What to do if your husband earns less? We ask psychologists. If a man does not earn money What must be done so that the husband earns well, how to force the husband to earn money

We are all so different that some like white, while others prefer turquoise. And arguing about what is more beautiful and why is an absolutely useless idea, and also too philosophical. And therefore, for the modern world, where women are trying to manage more and more, in the sense of having children, building a career, and keeping their butts in check, the fact that this is also in financial terms is becoming completely normal. And on this issue there will be exactly the same number of opinions as there are similar examples of families with such initial data.

Remember the situation of Anne Hathaway's character in the movie The Intern? The housewife husband, who was known to all the ladies in the area and the mothers from his daughter’s kindergarten, left his career for a strange reason: his wife had a more pleasant relationship with her work, which means she was in control of the flag. It all ended too banally: the husband, who did not see his wife, was left without attention and love, and at the same time, mired in cooking, washing and other feminine joys, soon got into an affair on the side. He no longer felt needed, could not lend a strong man's shoulder and was financially dependent on his always busy wife. Isn't that exactly what happens in life? Maybe not all families have such financial inversion, but certainly many do.

Man's financial ceiling

By choosing a certain man as a companion, in essence, a woman chooses for herself the life that he can offer her. Therefore, it is quite normal that not everyone enjoys Bali; some will have to fly once a year exclusively under the palm trees of Turkish lands

For many men, there is the concept of a financial ceiling, and this in turn means that your chosen one will never jump above his capabilities. That’s why he offers you a specific life with the comfort conditions that he has at the moment. It turns out to be at least strange and dishonest in relation to a man: to marry, roughly speaking, a driver, and then demand the impossible from him - diamond rings, villas in Spain and “When will you finally start earning normal money?” In this case, the fact that he earns much less than his wife does not give her the right to humiliate his manhood, pull the poor fellow by the ears, pushing him around with the fact that “I can do it” - this is also a kind of blow below the belt.

Weakening capabilities

But there is another type of man who is potentially ready to grow and earn money; it’s just that their career is currently either at the start or at an intermediate stage before a possible takeoff. A woman’s unlimited financial capabilities, or limited but largely large ones, can inadvertently dampen a man’s passion. For men who walk seven miles uphill, the main motivator has always been the desire to provide their woman, children, and family with comfortable living conditions. That’s why they strive for bigger and better things. And then - boom - and everything is already presented to you on a silver platter, and your efforts become absolutely unnecessary - everything is already there. As a result, the man relaxes and stops growing in his career, fixating on constant static behavior - the wife will still solve all family problems.

No career ambitions

There is a third type of men who, in principle, are far from the world of financial problems. These can be creative people who are either interested in, for example, science, or deeply family-oriented, who have a strongly developed paternal origin and a desire to devote most of their lives to family, children and home, or those who have limited physical capabilities due to health reasons. Naturally, such men will always earn potentially less than their wife. Will this make them bad husbands or fathers? Of course not! But at the same time, the decisive factor for stability and harmony in such a family should be mutual consent, that is, this state of affairs should suit both to the maximum extent possible. Many European men, for example, choose exactly this format of family relationships, based on the principle “Whoever does it better is at the helm, and the other takes care of the housework and children,” without any gender prejudice.

Every woman wants a successful and prosperous man next to her. But these expectations are not always met. In such cases, a woman either leaves for another, more promising man, or takes the initiative into her own hands and begins to provide for the family herself. However, both of these options are extremes. I WANT to try to figure out what needs to be done for a man to earn good money.

Grade

Leaving a man or taking on all his responsibilities is not an option. The way out of the situation is to learn how to inspire your man to make money. Now this topic is more relevant than ever and is actively discussed by both sides, both men and women.

After analyzing a huge amount of material on this topic, we can draw the following conclusion. Basically, advice to women on how to inspire a man to achieve feats is given by women themselves. On the one hand, there is nothing special about this, because female psychologists have every right to give advice to less knowledgeable women. On the other hand, it is always interesting to know what the perpetrators of these heated discussions, that is, men, think about this.

WANT I tried to show both views on the same problem.

Women's opinion

Wives very often want their husbands to earn more. And at the same time, oddly enough, it is women, without realizing it, who most often limit a man’s earning opportunities. It would seem like a paradox, but in many cases it is true.

