure to sleep during the day. Keep track of the time frame in which night terrors appear. During the week, try to wake up 15 minutes before your expected night terrors, trying to keep you from falling asleep for up to 5 minutes.

If night terrors still recur, then repeat these steps for another week. Be sure to seek help from specialists if episodes of night fears last more than 30 minutes, if episodes are observed in the second half of the night, if the baby is very restless and says something incoherently, if the baby does something dangerous for his life, if daytime fears are noted , and also if the cause of night fears is a stressful situation.

Nightmares are scary dreams that cause the baby to wake up and be afraid to go back to sleep. Scary dreams are normal for all ages after 6 months. They are often determined by the child's developmental stages. Children 2-3 years old dream that they are alone, children 4-6 years old dream about monsters, as well as darkness, and the nightmares themselves often occur during the third phase of sleep. There is no specific reason for the occurrence of nightmares, but sometimes terrible dreams are provoked by what the baby heard or saw, and this greatly upset him.

Nightmares in children are treated with good fairy tales with a good ending; soft, favorite toy; games with a flashlight, eliminating night fears; games that imitate the actions of animals (the mouse hides under the blanket); drawings depicting fear - the monster and its destruction; with the exception of watching scary movies and cartoons, with the door open to the baby’s bedroom. Help your baby tell you about his nightly dream, and he will definitely feel better. Never scare him with fairy-tale characters. If your nightmares become more frequent, be sure to consult a doctor.

Panic fears in children

The development of panic fear occurs spontaneously, but in the future this state is often associated with specific situations or environments. Often, panic fears arise against a background of misunderstanding and ridicule when children are at school. This manifests itself in isolation and inability to establish contacts with classmates. Worsened relationships with others significantly influence the decline in academic performance. If concern is detected, it is necessary to talk and find out the reason, since the condition may worsen if the child tries hard to hide his condition or hide his emotions.

Panic fears in children are accompanied by various vegetative symptoms and are caused by stress or provoking factors. This condition is marked by vulnerability, insecurity, and muscle tension, so the support of parents and loved ones is important. To relieve such symptoms, psychologists advise choosing an interesting hobby and staying nearby as much as possible. Panic fears in children may be caused by the presence of other anxiety disorders (imminent separation from loved ones, etc.).

Fear of the dark in children

Often, the fear of the dark is provoked by parents themselves, adults or someone else, when they jump out of the darkness and scream in a scary voice or talk about ghosts in the dark.

The fear of the dark in children is eliminated by a kind of “hardening” with darkness, when they gradually increase the time spent in a dark room or sit with a flashlight, showing and explaining that there is nothing in the room except objects. But it’s definitely better to turn on the light for the baby, and let him calmly see that nothing in the room has changed and wait until he grows up.

The most reasonable way to quickly rid a child of the fear of the dark is to always leave the light on, since in the dark he feels defenseless and feels danger around him due to lack of vision. And the wild imagination threateningly draws in evil spirits and night monsters. A switched-on night light will not be able to remove the mechanisms that provoke the fear of the dark; it will only push the problem aside. There is a possibility that over time the baby will acquire new phobias and will sleep in the light all his life. Most likely, your baby is still afraid to be left alone at home, perceiving it as a threat to his life.

How to help a child overcome fears? Nurture in your child the ability to sympathize, have compassion, and empathize. This will help push out the fear so that it will no longer bother you.

Fear of death in children

This phobia has an adverse effect on the child’s psyche, so refrain from phrases like: “If you don’t listen, I’ll get sick and die.” Prevent children from attending funerals until they are 10 years old if possible. But when talking, periodically mention deceased relatives, this way you will understand that after death a person lives in the hearts of people. Thoughts about death are noted at the core of most childhood phobias. These fears are manifested either openly by statements about the fear of dying, or hidden - in the form of a fear of getting sick, fear of heights, sharp objects, darkness, loneliness, and so on.

The fear of the death of parents is the fear of being deprived of parental support, love, and care. Somatic diseases that threaten or weaken the health of children with phobias only aggravate the neurotic state, especially when there is a danger to health and life. Adolescents have obsessive fears of contracting a fatal disease, fears of the death of loved ones, fear of choking while eating, etc.

Fear of water in children

There are often two types of fears of water. The first is the fear of washing in the shower or bath. This fear arises from the beginning of learning to bathe every day, but it happens that a baby who had been bathing happily before suddenly stops loving this activity: he cries when the need to take a bath is mentioned. Children have the hardest time washing their hair (four out of five children do not like this procedure).

The second type of fear of water is fear of bodies of water (lakes, sea, wide river). Kids can get confused by the abundance of sand and water, big waves, as well as a large number of people, the squealing and noise of children. For kids, this can serve as an alarm signal.

Young children's fear of water gradually disappears as they grow older. Children are often afraid not of drowning, but of certain properties of water (waves, current strength, temperature).

How to overcome your fear of water? It is important for parents to figure out what exactly the baby is afraid of, at the same time restrain their irritation, be patient and not use offensive words in front of the child (slob, coward, dirty). Do not try to forcefully dip your baby into the river, or deliberately force him to stand in the shower, as this will only aggravate the situation and deepen fear. You definitely should not give up washing your hair, as well as other hygiene procedures, but this must be done with minimal trauma. To do this, maintain a comfortable temperature regime (water temperature 37-40 degrees), a good “tearless” shampoo. For bathing, let the child select toys himself, offer splash toys, let him buy a doll, wash her hair, wash toy cars. Invite your child to water the flowers. Such simple actions will help children get comfortable and gradually get used to the water, without being afraid of it.

