Compatibility tests. Test for two: will your relationship last? Test are we a good couple?
: Reading time:
6 questions with which the experienced family psychologist Ilyina Elena Anatolyevna begins the session.
Over 7 years of working with couples, I understood what questions to ask at the first meeting. It immediately becomes clear to me and my clients how strong, healthy this relationship is and what needs to be worked on.
Answer the questions “yes”, “yes, but I would like more” and “no”. Ideally, both partners write down their answers and compare them—an exercise I start with almost every couple.
Couple test
1. Do you feel that your partner respects you?
Your partner listens to your opinion and asks what you want? Do you two really make joint decisions as equals?
2. Do you receive positive emotions from your partner?
Do you get enough praise and compliments from your partner? Do you receive enough affection, tenderness, care?
3. Is there intimacy between you (including sex) that satisfies you?
Intimacy is not only sexual intercourse, it is an emotional background between two people:
- the feeling that I am desired when I pass by a partner
- touch
- views
- kisses
- messages throughout the day: I love you, I want you, I miss you, you’re the best
4. Is there mutual assistance and mutual support in these relationships?
Will your partner understand and support if you are having difficulties? At work, with parents, children, with health, with a girlfriend (boyfriend)?
5. Have you agreed on the money?
Have you divided the budget or just don’t pay attention to it (both are comfortable)? Or constantly quarrel over finances:
- because someone is not working
- doesn't earn enough
- spends a lot
- doesn’t want to keep a budget and save money
- does not invest in purchases that both need
6. Do you and your partner have common interests?
Interests do not have to coincide one hundred percent. In a strong relationship, there are one or more things that are fun to do together:
- watch films and discuss the plot or actors
- walk in the park or shopping center
- gossip about friends or passers-by
- discover new countries or lie on the sea
What to do with the answers
If you answered “yes” to all questions in the couples test, everything is fine. Make sure your partner is happy with everything too.
At least one “no” or an uncertain “yes” is a reason to start working on the relationship. Talk to your partner and compare answers. If you can’t talk and you can’t hear each other, trust a specialist. A family psychologist will “build bridges” and translate to your partner what you are saying (and vice versa). In my practice, this solves all problems in every second couple.
The more “no” in the test results for two, the less positive things connect you with your partner. If all the answers are “no,” think about why you ended up in this relationship? How did you feel when you met? Where did it go?
This test for two is the first stage. You realized the problem and tried to formulate it. Then there are three options:
- Put off solving the problem until later
- Try to decide on your own, talk
- Seek help from a specialist
Each has its own advantages and disadvantages. But if there is something good in your relationship, don't wait for it to disappear or get drowned in quarrels. Better make an appointment with a family therapist.
The one question that keeps women up the most in the middle of the night is: Are we really meant to be together? We'll always be together? Are we soulmates destined for eternal love? Or will he break my heart?
Everyone wants to find true love, but it's not that easy. As they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. If you're tired of frogs and are ready to move into the prince stage of your dating life, a love compatibility test can help. This will help you determine what you are really looking for in a potential partner. Once you know what you are looking for, you will be one step closer to finding true love. Then you can stop kissing frogs and move in with a prince or princess.
If you are in love with someone and you want to test your Compatibility with that person, online compatibility tests are what you might need. These compatibility tests clarify all the questions that may arise in your mind regarding how compatible your relationship with your partner is in the future. If your compatibility quotient does not turn out to be good, you can analyze yourself and take steps to make the relationship better between you and your partner. Love tests are important because they give you an idea of whether the person you have chosen as a partner is suitable for you. These tests explain the state of your relationship with your partner and provide a detailed analysis of what it might be like in the future.
Test game for two lovers
Want to test your feelings? Take our test
Rules and conditions of the game - test
The lovers answer the questions one by one. If the answer is affirmative, then you can move on to the next question, and if it is negative, you skip the move. If you are unable to answer either “yes” or “no,” then you miss your turn twice. The game ends the moment one of the players answers all the questions.