For example, a woman with very low self-esteem will never be able to motivate a man to earn more, because she is satisfied with what she has. She would rather deny herself the necessary new clothes, but buy food for the whole family. On the one hand, this shows concern for loved ones, on the other hand, they quickly get used to this form of behavior, and later all family members will simply begin to wipe their feet on their mother.

“No new skirt? Why do you need a new one? You somehow managed without her all this time. Your old one is still quite decent!”, we are sure that this phrase is not an invention. In such a situation, a man, even if he does not lose interest in conquering career heights (because the desire for success is his nature), then directs his financial flows no longer into his wife’s pocket, but onto the shoulders of a more demanding mistress in the form of a mink coat.

When a woman has no desires, she destroys the success of a man, who loses the incentive to move forward. Men need little; they are ascetic by nature. That's why when many men start a family, they start earning more.

Some women teach other women that they themselves must contribute to the success of the man they love. With warmth, care and love, acceptance, sex, a woman fills a man with her energy, sets the vector, and the man turns this energy into the energy of prosperity, success and wealth.

What do we have to do?

Want. This has already been discussed with the example of the new skirt. As long as a woman refuses to desire, her husband has nothing to give her. Is it hard? And you try! Glue dream collages, write wish lists, collect jars with dreams. The main thing is to write everything in a row, without criticism and assessment of practicality (where will I wear this later?)

Let. After all, it’s not enough to want a new skirt. You also need to afford to buy it. Especially if you don't have much money. And not only allow, but also not to bite yourself to death after this. And the main thing here is habit.

Save correctly. This doesn’t mean spending your husband’s entire salary on branded sandals and then hoping for a higher power. However, the proverbs “the miser pays twice” and “we are not rich enough to buy cheap things” also have their meaning. In addition, if you are infinitely satisfied with the purchase, then your husband will be satisfied. And he will understand that he needs to earn even more precisely in order to please you like this more often.

Make your dreams come true. If you dream of an iPhone, buy it! Let it be a used phone first. But this will be your wish fulfilled. A dream come true gives a lot of energy and inspiration. A used but desirable car, furniture on sale - there are always options. Then there will be more money. They will come again and again to fulfill your dreams.

Rented apartments of better quality (when you can no longer earn less than its cost), all kinds of electronic devices (phones, computers, laptops, cameras), and travel to different countries are very stimulating. Of course, it’s important not to get too carried away here.

Accept a man for who he is. You need to get rid of the idea that you know something better than a man, understand something, that you are smarter than him. Give him the freedom to be himself.

Appreciate him. Appreciating a man means respecting his strengths and being grateful to him for what he does for you. If at the moment you cannot identify a single quality for which you value him, refer to past experience. Remember how you met, why you liked him, what first attracted you to him. Perhaps there were some difficult circumstances in your life together that he bravely dealt with.

Admire a man. It's like a balm for male pride. Deep down in his soul, every man wants to see in a woman admiration for his abilities, talents, achievements, ideas, dreams, and also his body. Just as a woman needs love, a man needs admiration.

Accept your husband's authority. It’s difficult when a woman is in the position of a mother and knows everything better than him, and we can also tell him what he needs to do. Trust a man that he is able to make the right decision, even if it does not coincide with yours.

Let him be the leader. The role of leader, protector and breadwinner is a man's role, it is his right and his advantage. When you have 100% confidence inside that a man should feed the family, he will begin to feed it. By taking this position, you will not only give the man his role, but also satisfy his need to be needed.

When you begin to increase a man’s masculinity, he automatically begins to move forward, grow, he begins to succeed in everything, he begins to earn good money, and become successful.

Let him manage the finances. The husband is responsible for providing for the family. If a man stops earning money and does not want or cannot find a job for a long time, this is an alarming sign that the woman is responsible for providing for the family and the leading role. As a rule, a woman begins to fuss, help her husband look for work, nags him, and eventually takes on this responsibility and becomes the breadwinner.

What should a woman really do? Nothing! Accept him with love and believe that he can handle it, trust him, and wait for him to take on this responsibility.

However, this situation has its pitfalls. Unemployment should not become a chronic condition. Man is lazy by nature. If you have everything minimally necessary and the situation is calm, the motivation to work disappears. Therefore, clearly decide with your husband how long it is possible for one of the family members not to work in search of a suitable vacancy and what you will do if the necessary offer does not appear within the prescribed period.