Treatment of fears in children

When faced with the fears of children, it is necessary to treat their experiences with understanding. Under no circumstances should you laugh at a child’s fears or shame them for it. This will only make the situation worse.

How to rid a child of fears? You can play special games where the child can face his fear. Draw with your child, inviting him to depict his fear as he sees it. Let the adult, in turn, select actions that will help overcome the depicted fear. For example, it will be a drawing of another creature, even stronger, defeating the baby’s drawn fear. Model the fear out of plasticine, and then crumple the figure together, this way the child will deal with his fear.

Correction of fears in children is very successfully achieved through drawing. Drawing helps children relieve their negative emotions. In the children’s drawings you can see their character traits, their hobbies, interests, experiences, fears, panic fears. Thanks to this, the method of correcting fears in children using drawing tests is the most effective. By graphically depicting an object that causes fear, anxiety and anxiety associated with the expectation of something terrible are reduced.

Correction of fears in children is carried out only in the presence of an adult, preferably a loved one, whom the child trusts and, if necessary, will receive support from him. The duration of the drawing lesson is up to 25 minutes. The child is asked to draw one or more fears. The atmosphere in which the child works is important: support, approval, attitude to work. Before being asked to draw fear, the child draws on a neutral topic - a favorite animal, my family. Based on the content of the last picture, the psychological climate in the family is determined. If the child depicts himself next to his parents in the center, then the cause of fears is not intra-family conflicts. If depicted away from the parents, it means there is tension in family relationships.

Next, we gradually move on to the topic of fears and draw them together with the baby. The themes of the main drawings can be: “A terrible dream”, “This is what I’m afraid of.” Before you start drawing, talk to your child and make a list of his strong fears. For example, Baba Yaga, death, spider, bear, water, doctor. After this, ask the child to draw scary phenomena or objects. If difficulties arise and do not know how to portray fear, an adult can tell the child in general terms how to do this. Drawing on the theme of death should be avoided, since it is difficult to understand and depict. If children do not want to draw their fears, then most likely they deny them, which will affect their ability to overcome them.

Analysis of drawings includes: studying the color of drawings (black, gray - the child’s depressed state; analysis of images of frightening phenomena and objects, which can be used to indicate that a phobia has been overcome). Discuss with your child what he drew. During the analysis-conversation with the child, the adult needs to express his approval. Let your child know that you are proud of him for overcoming his fear. It’s good when kids collectively discuss the drawings. In this case, the effect of imitation will allow each child to quickly overcome their fears.

Correction of fears in children is further addressed by presenting fears in a positive light. The adult shows the child the drawing and describes its characters in a humorous tone. Then he always asks: “Is the child scared?” If there is no longer fear, you need to praise the baby. This allows you to believe in yourself and feel self-esteem. Regardless of the result, praise the child, saying that he did an excellent job. Even if the phobia remains intact, it will significantly weaken because the child will feel supported.

It is very important to consolidate the results of such drawing. The theme of the final drawing could be “Who I want to become.” This completion brings positivity and allows the child to cope with internal problems. The child feels confident and independent. In the drawing “Who I Want to Become,” he depicts his future, where there is no room for fear. We consolidate our success with the game “Tell the best fairy tale.”

Hello! My daughter is 7 years old and finished 1st grade. She is impressionable and emotional by nature. During the summer holidays, I became interested in the game Minecraft and spent some time watching videos for this game (uncontrollably...), some of which were accompanied by comments from the authors with obscene language. The child complains that she involuntarily thinks about the obscene words she heard, cannot forget them, says that she is ashamed, but cannot stop, worries. Now she no longer plays, does not look, we are trying to calm her down. distract her, but she still remembers it every day and worries.

• Maybe he can try to get him into reading, help him find interesting literature according to his age, so that it really draws him in, now there are so many interesting and colorful stories. If you are very worried and nervous, you can also give vitamins to the Baby Bear Formula Calm, the composition is natural on the herbs mint, lemon balm, glycine and magnesium, it definitely won’t harm, and it will certainly relieve anxiety and restlessness.