To take the test more honestly, answer on a separate piece of paper without showing each other your answers. Have one of you read the questions out loud, also naming their numbers. Agree how much time is allotted for the answer, for example, 30 seconds.
You can also play in pairs, but in this case the girl and the boy must find a compromise answer.
Questions:
1. Do you prefer to trust him (her) with only small troubles? (yes, no)2. Are lovers always a little crazy? (yes, no)3. If you didn’t like a friend’s gift, should you say so? (yes, no)4. The secret to your couple's stability is strong love? (yes, no)5. If a stranger meets you in a crowd, will he understand that you are in love? (yes, no)6. Are you the center of each other's interests? (yes, no)7. Is love best made in bed? (yes, no)8. Have most of your friend's friends become your friends? (yes, no)9. Are you able to appreciate the irony and humor of your friend (girlfriend)? (yes, no)10. Do you tell little lies from time to time to avoid unnecessary conflicts? (yes, no)11. Do you listen to your friend’s advice when buying things or clothes? (yes, no)12. Are you able to appreciate your friend's small sacrifices? (yes, no)13. Do you think that going on vacation separately means emphasizing your independence? (yes, no)14. Do you think love alone is enough for happiness? (yes, no)15. For a woman, the home is the throne from which she rules the world. Is it so? (yes, no)16. The main thing in life is mutual understanding. Do you agree? (yes, no)17. Do you lose interest in your partner immediately after sexual intercourse? (yes, no)18. Have you ever done something to your partner that you would have condemned if it had happened to you? (yes, no)19. The life of a couple is a constant search for agreement, and not defending one’s own rightness. What do you think? (yes, no)20. If your partner is criticized in front of you, will you stand up for him? (yes, no)21. Do you accept the idea that your partner is keeping in touch with friends you don't know? (yes, no)22. Is your loved one a part of yourself? (Not really)
Let's summarize:
1. You finished the game at the same time and all your answers matched. Your couple matches the classic models - Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde. It looks like you won the main prize in the love lottery. But your happiness and harmony can become a source of envy.
2. At the finish line you are separated by one or two points. You certainly love each other, but your views on love are different. Your love will know ups and downs. And some problems can test a relationship. In general, life will correspond to the African proverb: love is like rain, and rare drops can stir up the river.
3. The difference at the finish line is from three to five points. It seems that you do not have any special illusions of a sentimental nature. But overall, you are satisfied with the relationship, although the feeling of “seventh heaven” has passed. At least if you decide to break up, it will happen without drama.
4. The difference is more than five points. Conflicts are inevitable, and therefore it is better not to drive them inside. Most likely, any argument you have turns into a mutual demonstration of strength and a form of self-affirmation. But don't forget that each of you has the right to relax. Advice: bury the hatchet and take a break in your relationship. This manner of communication is also part of the relationship within a couple.
Test “How well does your couple know each other”
What do you know about your girlfriend? What does your girlfriend know about you? With the help of our test, you will find out the frighteningly or, on the contrary, encouragingly accurate answer to these two questions.
This test is not only a great way to find out what you really know about each other, but also a great excuse to get to know each other better!
Even if you and your partner raised three children together (by the way, whose children are these?), it’s not a fact that you know each other’s habits well. But without this knowledge, relationships will never be as productive and happy as possible, says Dr. John Gottman, author of Seven Principles That Make Marriages Work. From this book we borrowed a test that we recommend that all couples take.
How the test works
You will need five sheets of paper and two pencils. Okay, from one sheet - it's extra - make a paper boat. And pencils can be replaced with pens or, who knows, with felt-tip pens. You will take the test one by one. One asks a question out loud, both silently write down the answer, without looking at each other’s papers. For example, you ask a girl: “What am I most afraid of?” She writes down her answer: “Giant spiders with tentacles and lights.” Meanwhile, you write down your correct version: “Your mother.” And so you report on all twenty-five questions. Then turn the papers over and set them aside.
