Parent and teenager: friends or enemies? How to build a relationship with a child? What to do to prevent your child from becoming computer dependent
Today I would like to draw your attention to the issue of determining the level of knowledge when studying foreign languages. This is a rather difficult question, which, in my opinion, does not have a clear answer. Without claiming to be the ultimate truth, I just want to share my opinion on this matter.
We are often called upon to determine our level of knowledge using various tests. I will not argue with anyone about the objectivity of this knowledge testing, I just know from practice how many children, and adults too (let’s be honest) resolve this issue.
For example, a task is given and three possible answers are offered. If we know the answer, choose the right one. And if we don’t know, we choose at random, and what if it works out... Oh, this unpredictable Slavic soul...
What kind of objectivity of knowledge testing can we talk about in this case?
Or here's another example.
Last year, our “highest bright minds” from the education system decided to test the level of knowledge of students in grades 5-7 in foreign languages. Orders about this wonderful experience were sent to all schools two months before the start of the experiment (just before the end of the school year).
When the first samples of these tests appeared on the main website, everyone was shocked (teachers, children and their parents)
· The children were shocked that “this is so stressful!”
· Parents - from the fact that they again need to shell out money for new books!
· Teachers – because the material proposed in the tests needs to be studied for at least a year, or even more!
Yes, there is nothing to do. (We are no strangers. We are forced people. Where did ours not disappear...)
I wonder what you would do in such a situation?
And while you're thinking, I'll tell you what each participant in this testing process did:
· The teachers stressed the students and encouraged them to learn EVERYTHING, and when they realized that EVERYONE would not learn EVERYTHING, they began to look for other ways... (After all, the test results were supposed to show the level of teaching).
· The students were divided into two categories: some began to teach, and others, pretending that they were teaching, also began to look for other ways...
· Parents hoped for a miracle until the last moment, and then simply began to save money, knowing that almost all school innovations are usually solved at their expense
And here a new participant in this process appears on the scene - enterprising publishers, who, having made a fuss, quickly published not only all the tests, but also all the answers to these tests.
This is happiness! And the work of writing cheat sheets began to boil...
At this time, a sixth-grader with a zero level of knowledge began to come to me for additional classes. I immediately warned my parents not to expect quick results, because a lot had been missed.
How will she pass these tests? – I thought (naive).
But that was not the case: the girl passed the test with the highest score!
And from the reports of the heads of public education it was clear that
“...in general, students showed a good level of knowledge”...
The moral of this story is: knowledge testing using tests is not the most reliable way to test the level of knowledge, especially in the vastness of the former Soviet Union.
If you have your own opinion on this matter, share it in the comments,
And in the next article I will tell you about one very simple way to determine the level of knowledge for beginners.
With best wishes and faith in your success!
21.09.2011
It is a rare parent who does not dream of such a state of affairs. And if in kindergarten a tearful boy waited for the evening to quickly tell his mother how his day went, then the teenager usually answers “everything is fine” to all questions. This means that you have little by little exhausted his credibility. How to maintain a trusting relationship for many years?
1. Be an “on” parent. This means being aware of the child’s affairs, his state of mind, being interested in his plans, being able to see and anticipate traumatic situations, understanding his desires and needs, respecting his opinion, listening to his advice. This means being able to empathize and feel sorry without blaming. This means never brushing aside his questions, stories, listening and hearing the child. And don’t show it, even if you’re mortally bored by his chatter.
2. Trust the child. Do not read his letters, do not spy on the Internet, do not listen at the door, do not shake out your pockets and desk drawers. Trust, even if there were “punctures” before. And also - to keep the secrets of the child that he entrusted to you.
3. Communicate as equals. Watch your tone, words, advice, do not deceive or be cunning, do not bribe. It helps to imagine that you are not talking to a seven-year-old, but to a good friend or respected colleague of forty. Or, when scolding a child (let’s be honest, where would we be without this), imagine that in addition to you, your boss is also standing in the room. Introduced? That's it, choose your expressions.
4. Provide 100% support. Your child should know that you will accept him no matter what - dirty, ragged, drunk, or with a D in his “diary”. This does not mean that you cannot criticize and disrespect your child. Need to. But - only in private. Never
unite against the child with educators, teachers, doctors and other people. Even if he is wrong, your task in public is to protect him, and then arrange a debriefing at home.
5. Provide assistance. But - only when asked. And according to the principle of the sage from the eastern parable, who gave the hungry man not a fish, but a fishing rod.