Hello. My granddaughter will soon be 6 years old. The main existing psychological problem in a child is the fear of loud and sharp and other specific sounds - she used to be afraid of the noise of a refrigerator passing outside the window of a vehicle without a muffler, it seemed to her that the car would come to us on the fourth floor, now we are still afraid of all the planes flying by with the noise, helicopters, we get very tense when car alarms go off, the sound of thunder causes panic to the point of tears, even hugging doesn’t help, hence we are afraid of dark clouds that are a harbinger of a thunderstorm, if someone nearby in the house knocks during repairs we also get tense, we are afraid of the sound of a bell when we pass by the temple through the park, we are afraid of the noise of the leaves of tall trees from the wind in the park... other fears: recently I was afraid of a sailboat in the distance, for no apparent reason, I am afraid that it will come closer... we are definitely afraid of water - I was the only one who rode in the pool, immersed in the water until belts are a panic horror, washing your hair is a problem - fear of choking... with all this, the child is inquisitive, thanks to classes from an early age he already reads a little, writes, counts, knows the map, planets, animals, a little plants, that is, as speech therapists, neurologists say, the psychiatrist is an adequate child...very sociable, with everyone if she wants on the street, on the tram she greets with a smile - children, adults - doesn’t understand if people don’t react... what to do with fears... the children are “kind” people already their own age in her kindergarten they are scared by zombies, which we never frightened her with, never showed her - just a threatening pose of another child - and then whatever you call it - zombies, whatever... and then at school they will start laughing... there are so many fears that we don’t know where to start... By the way, during the perinatal period the mother was very nervous about the child’s father, she even thought about an abortion, probably tried to provoke a miscarriage, she had very painful procedures from fear of which the mother was literally shaking... in short, the child suffered a lot, be healthy... in infancy the baby started vomiting several times, although with age she even tried to pretend on this topic... until she learned to distinguish sounds, she calmly sat in the next room and played... and also, in my opinion, judging by the diseases of adults, there is a tendency to neuroses due to autonomic disorders of the nervous system, in particular, to panic fears... if I may say so, the puzzle is complete... I don’t know what to do with this, there is little time before school... only a year... I can only protect and love... pills they don’t help... but the situation in the family is not easy, the mother is a single mother, like I was, other adults - difficult people - can be offended by the child in a way that is not childish...

• Hello, Nelya. A practical child psychologist will be able to help your granddaughter. The psychologist will conduct psychodiagnostics and, based on it, psychological correction to eliminate fears.

Fear that mom will go somewhere, to the doctor? Or on business? My daughter is 9 years old, she goes with me everywhere, and if I have to leave, I’m hysterical, I leave her only with my beloved grandmother, well, there’s the fact that I’m leaving, and the fear that I won’t answer the phone! She's been sleeping with me for about a year now, she's also afraid of closed elevators.

Good day. I am addressing the problem of fear of wind, rain and bad weather. We live in the city, we try to walk outdoors, we often visit the countryside in nature. I have a 7-year-old son who has become very afraid of natural phenomena. He sits and constantly looks out the window to see if the trees are shaking, if a cloud is flying. He refuses to walk to school and hysterically demands to go by car, even if the weather is wonderful. Fear develops into panic, the whole body begins to shake. Talking doesn’t help, fears have been bottled up and thrown away, pesters the whole family and asks the same thing a million times, schoolwork has gotten worse, and I get distracted in class. I am a housewife, constantly with children, my children did not go to kindergarten, but they constantly attended various clubs and development centers, there were no problems. Tell me how to overcome the fear of the wind?

Hello, my daughter is 5 years old, she has night terrors, wakes up every night and asks to come to our bed or asks to hold her hand. What should we do about it?

Hello! My Granddaughter is 8 years old! Since six months ago, she sometimes walked in her sleep. She could come to me at night, ask to sleep with me, and in the morning she would ask in surprise how she ended up in my bed. My son worked late in the kitchen. She left around 24- 00 with a blanket in her arms. She put it on the bench. She went to the toilet and went to bed. All this in silence. Five minutes later she comes out and tells her dad that her blanket is missing. But for about a week she has been going to bed and after 10 minutes she calls to her .I turn on the light and see her eyes wide open, full of anxiety, fear. She says that as soon as she closes her eyes, her fears rotate with increasing speed. Which ones she cannot describe. Today she wandered around in her sleep again. She sleeps in the room with her brother 10 years old. The doors are always open. A very emotional, active girl. Which doctor should we contact and how to help her. By the way, several times in my absence we watched the film “Real Mysticism”, although they turned on the cartoons first. I went in and they didn’t have time to switch. Perhaps she is subconsciously replaying in her head what she saw? I hope for your help and thank you in advance.

• Hello Irina. Regarding your granddaughter’s problem, we recommend that you contact a practical child psychologist. The psychologist will conduct psychodiagnostics (in-depth penetration into the child’s inner world), psychological correction, and, if necessary, redirect to a pediatric neurologist.

Hello, my daughter is 8 years old and she just recently developed a fear of death. She fears for her life, for the life of her family, cries in the evenings, asks to read a prayer. I'm afraid for her.

Hello! My son is 6.5 years old, he didn’t go to kindergarten, there was no room! Last year we took extra classes, three times a week for three lessons! + two more times a week for three hours (for other activities) + sports 3 times a week (first tennis, then football, in general I was looking for my own thing), I could stay at home by myself, there were no problems! In September of this year, when he turned 6 years old, we were given a place in the kindergarten, the first day he went with pleasure, the next day - already with tears, but he still went! After leaving for a week, the group was closed for repairs, scattering the children into different groups! A week later, in another group, he flatly refused to go to the garden, throwing terrible tantrums and starting to choke! In general, we stopped driving, after all this he now had a fear that I would leave and not return! He didn’t let me go anywhere, he didn’t even stay with dad, he screamed, he was hysterical, they took me to a psychologist, now he lets me go, but he stays only with dad, doesn’t let him go anywhere, the fear still remains! They started taking him swimming, he really likes it, but dad has to be in sight! Now preparations for school have begun, there was one day, I sat in class with him! I will add that he is a very literate and not stupid boy, and he will definitely go to school this year! I really hope that maybe you can advise something else, otherwise I have no strength left! :(