Develop feminine qualities in yourself. If next to a man there is a woman who always talks about the past, complains all the time, condemns someone, is touchy, indecisive, not adapted to anything and is depressed, then the man next to him becomes irritable, pretentious, aggressive, insecure and unwilling to take responsibility.

Men are not biorobots who must solve all problems, earn money, buy apartments, and help around the house. Men are the same people. And they want love too. They want to be loved, not used. So that his inner world would be interesting and pleasant to someone.

Male opinion

It is interesting that men agree with women in almost everything regarding the above advice. They expect a woman to support him in all his endeavors, share his dreams, and praise him. They even agree that a woman should ask them for what she wants. Supposedly, requests stimulate action.

Men want women to be persistent and literally force them to solve some minor problem, after which they praise them half to death. And what’s also interesting is that a woman must maintain the pace that a man has gained, or rather not let him lose it. That is, do not encourage him to lie on the couch!

What do men disagree with women about, because it cannot be that the opinions of both sides coincide!

So the stronger sex believes that a man’s motivation, his inspiration for feats from a woman are increasingly beautiful words. Men believe that they achieve everything themselves and are able to motivate themselves.

At the same time, they do not discount the fact that, after getting married, for example, a man often becomes more successful in his career. The men explain everything, as usual, very simply, but interestingly and unexpectedly.

The main motivation is family

The main incentive for male success is children! As soon as a woman becomes pregnant and informs a man about this, his instinct as a breadwinner immediately kicks in - get as much food as possible. And the man begins to work hard. Move up the career ladder, take on a quick job at home, make great discoveries, or open your own car wash without any fuss.

According to one male psychologist, this, in fact, is all the inspiration on the part of a woman. Get pregnant, tell your husband about it - and that’s it!

Although no, not all. There is one more nuance. Everything is mutual in a family. That is, if a woman has stopped creating comfort in the house, which is her direct responsibility, then the man stops bringing money into the house, that is, he fails to cope with his direct responsibility. Or vice versa, he begins to bring in more money - she improves comfort. She improves comfort - it brings in more money.

However, all this applies to adults, mature people. That is, if a woman lives with an infantile man, then changes may not be expected.

And the conclusion from all of the above is this: in order to improve their well-being, a loving couple must have children. After all, nothing stimulates a man to be active more than offspring. And nothing makes his soul mate so feminine, filled with feminine energy (which, contrary to what men think, still serves as a source of inspiration for a man), and nothing makes a woman as beautiful and special as motherhood!

Every modern woman wants to be independent, but to have a wealthy man at her side, who also loves her to death, takes her to the islands, gives her cars, in general - organizes a decent standard of living. We are trying to figure out how much a man should earn in order for the average woman to feel good.

The question of how much every man who dreams of a beautiful woman and, as a result, a family should earn, worries each of us. We want, if not fur coats and expensive cars, then at least a quiet coexistence, without a frantic monthly search for “who to borrow from until payday.” In modern realities, when prices are rising by leaps and bounds, previously simple desires become luxuries, and the elements of a rich life remain somewhere at the level of unrealistic hopes.

Who doesn't want to live in abundance? Our post-Soviet consciousness confidently repeats to every self-respecting woman: the husband must support the family, and numerous modern magazines for those “who are for...”, TV series about successful and well-established people assure: a woman is created for a beautiful life, a man, therefore, is obliged to strew her with diamonds, bring her every evening after work, instead of milk and bread - fur coats, branded bags and other paraphernalia of luxury. Such confusion, generated by contradictory information, does not allow us to decide: so how much should a man earn so that we, the fairer sex, can live in peace?

One of my friends, a premium blonde, showing off indecently long and straight legs, likes to say that, they say, a true man should earn just enough so that a woman can afford, at a minimum, not to work at all, and, at a maximum, to travel all over the world. countries of the world, spend the night in five-star hotels and buy yourself the best. Note that a man who brings home a tidy sum should look like a cover model himself, which means investing not only in his beloved, but also in himself. According to rough estimates, it turns out that a “normal man” is simply obliged to replenish the family budget every month, by at least half a million. I think that's a good number. It’s hard to blame a girl who dreams of luxury; it’s another matter that finding a representative of the stronger sex who would manage to earn so much money, at the same time pay attention to his family, go to resorts twice a year with his beloved half and admire his wife from time to time - how It’s nice that she spends what she has accumulated on beauty salons, but alas, it’s almost impossible.