Take the next two pieces of paper and carry out the same procedure, but with the girl as the defendant. She asks, “What am I most afraid of?” You silently write down: “Your mother.” The girl silently writes down: “My mother.” And so on for all questions.
Having finished questioning each other, turn over the pieces of paper and compare the results (but first, of course, be horrified by the answers). Count the number of exact matches. Precise in the semantic meaning, and not in the form of the statement. For example, if when asked about your hobby you answered “badminton”, and the girl answered “a ridiculous game with a net, rackets and such funny balls in skirts” - this is still a coincidence. Counts. For each correct answer - 1 point.
Questions
1. My favorite dessert
2. What is my shoe size?
3. What am I most afraid of?
4. How old is my mother?
5. What is my blood type?
6. What turns me on sexually?
7. Name my two closest friends
8. Do I have a hobby? Which?
9. What will be the first thing I take away from a fire, besides you, documents and pets?
10. My favorite movie
11. My most unpleasant childhood memory
12. What time of day do I like to have sex most?
13. How do I prefer to spend my evenings?
14. How do I want to be buried?
15. The dish I can’t live without
16. What gift would I like best?
17. What food do I hate?
18. My favorite music group
19. What kind of coffee do I prefer?
20. What club did I attend as a child?
21. What literary genre do I like?
22. What do I want to do before I die?
23. My favorite weather?
24. Continue the phrase “You hate it when I...”
25. Do I have allergies?
results
How many points did you score?
0-4
You are very far from each other
How often do you communicate? Perhaps we should take a break from watching TV shows together and pay attention to each other. Although, with all due respect to Dr. Gottman, what can bring you closer together than watching the series together? And anyway, what else do you need from a relationship?
5-11
Greetings, strong middle peasants!
You know just enough about each other to sleep peacefully and not embarrass yourself at a family dinner by confusing the girl’s mother with her great aunt. You certainly can’t be called strangers. But you still have an amazing, full of discoveries, magical path of getting to know each other ahead of you. Walk carefully.
12-17
Your relationship is enviable!
And this is probably what your friends are doing, once again watching your girlfriend serve you creme brulee, although you haven’t even had time to say “cream.” But even in this kingdom of mutual understanding and harmony there is a subtle point: it is necessary to ensure the protection of your personal space. In addition, you can periodically surprise your partner by throwing aside the pan of creme brulee and demanding Napoleon cake.
18+
You are very, very, close
A similar degree of intimacy occurs among people who have lived together for decades. Maybe you’ll stop shocking the nursing home and get legally married to your permanent grandmother? It is obvious that you have every chance of a happy life until the grave.
http://www.vseodetyah.com/article.html?id=276&menu=woman
http://www.maximonline.ru/longreads/tests/_article/closeness/
Gemini - Gemini
Very good. But complications may arise due to the fact that a pair of “twins” that are closed to each other often fall out of the surrounding world and do not develop individually.
Gemini - Single
An unsuccessful combination in which partners have opposite demands on each other. But not everything is hopeless: the stubborn “twin” has a chance to firmly bind the “loner” to himself.
Twin - Parent
Not bad. The “twin” tolerates the control and guardianship of the “parent” more easily than other types, and the “parent” often willingly allows the obedient “twin” to invade his personal space.
Gemini - Child
Acceptable option. The “Gemini” is allowed to invade the hidden recesses of the “child’s” soul, since the “child” perceives this as a manifestation of self-love.
Twin - Hamster
The problem is not only that the “hamster” is often jealous of his independence. “Twin” will also not be satisfied with the unity of souls that the “hamster” can somehow give out.
Gemini - Tiger
“Tiger” will be quite happy, but “twin” will have a hard time.
Loner - Loner
A relationship that seems so harmonious, however, runs the risk of being broken due to the fact that this couple will have minimal common affairs, interests and goals.
Single - Parent
One of the worst combinations, almost inevitably leading to fiasco: the “loner” does not tolerate control, and the “parent” only sees the meaning of the relationship in such control.
Single - Child
The “child” is more focused on himself than on his partner. And if the “loner” shows enough care towards the “child”, he will be able to maintain his freedom.