• Hello Julia. The psychologist should have explained to you how to successfully adapt to kindergarten without mental consequences.
  All children adjust to preschool differently. For an adult, a change of environment is stressful, not to mention a baby. The child's fear is justified. For kids, time drags on endlessly and it seems to them that they were brought and left in the garden forever. We recommend not to injure the child, to get used to it gradually, to arrange additional days off, to pick it up first if possible and before lunchtime. This must be done until the baby himself agrees to stay longer. It is absolutely forbidden to be the last to be picked up from kindergarten.
  Regarding fear in the pool. Fears have a way of accumulating. The child couldn’t cope psychologically with one problem, and now there’s a new one – the swimming pool. If at this stage the baby has a need for dad to be nearby, then it is necessary to create such conditions until the child gets used to it.
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  • Thanks a lot! But you misunderstood me a little! We stopped taking them to kindergarten altogether! And the problem now is that he can’t stay anywhere without his dad or me! And we sent him to the pool even with these fears! In the hope that he will gradually get used to it without us! And the whole point is that when he goes to school, I won’t be able to sit in class with him! Here’s an example: “My youngest daughter goes to a dance, we’re sitting in the locker room waiting for her! I can’t even go to the toilet, because he follows behind, and stands under the door, and every minute asks: “Mom, are you there, haven’t you gone anywhere?”

    • Yulia, you are not alone with your problem. Such cases are not common, but they do occur.
      It is likely that something happened in the kindergarten (with teachers or with peers) and this negatively affected the child’s psyche.
      A lot depends on the environment (adults) among which the baby is, how they treat him, how comfortable and interesting he is.
      Now, about school. Children grow up rapidly; for a child, six months is a fairly long period of time and he will be able to return to a calm and confident state.
      Considering that the pool is a new place where you need to overcome additional fears associated with water and space, plus strive for achievements - learning to swim, then this is not a place to relax. This is a new stress that superimposed on the old fear of staying forever in the garden and was transferred to the pool.
      To overcome fear, you need to return and stay where you are comfortable and calm. You still have enough time until autumn. The main thing is for you to remain calm; children are very sensitive to the mood and feelings of their parents. Spend the first month of school together, take a vacation. This is normal practice.
      The youngest daughter, hearing conversations within the family and seeing the psychological state of her older brother, unconsciously copies his behavior.

Hello! We have a serious problem, the child is 3.6 years old, he has a panicky fear of food, of everything new. Let me start with the fact that from the very beginning of complementary feeding he ate poorly, with hysterics. However, he never had any interest in any food (like other children). The first tooth came out at 8 months, so he had nothing to chew. As a result, he often choked and then refused to eat at all. All my attempts to give him non-chopped food ended in gagging and vomiting. Therefore, I had to blend again and again in order for him to at least eat something. He eats milk porridges, baked soups and even ground cutlets; he loves large cottage cheese with sour cream, which he eats and chews himself. He eats only one type of cookie, an apple and a banana only when grated. He never bites off anything and eats exclusively at home. All this time I was waiting for it to outgrow, but every year nothing changes. After reading a lot about fear of food, I realized that this is a huge problem and that it will not go away on its own. I don’t know who to turn to and who to ask for help. Please help, maybe you know who I can contact with this problem and who can help. Thank you.

Hello! Thank you for the informative article! My name is Julia and my daughter Julia, she is 7. At about the age of 3 she started having night terrors and this continued intermittently. It would pass for six months or more, and then return again. We noticed that the attacks intensified when she had some kind of emotional outburst, and tried to wake her up before the expected attack. The attack lasted about 5 minutes, she was shaking very strongly, her heart was beating very strongly and she was crying very much, she did not respond to voices, and in the morning she did not remember what happened to her. We decided not to take her to the doctor because we read that if this happens before the age of 6, it may go away and everything will be fine. But she recently turned 7. Besides, now she is afraid during the day and it seems to her that someone is in the room, and at night she cannot walk anywhere on her own, I have to go to each room with her. I asked her why she was afraid and what she was seeing, she said that she was seeing a Snake and she knew that it was in her head, but she couldn’t get rid of it. I said that if it’s in your head, then you can make it small and then it won’t be scary at all! It helped for a few days, but then it came back again. Please tell us what to do and is it worth going to the doctor? Could this be a harbinger of the development of epilepsy or something else? Sorry if the text is too long, I tried to write it in detail. Maybe this will help someone too! Thank you for your time!

• Hello, Julia. In your case with your daughter, to clarify the diagnosis and subsequent corrective work, a consultation with a child psychoneurologist and psychologist is necessary.

Good afternoon My daughter is 1.8 months old, she was never afraid of anything before, except strangers, but now we are afraid of everything, when dad opens the door with the key, when the intercom rings, the child runs away and shakes him, he may burst into tears, we play catch up, first he runs away laughing, and then screams , animals, insects... How to behave in such situations, how to help a child overcome these fears?

• Hello, Nadezhda. It is necessary to understand the reasons for your child’s fears, because the baby acquired these fears in her family or in society, for example, a nursery.
  Watching TV, in particular cartoons with aggression and violence, screaming from adults, and intimidation, has a negative effect on the formation of a child’s psyche. Therefore, we recommend monitoring your behavior, words, and actions of the child’s immediate environment.
  “I’ve never been afraid of anything before, except strangers” - If a child is afraid of strangers, this means that the baby has not observed her mother’s friendliness and smiling behavior with strangers. A child will not be afraid of people if he sees openness and cordiality in his family. Very often, mothers unconsciously pass on their fears to their children. Think about it.