Most likely, unless of course you are Cinderella from a fairy tale, you will get an average guy with an average salary, that is, from forty to fifty thousand rubles, okay - somewhere they probably pay seventy, so you have a chance to grab "Fatter fish." But, on the other hand, this is not so bad, because if a man “walks” you, then he has the right to dictate his terms. Pay for all the entertainment and not have the right to even raise his voice at you? This is one of those fairy tales about princes and virtuous beauties, whose sincerity and purity so captivate the naive rich man that without any hesitation he throws millions at her feet. In life, unfortunately, this does not happen. Firstly, the richer a man is, the more carefully he throws away, well, because, you never know, tomorrow you decide to run away with your lover to the other side of the planet, and he has already thrown away, given away, re-registered and was left in splendid isolation and without money, but in - secondly, believe me, he has options for much more profitable investments. Another friend of mine, an exalted woman, decides about once a month to divorce her wealthy husband, packs up her things and leaves him in a taxi, for which, characteristically, she pays with his own money. Then she always comes back, because leaving after a scandal by taxi is somehow still more pleasant than by metro, and with her earnings, you can afford, in addition to public transport, at least a scooter. Every love that costs a lot of money has a downside.

So, no matter how much your beloved brings home every month, you always need to remember - it is quite possible that even these forty thousand will not last forever. Fortunately, most modern and emancipated women understand this perfectly well: love is love, and a million in your personal account has never hurt anyone, even if you never spend your savings, they will definitely provide you with peace of mind. Moreover, returning to the question, how much should he earn? He should earn so much that you never want to spend your reserves. Perhaps this point of view may seem cynical to some, however, no matter how sad it may sound, the truth remains the same: you can only count on yourself. But seriously, a man should earn just enough so that his woman doesn’t have to save two years to buy a new blouse, or handbag, or shoes, not to mention everything else.

Since childhood, of course, we have known about heaven in a hut and about happiness, which cannot be found in money. Life, however, does not agree with our well-bred parents in the Soviet country, because in a hut, to be honest, there is no paradise, and even the sweetest and most touching romantic howling under your windows with a guitar under his arm will seem to you after six months of living in a hut a monster, or a loser, which, in general, is absolutely equally annoying. As for “happiness is not in money,” there is also some difficulty here, it’s not in money, of course, it’s not in money, but I still want to eat, and I also want to go to the sea at least once every three years, and there is no escape from this. Of course, there is an option to earn money for your vacation and dresses yourself, although then a reasonable question arises: is there any point in taking a man with you on vacation, and in general, in fact, why do we need such a prince who is not able to buy a piece of sausage.

Men are right, women are mercantile creatures. But in fact, we just want to exist in comfort. Without castles, yachts and prohibitively expensive cars, but with comfort: with food, shopping and the sea; to be honest, this doesn’t require much money. However, there is still such a pleasure in the modern world as a separate budget. This honor fell to my share, although I lived with my man and his separate money in my apartment, I regularly paid for utilities, the Internet, bought groceries, paid for the dishes he broke, because “how can this be, we are a family, and you are you asking me for some tenth broken plate?!”, but he had his own money, which had nothing to do with me, it was saved up “for a common dream” and disappeared immediately after parting, along with, in fact, the dream.

It just so happens that a man, since he considers himself a man, should (it would be desirable, it would be nice, it would be nice) to be able to provide for his woman, if he cannot afford such luxury - there is no need to demand that his beloved live together , after all, you can go to the movies and cafes for a couple more years.

Today, the roles of men and women have become confused, responsibilities have become interchangeable, and rights are equal. But you can’t deceive the nature of a man and a woman, she doesn’t care what fashion reigns today, she doesn’t care that the world has suddenly decided to go crazy. Gender relations are still governed by the laws that have always reigned, from the moment God created man and woman.

A careerist woman, a gigolo man, a change of roles in family life - this will not surprise anyone. And yet, despite the fact that society seems to have become accustomed to this state of affairs, such relationships are not happy, no matter what anyone says.