6. Know and accept all his friends. Don't dictate who to be friends with and who not to be friends with. Let them gather at your home rather than anywhere else. Let their invasion leave behind a scorched desert, a flood or an empty refrigerator. Let you stand in line for your own toilet and not be able to walk around your house shaggy or half-naked. But you know exactly where and with whom your child is now and you can be sure that he has not gotten involved with bad company. And for his friends you will be the envy of the most “worldly” parents!
These tips are not at all easy in practice: you need a lot of mental and physical strength every day in order not to allow yourself to behave in a way that could push your child away from you.
Elena Andreeva
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09/10/2011 How do parents of a schoolchild differ from just parents? |
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The interaction of a child with a parent is the first experience of interaction with the outside world. The family lays down the system of relationships between the child and close adults, the characteristics of communication, methods and forms of joint activities, family values and guidelines. This experience is consolidated and forms certain patterns of behavior with other people, which are passed on from generation to generation. Many parents are quite aware of the shortcomings of their upbringing, but very often they lack basic psychological literacy to solve their problems. Analysis of family situations during the consultation process helps the parent look at himself from the outside, as if through the eyes of another person, and thereby objectify his behavior. At the initial stage, you yourself can determine how much of a friend you are to your child. Invite him to take a simple test. Test: Are parents friends or enemies?
RESULT: 50-72 points: Almost always the situation in your family is close to combat. Don't forget that relationships with parents are your responsibility too. After some time, you will also become a member of the older generation. It makes sense to learn to find common ground now. The first step should be taken by the one who is stronger and younger, and not by the one who considers himself right - this is the rule for resolving any conflicts. 25-49 points: It is not profitable to quarrel with your parents, because you still have to make peace. The family situation may seem very bleak at times, but there are still some bright spots. Both you and your parents have experience in maintaining conflict-free relationships, you just rarely use it. As soon as you begin to take into account that your parents also have feelings, desires and needs, they will begin to recognize you as an equal person. 15-24 points: Sometimes your relationship with your parents can be marred by misunderstandings, irritation and despair. There are no ideal families, but almost all people strive to improve relationships with their loved ones and look for all possible ways to do this. You should discuss with your parents what issues mutual understanding has not yet been reached and try to solve problems together. Up to 15 points: If you answered the questions honestly, then we can conclude that your relationship with your parents is quite good. There are practically no quarrels in your family. True, sometimes such an idyll can hide your lack of self-confidence, dependence on your parents and reluctance to become independent. Plan work social teacher for the 2015-2016 academic year Social teacher of the school Bukhanistova Tatyana Yurievna. Living among people and being happy means, first of all, be able to fulfill your duty. V.A. Sukhomlinsky The purpose of the activity of a social teacher – social adaptation of the child’s personality in society, not to break and re-educate, but to help prevent the negative path of his development. Tasks of the work of a social teacher for the 2015/2016 academic year: Formation in students of an adequate idea of a healthy lifestyle, prevention of fatigue in schoolchildren in the process of educational work. Coordination of the activities of all school specialists to improve the academic performance and social adaptation of children and adolescents. Forming motivation and cognitive interests in high school students to continue their education. Prevention of crime among adolescents. Social and pedagogical support for students and children undergoing various types of supervision. Social information assistance aimed at providing children with information on social protection issues. 7. Identifying the interests and needs of students, difficulties and problems, deviations in behavior, level of social security and adaptation to the social environment. To achieve the goals set for the 2015/2016 academic year, it is expected to perform the following functions in the work of a social teacher: Preventive function Studying the conditions for the development of a child in the family, at school, determining the level of his personal development, psychological and physical state, social status of the family; Legal, psychological, pedagogical education of parents, teachers, students; Educational and practical classes, role-playing games, trainings. Protective and security function Creation of a data bank of families about problems and conflict situations; Preparation of documentation to represent the interests of children in government and law enforcement agencies; Individual conversations, group classes with participants in conflict situations, ensuring contact of children with parents and teachers in the event of a conflict Organizational function Providing individual consultations with parents, teachers and students. Contact with local authorities and municipal services for social protection of families and children, law enforcement agencies, and public organizations. Organization of leisure and recreation through communication with children's associations and institutions of additional education. Main directions: 1. Social and pedagogical research to identify social and personal problems of children. 