  • Thank you very much for your answer! We don’t watch TV, we don’t have conflicts, we don’t swear, but the fact that my mother doesn’t particularly like strangers is true, I’m a social phobe, but if they come up to us, I’m always friendly! We'll take care of ourselves, thanks again!

Hello. The child is 2.5 years old and started going to kindergarten a month ago. Every time we come there, my son throws hysterics, doesn’t want to undress and stay there, although we gather calmly at home. Before that, he went to another group where there were about ten people and everything was fine. Once, during a thunderstorm, the window slammed suddenly and noisily, after which the son was afraid for two days, did not want to go to kindergarten, but then everything went away. About two weeks ago he was transferred to another group, there are 20 people there. When we walk home from kindergarten with him, my son doesn’t even start talking about him. When I ask him why he doesn’t want to go to kindergarten, he says that he is afraid, but why is he silent. I'm afraid to talk to him about this again, so as not to injure him. I'm very worried. Please tell me what to do? Thank you very much.

Hello. My brother recently turned 7 years old. Like any child at this age, he loves to learn something new. After reading encyclopedias, the child began to be afraid of flies. If an insect flies into a room, it closes all the doors in the apartment and locks itself in one of the rooms. When asked why exactly the fly scares him, he replies that flies are carriers of dangerous infections. I tried to overcome this fear with him. We read, watched articles, studied. It helps, but for a day or two. We tried to stay in the room with a fly, she explained that even if a fly lands on you, you can just wash your hands with soap. (As a child, no one scared him with insects). Since he recently entered 1st grade, and there is such a reaction, I am afraid that he will be ridiculed at school. So that his self-esteem does not suffer. Please tell me what else can be done in this situation.

• Hello, Ekaterina. For a 7-year-old child, fear of insects is natural, and you correctly noted that it is a sign of active cognitive development. This fear appears suddenly and often does not take much time to arise. In your case, there is a high probability that after some time the fear will gradually fade away on its own if adults do not feed it with their own anxieties and fears. You have already explained to your child that flies are dangerous only in certain cases. All. Don't return to this topic. And so that peers do not ridicule, it is necessary to say that each person has his own fears and everyone struggles with these fears on their own. Only you yourself can overcome this fear and no one else. And if a person follows his fear, screams or cries, he is considered a weakling. You don't want to be considered weak. A man must remain calm in any situation, this is his strength. To dilute the atmosphere of fear of a fly, we recommend watching a cartoon together or reading Chukovsky’s “The Cluttering Fly.”

Hello. Please help me figure it out. My 7-year-old daughter has developed fears, she is afraid to touch everything, and worries that she might get sick. Once again he doesn’t want to touch textbooks, phones, keys and anything that happens on the street, so as not to wash his hands, he takes these objects through the hem of his dress. Walking down the street, he eats a bun, a dove flies over his head, tries to throw the bun away and not eat it, saying that it is no longer clean. I’m very worried myself, I say that there’s nothing wrong with it. I need to wash my hands more often, I give wet wipes with me, but it doesn’t help, I just get more and more phobias. My daughter didn’t go to kindergarten; she started going to school last year, but I didn’t watch her. It all started last 2-3 months. Maybe it’s my own fault, I just don’t understand where I went wrong. She taught me to wash my hands, not to sit on the toilet in public toilets, told me that you can catch any disease, now this teaching has resulted in fears that scare me myself. My daughter asks a hundred times a day, “Mom, did this happen to you as a child, when you accidentally touched your mouth with dirty hands?” I answer that of course, there were no wet wipes and, as you can see, she is alive and well. We ran barefoot and ate unwashed fruits from the tree, she listens and seems to calm down, and after a while everything starts all over again. He is also afraid of losing loved ones, cries if I don’t answer the phone and don’t come home on time. Well, this is clear to me, I was the same, one to one. At night I checked to see if my sleeping grandmother or mother was breathing nearby. My daughter transfers these fears to her younger brother, who is 4 years old. He also childishly repeats whether there is something terrible in one or another of his actions. I have three children, the youngest is 1 year old. I gave birth to him 2 months earlier, spent a month before his birth in confinement and a month and a half while the baby was in intensive care. I understand that most likely I should be treated first. I am a mother with my own fears and anxieties, I am afraid of losing my children and relatives. What should I do, how can I help my little daughter? I coped with my fears as a child, but will my daughter cope, will there be consequences? I hope very much for your help. We saw a neurologist, he said you have a wonderful daughter, I know this myself, and he advised me to drink children’s Tenoten. I don’t want to see a psychologist; working in an orphanage, I have bad impressions of child psychologists. They should get treatment themselves, but they diagnose children without always understanding the problem. Looking forward to your reply. Thank you in advance.