Imagine a situation where a man and a woman started dating, fell in love with each other, and even planned to get married, but suddenly it turns out that the woman receives much more money than her lover. Of course, they discuss this, and the man assures her that there is nothing wrong with it, the main thing is that they both do what they love and make a profit. “What difference does it make whether you bring more money to the family or me,” any man who finds himself in such a situation will say, “it’s still the same budget, it’s the same.” And the woman, after thinking, will consider his arguments rational.

And so they get married. A year passes, then two. And the situation in their family is the same - the wife brings in much more money than the husband. But sooner or later problems will begin in such a family. If a man earns less than a woman, it hurts his pride. This degrades his dignity. This gives him the right to doubt his ability to protect and provide for his family. Doubt your masculinity, your strength. And a man, broken by such life circumstances, will not be able to develop and grow either in his own eyes or in the eyes of his wife.

What to do if a man earns less?

When people are blinded by love, when passion is boiling in their veins, to them who earns more seems petty and completely unimportant. The main thing is that they are together, that they love each other! But over time, when all the fervor subsides, this will play a huge role. First of all, for a man, and then for a woman.

A man realizes his “I” by performing masculine duties. To protect, provide everything necessary for his family, solve all problems, taking responsibility for himself - this is his task. And if a man earns less than his woman, whom he is called by fate to protect and provide, he begins to feel useless and inferior. At the energetic level, a woman who earns more than her man seems to be telling him: “I can cope without you, I will overcome all life’s difficulties.” In addition, she also fulfills her feminine duties, which have not been canceled. And it turns out that the man feels completely meaningless in her life. Useless.

There is a lot that can be said about the fact that now is a different time, that it doesn’t matter who gets how much. But the problem will still remain and will slowly destroy their family.

What could happen if a man starts earning significantly less?

A man will doubt his masculine strength and ability to support his family;
A man who does not respect himself cannot respect the woman he is with;
A man cannot love a woman whom he does not respect;
And then quarrels, disagreements, scandals begin in the family;
The man starts drinking;
Or finds himself a mistress. Treason begins;
Otherwise, divorce follows.

Here is a standard scheme that happens in those families that do not consider it important who earns how much.

You can ask me the question: “What to do if a man earns less?” The answer is obvious: “Start earning less.” If this means changing jobs, change. If you moderate your ardor, moderate it. In any case, if you want to be happy in your family life. For a man, the most important thing is to be loved, to feel cared for and to know that a woman simply cannot live without him. Then he feels like a hero, and he loves his wife and is ready to carry her in his arms. Because by giving these sensations, she awakens in him confidence in his courage, masculine strength, and will. And without this feeling, men do not know how to love. Alas.

What a man can achieve in life largely depends on a woman, says training author Larisa Renard. Now, in addition to classes, her psychological center has a book, using which you can independently direct your feminine energy in the right direction.

- He proposed to me! - Lenka looked around us. We fell silent in shock.

Once a month we gathered for “girls’ get-togethers” and discussed everything and nothing. During the fifteen years of our friendship, many things happened that required immediate discussion. By the age of 35, any woman has accumulated a lot of exciting events. Our five seemed to combine all the options for women's destinies.

I got married at 23 and stayed there for 12 years, during which time I moved from a room in a communal apartment to a luxurious country mansion. I enjoyed the status of a millionaire’s wife, studied my favorite psychology, taught trainings and various classes, and at the same time tried to be a good mother for my two sons.

Male Energy Levels

“Men have seven levels of energy, which correspond to their financial status,” I began to explain, drawing a picture.

On first level a man earns only food, that is, no more than 100 euros per month. This is the level of survival and poverty. There are homeless people and poor students there. This level corresponds to the number 3.

On second level a man has enough to buy a house and support his family, but he is, as a rule, a hired worker. His income does not exceed a thousand euros per month. This is the level of finding comfort. It corresponds to the number 7.

On third level a man has the energy to control other people. He can work in a management position or create his own business, albeit small, but generating a stable income. Typically, at this level, earnings can be up to 10,000 euros per month. This man’s fame usually does not extend beyond the city’s borders. The number 17 corresponds to this level.