Loner - Hamster
Of course, this couple will not make Romeo and Juliet, but in an even and friendly disregard for each other they will be able to live a long and happy life together.
Loner - Tiger
Badly. The aggressive demands of the “tiger” are sometimes more severe than the intrusive care of the “parent”. It will be difficult for a “loner” to withstand it.
Parent - Parent
A very good combination. Partners will easily understand each other's desires, and if they are wise enough to accept each other's control, then everything will be fine.
Parent - Child
The control of the “parent” in such a couple often turns into mania, and the “child” risks becoming a hysterical creature who does not know what he wants, but is always dissatisfied with everything.
Parent - Hamster
As long as there are no shocks, this couple can coexist peacefully. But in difficult situations, the “parent” will have to either cope with the problem himself or wag the hamster’s tail.
Parent - Tiger
It's difficult, but it's possible. As long as the “parent” perceives “tiger” attacks as childish pranks, everything will be more or less tolerable.
Child - Child
Hopelessly. The beauty of this union, perhaps, is only in its programmed short duration. “Children” do not know how to care for others and do not know how to live without such care.
Baby - Hamster
These egoists can coexist - provided they have a decent annual income, health and other everyday goods that will help the “hamster” pretend to be an average nanny.
Child - Tiger
"Child" is the best prey for the "tiger". But the “tigers” are famous for anything but indifference to their victims, so the “child” will also receive the attention he seeks.
Hamster - Hamster
By jointly avoiding unpleasant situations and simultaneously hiding from any painful heroism in their cozy hole, hamsters can show the world the happiest couple of spouses.
Hamster - Tiger
Nothing will work out. Concern for his own safety will not allow the “hamster” to spend the best years of his life cohabiting with the “tiger”.
Tiger - Tiger
Amazing. True, it is unlikely that such a couple can do anything other than endlessly sort things out. But then they will reach maximum heights!
For each answer “a” give yourself 5 points, for answer “b” - 0 points. It is advisable that the man and woman answer the questions independently of each other.
1. In your opinion, should spouses vacation together?
a) Yes; b) No.
2. The purpose of marriage is children and their upbringing?
a) Yes; b) No.
3. Should children be taught to be independent as early as possible?
a) Yes; b) No.
4. Is it true that it is not necessary to tell each other about everything?
a) Yes; b) No.
5. Should children always obey their parents?
a) Yes; b) No.
6. Did peace and harmony reign in your parents’ family?
a) Yes; b) No.
7. Do you share the opinion that after marriage, spouses should not communicate with old acquaintances of the opposite sex?
a) Yes; b) No.
8. Do you like discos, parties, meetings of friends?
a) Yes; b) No.
9. Should parents interfere as little as possible in the affairs of their grown children?
a) Yes; b) No.
10. Is understanding your partner completely important to you?
a) Yes; b) No.
11. In your opinion, children should understand from a young age how hard it is to get money?
a) Yes; b) No.
12. Can a husband and wife have “separate” acquaintances?
a) Yes; b) No.
13. Should parents be an ideal, a model for their children?
a) Yes; b) No.
14. The main thing in marriage is material well-being?
a) Yes; b) No.
15. Do you have a good relationship with your mother (question for men); with father (question for a girl)?
a) Yes; b) No.
16. Should children be raised strictly?
a) Yes; b) No.
Add up your scores and see your findings
If the difference between you and your partner was 25 points or less. Your union will most likely be successful. At least all the prerequisites for this are there. We hope that you will be able to reveal new qualities in each other, getting closer and closer day after day.
The difference is 30-55 points. You may have problems due to some differences in views. But, as you know, serious relationships are impossible without compromises. If you learn to give in and calmly listen to other people's opinions, your relationship can be quite successful. But concessions must be reasonable.
Difference of 60 or more points- you probably have different ideas about life and family. You both have to give up a lot. Love is not just about sighing on a bench and walking in the moonlight. Try to be more tolerant of each other.