2. Formation of a Data Bank 3. Organization of universal education 4. Social and pedagogical protection of the rights of the child: 4.1. Work to protect the rights of children with disabilities 4.2. Work to protect the rights of children from large families 4.3. Work to protect the rights of children from low-income families 4.4. Work to protect the rights of minors without parental care 5. Social and pedagogical support for students attending the High School 6. Social and pedagogical support for families attending the High School 7. Work with OU teachers 8. Organizational and methodological activities Expected result: Formation of attitudes and skills of responsible behavior that reduce the likelihood of leading a socially dangerous lifestyle, committing an offense or crime. Reducing risk factors leading to neglect and delinquency among teenagers. Reduction in the number of students and their families enrolled in various types of preventive registration. Effective cooperation with specialists from departments and institutions of the system for the prevention of neglect and crime Objects of activity. 1 . Class teacher, subject teacher; 2.Parents; 3.Difficult children (consisting of different types of registration). Identification of children left without parental careDrawing up lists (registered with the PDN, registered with the Higher School of Economics, asocial families, disabled children, children at risk). Individual conversations with students registered in the PDN and HSC. Formation of a data bank - a social file index, which includes: (low-income, large, single-parent families; neglected, “difficult” children; supervised children; disabled children;) Conversations in grades 5 - 11 "Appearance of the student" Subjecting students with antisocial behavior from disadvantaged families to in-school monitoring Design of social media class passports Drawing up a school social passport Conducting a Prevention Council. Plan approval Home visits to minors registered with the High School. Quiz for 5th grade students "Do you know the rules of behavior at school?" Monitoring the progress, attendance and behavior of children at risk Working with parents Working with families in need of social protection Identification of children from low-income families Identification of dysfunctional families, examination of the living conditions of minors Meeting with parents of children with deviant behavior Enrollment of students from disadvantaged families into the HSC October Working with students Monitoring of wards, examination of living conditions, monitoring of studies and health. Control acts Working with children with antisocial behavior. Work of the Crime Prevention Council; Work to prevent student neglect and vagrancy, delinquency and crime. Coverage of students who require special pedagogical supervision with circle work, monitor their employment and attendance Home visits to minors registered with the school Consultations for students and parents on social protection issues Man and drugs: who needs it and why?” 8th grade Class hour “misdemeanor, offense, crime” (4th grade) Working with parents Working with families in need of social protection. Preventive work with parents who avoid raising children. Working with disadvantaged families Raid on dysfunctional families Individual conversations with parents of students who are registered in the PDN and on internal school records - about the responsibilities for raising children. November Working with students Work to protect children's rights Working with children with antisocial behavior. Work of the Crime Prevention Council; Work to prevent student neglect and vagrancy, Conducting a Prevention Council Class hour “Crime and Punishment” (7th grade) Monitoring lesson attendance for students at risk “If you are kind” 5th grade Conduct a survey “My attitude to drugs.” 8th grade. Working with parents Working with disadvantaged families Testing “Parents: friends or enemies?” December Working with students Work to protect children's rights Reconciliation of information in the guardianship department Conversation with 7th grade students. "Rights and responsibilities of minors" Student lecture “Protection of the child against abuse in the family” Working with children with antisocial behavior: offenses and crimes Visits by a social teacher, class teacher, to minor children at home. Survey reports Monitoring the progress, attendance and behavior of children at social riskClass hour “Conflicts in our lives” (6th grade) Testing “My behavior in a conflict situation” Working with parents Working with disadvantaged families Individual conversations with parents"Parents' responsibility for their children outside of school hours" January Working with students Work to protect children's rights Organization and control of recreation during the winter holidaysInspection of living conditions at home at the request of the guardianship department Work of the crime prevention council Work to prevent student neglect and vagrancy, offenses and crimes Raid together with a PDN inspector to identify cases of neglect among school students Questionnaire “Your attitude towards drugs” (7th grade) Home visits to children at social risk. Survey reports Class hour “Living in accordance with the law” (9th grade)Individual work with students at risk Questioning of 6th grade students “How to learn to manage yourself” Working with parents Working with disadvantaged families Individual work with parents from associative families. February Working with students Work to protect children's rights Questioning for grades 9 - 10 "criminal and administrative responsibility of minors." Working with children with antisocial behavior Work of the crime prevention council Work to prevent neglect and vagrancy of students, delinquency and crime Conducting a preventive conversation “Youth problem: drug addiction, substance abuse; Home visits to minors enrolled in high school Monitoring the attendance and behavior of children at social risk “Tree of Tolerance” 6th grade Questionnaire “Your attitude to the problem of drug addiction” 9th grade, “Risk” (prevention of PAF) (8th grade) Release of information posters “Live without drugs” Working with parents Working with disadvantaged families Visiting families at home at the request of class teachers Drawing up inspection reports. Individual consultations with students and parents March Working with students Working with children with antisocial behavior Work of the crime prevention council Work to prevent student neglect and vagrancy. Conducting a crime prevention council Monitoring the progress, attendance and behavior of children from the “social risk” group Home visits for minors enrolled in high school Conversation for girls in grades 8 - 9 "Prevention of crime among girls" Poster competition “Know and Obey the Law” “Mom – don’t kill me!” girls 10th grade Working with parents Working with disadvantaged families Individual consultations with students and parents Visiting families registered with the Department of Internal Affairs and internal school registration. Registration of acts of housing and living conditions of students April Working with students Working with children with antisocial behavior Work of the crime prevention council Work to prevent student neglect and vagrancy, offenses and crimes Home visits for minors in high school. Monitoring academic performance, attendance and antisocial behavior of children Conversation “Where should I go if my rights are violated?” Class hour “On the meaning of life” (7th grade) Questionnaire "Relationships with peers, parents, teachers. Ways to solve problems" Business game “What to spend your life on” 9th grade Questioning of 4th grade students “What is true friendship” Working with parents Working with disadvantaged families Joint raids with a PDN inspector on dysfunctional families Individual work, consultations with parents May Working with students Work to protect children's rights Planning and organizing summer holidays Results of the academic year. Report to the pedagogical council Working with children with antisocial behavior Work of the crime prevention council Work to prevent student neglect and vagrancy Organization of summer employment for children registered within the school and registered with the PDN Compiling lists of summer employment for children at risk Monitoring class attendance by registered students Organizing the participation of children at risk in activities,dedicated to May 9. Conversation between a traffic police inspector and students in grades 7 and 8. Topic: "Behavior and safety of minors in the summer" Working with parents Working with disadvantaged families Interviews with parents about summer holidays for children at risk Visiting families at home Working with teaching staff Planning work for the next year. Preparation of a report on work for the year. Student employment during the summer holidays. IN third International Word Webster's re
2662 pages. Preparing this dictionary for publication cost three and a half million dollars. Its compilers defined the boundaries of adolescence from 13 to 19 years. This doesn't clarify much. The origins of the English word "teen" shed a little more light. The word is derived from the Old English word tenoa, which means trauma, anger, and grief. Yes, the teenage years can be painful for both the teen and the parent. Although the teenager has not yet achieved the freedom that an adult has, he has already lost many of the advantages of childhood. As a result, for seven years he feels, figuratively speaking, suspended in time. The average fifteen-year-old feels like everything he finds attractive is off-limits. He cannot drink, drive, get married, borrow money on his own, make decisions, vote, or join the military. But he must
go to school whether he likes it or not. Many prohibitions cause strained relationships between adults and teenagers, and this tension continues as long as the teenager remains financially dependent on his parents. Radio, television and other media constantly report statistics on teenage crime and delinquency, early pregnancy and drug addiction. Can we say that today's teenagers are worse than we were at their age? Probably not, but it would be fair to say that today's teenager is definitely different from the teenager of twenty or thirty years ago. Although today's teenagers do everything you did back in the day, they start doing it much earlier than previous generations. Sociologists confirm that children these days mature faster. Boys start courting girls earlier and are exposed to all aspects of life at an earlier age. Today's teens have more money, more modes of transportation, more free time, and fewer inhibitions than ever before. They also reach puberty three years earlier than the previous generation. And the problems of the adult world only make their situation worse. Divorce, inflation, energy crises and political corruption are not a very pleasant picture. Adults who are unable to cope with their own problems can hardly understand the storm of emotions and experiences that rage in the souls of their teenage children. During this difficult time, a teenager needs a parent who can understand that he is in the process of becoming an adult. He needs parents who can listen patiently and understand him without reacting too violently to his views and actions. Until adolescence, your child more or less accepted your guidelines and agreed with them after you persuaded him. However, now you notice that your teenager questions your every phrase. The child, who was previously happy with your care for him, now seems anxious, restless and irritable. The disciplinary methods you used before are no longer effective. Your teen's self-esteem is plummeting. Responsible behavior is a thing of the past. The closeness you dreamed of with your teen seems like an unattainable ideal. The active listening you saved as a last resort is now not bearing the expected fruits. The teenager loses the desire to stay at home with his family. Even when he is at home, his thoughts wander elsewhere. He acts as if being seen in your presence is a crime. You are confused by his emotional ups and downs, outbursts of anger, and in some cases strange slowness. You are at a loss: have you lost your parenting skills, have you completely lost contact with your child? You get confused in your words when you ask for help to understand yourself and your teenager. You try to remember how you felt at that age. But the weight of the past years clouds your memory. Your inner turmoil is further amplified by your friends' frightening stories of how they couldn't cope with their teenagers during this difficult time. Armed with a faint hope of success, you bravely face the storm and find that one hurricane has barely ended before another one approaches, If I have at least partially described the situation prevailing in your family, calm down and relax. This is the norm! You shouldn't feel like you're failing as a parent, even if you're caught up in emotional battles with your growing teen. You are faced with the first stage of the uprising. Popular
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