• Hello Stella. You are absolutely right that you could unknowingly pass on your fears and experiences to your daughter, but the media and school play an important role in this: lessons on life safety. If a child is receptive and absorbs all information like a sponge, then he may have concerns about his health. Continue to support your daughter emotionally, eliminate her fears by example: eat rolls with her on the street. As her daughter grows up and is raised properly, her fears will gradually disappear. You are required not to instill new phobias, since your daughter is very impressionable, so pick up the phone in time and do not leave her alone for a long time.
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Hello. As a child, I was afraid to look at any objects. Namely: on plastic toys, and not only on toys, and see what is visible inside. In particular, I could not play with plastic dolls, musical tumbler dolls, etc. I felt a sense of fear when I saw how their internal mechanisms were visible inside the torso. To be honest, I still experience these fears. Why could this be?

• Hello, Oleg. As a child, the inside of a translucent toy appeared to your eyes as a living substance. This caused a state of shock, which took root in the child’s consciousness in the form of fear and was remembered as the most powerful experience of childhood.

Many parents are faced with such a problem as fears in preschool children. Research conducted by psychologists has shown that there are about 30 types of fear. Some of them are harmless or funny from the point of view of adults, but there are also serious ones, those that can have an impact on the child’s entire future life. It has long been proven that most adult fears are formed in childhood.

What is fear

Fear is a natural reaction to danger, whether it is real or imagined. Parents should not forget that the child lives in his own world, where inanimate objects can talk and move, and fairy-tale characters are quite real. Therefore, the baby can see a threat where in fact there is none. Whatever the cause of children's fear, and no matter how it manifests itself, parents must take it seriously and its correction.

Psychologists distinguish the following types of childhood fears:

• Free fear characterized by a fearful expectation not associated with a specific object or situation, which can manifest itself at any moment.
• Neurotic fear appears due to a violation of mental functions, for example, due to neurosis.
• Real fear is a normal reaction of the innate instinct of self-preservation to external danger.

Causes

Psychologists have divided the causes of fears in preschool children into several groups.

Specific case. A certain situation that happened to a child, for example, he was bitten by a dog, or he got lost in a store, can cause him to fear a similar incident in the future. Most often, such fears appear in children who are unsure of themselves, suspicious, and with increased anxiety.

Environment. Regular conflicts in the family can lead to the development of fears in a child, as children often feel guilty for their parents’ quarrels. Difficulties in communication are also a cause of fear. If a child is bullied in a group, it is difficult for him to establish contact with peers, older children intimidate him, then he may begin to fear going to kindergarten or school.

Suggestion from the outside. Sometimes the appearance of fears in children is triggered by overly emotional warnings about danger from parents, grandparents, and teachers. Adults worry about children, so they quite often warn them about the dangerous consequences of any situation or action, for example, “Don’t walk, you’ll fall!”, “Don’t touch, you’ll get hurt.” The child usually remembers the second part of the warning and at the same time feels anxious. In the future, the feeling of fear and anxiety will be fixed in his mind and will spread to similar situations. Fear instilled in childhood can remain with a person for life, so such phobias must be corrected.

Own fantasy. In preschool age, children quite often invent their own fears. For example, a child is afraid of the dark, because terrible monsters may be hiding in it. As some children grow older, they forget about such fears, and in some they can cause the development of nervous disorders.

Mental disorders. Fears in children are also a symptom of neurosis - a mental illness that needs to be treated. With neurosis, strong attacks of fear for any reason appear, which are not typical for the age norm of the child.

Correcting fears with drawing

While drawing, the child expresses his emotions. The drawing is a kind of mirror, reflecting the character traits, interests, and hobbies of the preschooler. Therefore, psychologists consider correcting fears in preschool children using drawing an effective method. When a child draws an object that causes him fear, his anxiety, provoked by the expectation of something scary, decreases. The preschooler will not be afraid of the drawing, since the fear drawn is not dangerous, because it is something that has already happened.

The duration of drawing should not exceed 20-30 minutes. The child himself must choose: draw one of his biggest fears or several that cause less fear.

Set your preschooler up for drawing. Before your child begins to draw his fears, encourage him to draw something with a neutral theme, such as his favorite animals or his family. Based on the last picture, the psychologist can determine what kind of relationship the baby has with his parents and loved ones.

Go to the topic of fears. Invite your child to draw a picture on the theme “Bad Dream” or “What I’m Afraid of.” In cases where a preschooler does not know how to portray his fear, an adult can tell him. If a child refuses to draw his fears, it means that he denies them; in such situations, correcting the phobia will not be easy.

Analyze the drawings. Pay attention to which colors predominate in the picture. If the colors are mostly black and gray, then this is an indication that the preschooler is depressed. When a child’s psyche is unable to cope with a large number of fears, it shows this in a depressed mood. If a baby draws specific objects or phenomena that frighten him, then this is an indicator that he is ready to overcome his fear.

Discuss the drawings. Talk to your child about what he drew, express your approval to him that he was able to overcome his fear, and draw it.

Make fear funny. When discussing his drawing with a preschooler, try to describe what is depicted with humor. Then ask your child if he is scared. If the child is no longer afraid of what he drew, be sure to praise him. And if the phobia still remains, then it has become much weaker, the main thing is that the child feels the support of adults. Regardless of the result of the correction, tell your child that he did a good job.

Fear is a normal emotion of any person, caused by the need to preserve life or life values. This feeling is not only the norm, but also a necessity, as it helps us avoid mistakes or even danger.