On fourth level a man can control large financial flows and manage large teams. His personal income reaches 100,000 euros per month. This is the level of publicity and fame when money flows like a river. Such a man can be a top manager, the owner of his own company, or simply a famous person - an actor, singer, designer, stylist. At this level, he is already known nationwide. This level corresponds to the number 34.

On fifth level the man has enough energy and strength for politics. Having achieved it, he can become a governor, minister or oligarch. This is the level of international companies with thousands of subordinates. It corresponds to the number 72.

Sixth level- mental power of a man. This is the level of kings, emperors, presidents or those whose names are remembered for centuries - philosophers, writers, artists. A man who has reached the sixth level of power is one whose thoughts and ideas have long influenced humanity, who has left a noticeable mark on history. This level corresponds to the number 108.

The man who achieved seventh level is someone for whom the spirit has become more important than worldly problems. This level is the spiritual teachers of humanity, and the number 118 corresponds to it.

“On average, it takes a man about three years to move from one level to another. Someone can make a breakthrough in a year, someone in seven years, and someone remains at the same level,” I finished.

“My husband is still on the second,” Zhenya concluded.

“And mine,” Nastya sighed. — What determines a man’s level and what are these strange numbers? - she became interested.

The main thing is love, the rest can be learned

- The numbers correspond to a certain level of energy of a man, what flows of money and power he is able to hold. The more energy a person has, the greater his level of influence, the more money he has and the higher his level of power.

Money is directed, structured sexual and vital energy. But female energy exists in its pure form. There is a lot of it, but it is chaotic. A woman is a source of energy that lifts a man to reveal his potential.

A woman gives a man her energy, and he turns it into money, giving it structure through his center of will. The more energy a woman has, the more opportunities she can give a man. Sometimes a woman has a huge resource of energy, given to her by nature or developed, but if a man has a weak center of will, he will not be able to turn this energy into money. And vice versa - a man can have a very strong volitional center, but if a woman has wasted her energy or gone into the masculine, then the man has nothing to transform into cash flow.

“So,” Lenka shook her head, listening to my explanations, “should I get married or not?”

“Choose love, everything else can be created,” I answered.

- You won’t be satisfied with promises! I need a detailed action plan. I finally found the man of my dreams, and he is as poor as a paper rat.

“Well, he’s not that poor,” Zhenya said indignantly. - By the way, the five of us live on sixty thousand.

“The three of us are worth a hundred,” Nastya sighed, “but the trouble is that I earn it, and I’m incredibly tired of it.”

“So you think,” Lenka summed up my theoretical calculations, “that with the right woman, any man can become successful and rich.”

- Yes, if there is love, passion, faith in a man, support, inspiration, etc. Then money is a matter of time, desire, knowledge and practice.

- Are you saying that you know how to make your husband a millionaire and you can teach us this? — Zhenya looked at me questioningly. - After all, you’ve already done yours!

“Yes,” I nodded. “Although I just helped him become what he wanted and was able to become!” A woman helps a man to unlock his potential, strengthens and fills him. A Forbes magazine study was recently published,” I continued. “They interviewed ten billionaires and several dozen more multimillionaires to find out what they had in common. It turned out that there were only three points.

First. They are not afraid of defeats, learning valuable lessons from them. One of the billionaires made a billion during the IT boom. When his project failed, he lost everything, but did not lose heart. Now he has half a billion again. This is about the question of masculine qualities and a strong strong-willed center,” I added.

- Second. They are always looking for new, innovative sources of income, using their talents and strengths. The owner of a chain of gas stations who thought of selling snacks at them was considered an eccentric. And now he is a multi-billionaire. This speaks of his sexual and creative potential,” I voiced my vision.

“And most importantly,” I paused, looking around at my girlfriends, “a successful marriage!” A wife should support her husband and believe in him. This is the main thing, according to all the richest people in the world! — I finished pathetically and continued without pathos: “Which is quite understandable.”

“Okay, I’m ready to try to invest my energy in Ruslan,” Lenka suggested. - Where do we get it from?

Comment on the article "How to make a man earn more, or Why you need a wife"

noble brad: “how to make a man earn more.” Answer: “Make money yourself!”

I haven’t read how it gets hot, but I condemn it. Because making your husband earn more is one challenge. How to make sure that the husband shares this money with his wife is another task that is not always feasible.

Total 15 messages .