Children's fears and ways to correct them in preschool children are one of the most discussed topics among psychologists and parents. It is important to understand that although feelings of fear are normal, they always deserve attention and the need to help the child cope with them.

Types of children's fears

The peculiarity of children's fears is that, as a rule, they are not associated with a real threat, but are a reflection of the information that children receive from adults and pass through the prism of their imagination. Fears are an inevitable part of development; more than half of children experience them. Let us highlight three main groups of fear in preschool children.

• Situational (based on my own experience). Such fears are quite logical - they arise as a result of stressful situations experienced: a dog bite (or simply scared by a dog), a painful procedure in the hospital. It is not surprising that after this the baby will be afraid to get into such a situation again.
• Personality-related (fantasy). Children's imagination is limitless, and if it is supported by read fairy tales and watched cartoons, the expectation of monsters and old women appearing under the bed is quite normal.
• Suggested. Unfortunately, these are the most common fears in children. We often hear parents say: “Sleep, otherwise someone else’s uncle, a wolf, or a woman will carry you away,” “Don’t walk, you’ll fall, get hit by a car, you’ll be robbed...”. And it turns out that the subtext in such warnings always sounds: “You will be in danger, and I will not come to your aid, because only you will be to blame.” In addition, increased anxiety can be passed on to the child if the family constantly talks about how dangerous it is to walk the streets, how harmful it is to watch modern movies (read books), that there is war and death all around, that all products are of low quality and carry danger. . In other words, we ourselves teach our children to be afraid.

Every age has its own fears. For example, children from birth to 6 months are afraid of sharp sounds and separation from their mother; from 7 to 12 months, fears of changing clothes, fear of strangers, sudden changes in situation, heights may increase; from 2 years - fear of loneliness, health workers, fear of falling asleep associated with nightmares; 3–5 years - fear of the dark, water, closed spaces, punishment; 6 years - fear of one's own death and the death of parents, fire, war. Of course, this means average terms.

Why do they occur?

• Genetic predisposition, type of temperament. Some children are hypersensitive and emotional from birth.
• Hyperprotection. Excessive control will sooner or later lead to the child starting to be afraid of everything: animals, the street, other people's children and adults, etc. Undoubtedly, such a child will be more “convenient”, because he is nearby all the time and does not interfere anywhere, but this will prevent him from socializing normally.
• Tense atmosphere at home. Drinking family members (and, accordingly, dangerous ones), a single mother or father, dysfunctional relationships between parents, excessive severity towards the child - all this can lead to a constant feeling of anxiety and nervousness.
• Stressful events. Divorce of parents, trauma, long-term treatment in hospital.
• Psychological disorder. Fears that are too strong or unusual for age, which can lead to neurotic conditions. Here, consultation with a specialist is necessary, otherwise fears can develop into phobias.

How to help your child

Your child's fears may seem stupid and irrational to you, but for him everything is very serious and real. Don't smile or chuckle when your child talks about being afraid of the neighbor's poodle or the monster under the bed. He should know that you understand him and are ready to help at any moment. Fears will not go away if you ignore them. Let's take a closer look at the most common childhood fears in preschool children and ways to combat them.

Darkness

“I can’t see what’s there, so I feel unprotected.” Most children are afraid of the dark (and not only children) - this is a fear of the unknown. Try to teach your child to be friends with the dark. Leave the light on in the yard at night (if you live in a private house), light a night light in the bedroom, thus allowing the baby to control the amount of light at night. It can be gradually reduced. Help your child understand darkness - go for night walks, talk about things that can only be observed in the dark: the moon, fireflies, crickets singing, etc.

Monsters

“They hide under my bed, waiting for an opportunity to hurt me.” Even if you know for sure that monsters do not exist, there is no point in proving this to a child, because his imagination is much stronger than your logic. Before going to bed, look into all the “dangerous” corners of the room, make sure that no one is present at the moment and you can sleep peacefully. You can come up with the idea of ​​“fending off monsters.” For example, fill a spray bottle with magic water and spray it in your room every time before going to bed. And don’t forget to hang a “No Monsters!” sign above your bed.

Bad weather

“The howling wind and thunder are scary, so I need mom and dad to protect me.” Tell your child in an accessible language what the weather is, try to get them interested in this topic - this is a good way to overcome fear. Play outside in windy weather and light rain, make a simple nature calendar so that your child can mentally prepare for tomorrow's weather. If you live in an area with frequent natural disasters, develop a disaster response plan. This will give the child a feeling of greater control over the situation.

Nightmares

"I'm afraid to go to sleep because I have bad dreams." Children are often afraid to fall asleep because of nightmares. Even if the child still speaks poorly and cannot talk about his dreams, you can always tell by his behavior: crying before bed and after waking up, restless sleep, unwillingness to sleep alone. Dreams often reflect our well-being - mental and physical. If the child is healthy, then you need to reconsider the emotional atmosphere in the family. Frequent reproaches to the child, constant scolding from adults, watching clearly unchildish TV shows in the presence of the baby - all this can affect the child’s immature psyche and deprive him of restful sleep.

A 2008 study (Dr. Valerie Simard, Canada) confirms that children who sleep next to their mother until age 2 are much less likely to have nightmares in later years than children who sleep alone.

The most common character in children's nightmares is the Wolf, which may reflect the fear of an adult male who is too strict with him: dad, grandfather, older brother. In the same way, an overly strict and irritable woman (mother, teacher) comes into children's dreams in the form of Baba Yaga.

Praise your baby more often, increase the number of outdoor games, protect him from scandals, inappropriate videos and conversations about disasters and crime. Stay close to him until he falls asleep, and then gradually replace yourself with his favorite toy. Ventilate the nursery and do not overfeed the baby at night. But if you see that the nightmares are becoming constant, and the baby’s emotional state is clearly not normal (aggressiveness, fearfulness, tearfulness, etc.), consultation with a specialist is necessary.

Scary tale (film, cartoon)

Most children's fairy tales (both old classic and new) contain scenes of violence, intimidation, threats, terrible transformations of heroes), which can frighten a very impressionable child, and a fear of any character appears - he can appear in the dark, come in a dream, etc. etc. Correcting children's fears with the help of fairy tales is a good method for combating fears, even those caused by the fairy tales themselves. Together with your child, come up with your own story featuring a scary hero. This fairy tale must have a good beginning and a good ending.

Fear of strangers

“I don’t know who you are or what to expect from you, so I’d rather be with my mother.” Fear of close contact with strangers or relatives with whom he rarely sees is an absolutely normal reaction of any child, an instinct of self-preservation. To reduce your child’s anxiety when communicating with strangers, ask adults not to contact too persistently (in other words, do not interfere with the child), and to be patient. Tell them a few of your baby's favorite games that will help them find contact.

Fear of separation from parents

“Why are you leaving me? What if you don't come back? Fear of separation from parents is a normal stage in the development of the psyche of any child. If you need to regularly leave your child in the care of another person, then let him be well known to you and the baby (grandmother, aunt, older children, nanny to whom he is accustomed). Before leaving, play with your child, be sure to say goodbye to him (rather than quietly sneaking away), and try not to linger. Such a daily ritual will let the baby know that mom always comes back.

Fear of loneliness

“I only feel safe when you are in the room next to me.” When your baby begins to play on his own, gradually teach him to be alone. First, move away from him to the other end of the room and watch him from there. Then gradually move to another room, but so as to be in the child’s field of view. Stay away for no more than 30 seconds and then come back again. Gradually it will be possible to accustom your baby to complete privacy in the room. But remember that leaving a child unattended can be dangerous for him.

Masks, costumes, life-size puppets

“I'm afraid of masks because they look unnatural and I don't know what's behind them.” Masquerade costumes and life-size puppets at the holiday can bring joy to children, but they can also frighten them. The fact is that they, as a rule, look unnatural (not similar to real people and animals, they are too large or disproportionate), and this very often frightens preschool children. At the holiday, do not get too close to the masked actors - let the baby first study the characters from afar, and then ask the actor to take off the mask and smile at the baby.

Fear of doctors

"I'm afraid of the doctor because he hurts me." Fear of medical procedures overtakes a child already in the hospital corridor while waiting (or even at home), and here it is important to prepare him correctly. Talk in advance about the progress of the procedure, promise a small reward (sweets, a trip to the park, etc.), while waiting, distract him with songs and games to reduce tension. If possible, be present with your child during the procedure, and after it, be sure to praise him, tell him how brave and strong he is.

Fear of animals

“I’m afraid of other people’s animals because I don’t know what to expect from them.” Don't laugh at your child if he is afraid of cats, dogs or insects. Don’t say: “Don’t make things up, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Instead, say, “I understand that the dog scares you. Let’s walk past it together - I’ll hold your hand.” Introduce your baby to safe insects by holding them in your hands, without insisting that your baby pick them up himself.

Death

Sooner or later, the child begins to notice dead pigeons and insects on the street, and pay attention to the concept of “death” in the conversations of adults. Fear of death is often found in preschool children (64% of girls, 36% of boys), because they begin to understand that someday (or even suddenly) their parents and themselves will no longer exist. He is afraid that one day he will close his eyes, “and that’s it.” Your task in such a situation is not to hide your eyes and not to run away from the answer. And even more so, do not reproach him for such thoughts. Just calmly explain to your child that everyone dies and that’s normal. Let him know that this is natural and not scary.

Never laugh at your child’s fears, do not belittle them, do not ignore them, and, especially, do not punish them for them. Only your understanding, respect, sensitive attitude and assistance will help your child overcome his fears and achieve peace of mind.

In addition to the above, correction of fantasy fears in preschool children can be carried out by drawing and modeling from plasticine. Ask your child to draw his fear - it could be a monster under the bed, images from a nightmare, etc. Together with your child, think about what this fear might be afraid of: for example, laughter. Then you need to laugh at this fear together, draw something funny for it, etc. Or you can burn the piece of paper with the drawing and say goodbye to this fear forever. Remember that here you cannot put pressure on the child and force him to draw. Otherwise, he will close in on himself, and the fear may intensify.

If a child is afraid of a doctor or animals (situational fears), then the game method is well suited here. Let your baby be the doctor himself - children usually like this. You may have to replay the same situations over and over again, but with a gentle and unobtrusive approach, the fear will gradually go away.

If you see that your child’s fears are interfering with his daily life (he flatly refuses to sleep, has become aggressive or withdrawn, does not let his mother take a step away from him), then you need to consult a doctor. Remember that the fears of preschool children are easily corrected by specialists if you contact them in time.

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