What does a godmother need to know about a child's baptism? Godfather: duties at baptism and functions in Orthodoxy
Being a godmother is a great honor, but also a great responsibility, because she has to become the spiritual mentor of her godson or goddaughter. If your loved ones have given you such an honor, it means they express special trust in you and hope that you will fulfill this role with dignity.
However, keep in mind that in addition to performing the duties of a godmother at baptism, you will later have to instruct your godson in matters of the Christian faith, take him to communion, and set an example of behavior for him.
As for preparing for baptism, this stage takes the godmother several days. What does the godmother do during baptism? What does she need to know about the ritual of this sacrament? We will answer these and some other questions.
According to the church charter, the godmother cannot be the child’s mother, a nun, an unbeliever or an unbaptized woman. Not only the mother’s friend, but also one of the relatives, for example, the baby’s grandmother or aunt, can act as a godmother. However, the adoptive mother cannot serve as a godmother either during or after the baptism.
How to prepare a godmother for the baptism ceremony
Preparations for baptism for the godmother begin several days before this ceremony. She, like her godfather, needs to fast for three days, and then confess and receive communion.
You also need to talk with the priest, who will tell you in detail what the godmother needs to know about this sacrament and what she will have to do during the baptismal ceremony.
As a rule, the duties of a godmother in preparation for baptism include knowing by heart some of the prayers that will need to be read during this ceremony: “Creed”, “Our Father”, “Hail to the Virgin Mary”, “Heavenly King”, etc.
They express the essence of faith, help to cleanse oneself from sin and gain strength to overcome obstacles on the path of life. Although in some parishes knowledge of these prayers is not required: during the ceremony, the godparents will only need to repeat some phrases after the priest.
The godmother's preparation for the baptismal ceremony does not end there. She will need to purchase the things necessary for this ceremony and know what actions she will have to perform during the ceremony. However, let's talk about everything in order.
What else does a godmother need to know about the rules for baptizing a child? You should dress modestly for a christening. You cannot come to the temple in trousers, and the skirt must be below the knees. Women's heads in an Orthodox church must be covered with a scarf.
What should a godmother do during a baptism? The ritual consists of the rite of catechumen (reading special prayers over the child), his renunciation of Satan and union with Christ, as well as the confession of the Orthodox faith. The godparents say the appropriate words for the baby on his behalf, renouncing the unclean spirit and promising to remain faithful to the Lord.
If a girl is being baptized, then the godmother should hold her in her arms during the baptism ceremony; if the ceremony is being performed by a boy, then the godfather. Although this can also be done by one of the godparents who is better acquainted with the baby and next to whom the child feels more comfortable.
However, in any case, the godmother must be well acquainted with the child in order to maintain emotional contact with the baby and be able to calm him down if he cries.
After this, as a child is baptized, immersing him three times in water in the font and reading prayers at the same time, the godmother must take him in her arms. To do this you will need a kryzhma - a white towel. According to superstitions, drops from a baby’s face cannot be wiped off so that his life is happy.
Then the child is put on a cross (if it was not purchased in a church, it will need to be consecrated in advance) and a baptismal outfit - a shirt to the toes for a boy and a dress for a girl. The baby will also need a cap or scarf.
Even during preparation for baptism, the godmother is obliged to choose these things for the child. In the old days, women sewed them themselves, but nowadays baptismal attire and kryzhma can be bought in a store or church shop.
These things are not washed after christening and are not used for their intended purpose. It is recommended to keep them throughout a person’s life, as they serve as amulets, helping him avoid various troubles and diseases.
What else does a godmother need to do when baptizing a child? After initiation into the font, the godparents and the priest walk around it three times with the baby as a sign of spiritual joy from the union of a new member of the Church of Christ with the Savior for eternal life.
After the ritual of anointing, when parts of the child’s body are anointed with myrrh and prayers are read, the priest washes the myrrh with a special sponge moistened with holy water.
Then the priest lightly trims the child’s hair on four sides, which is folded onto a wax cake and lowered into the font, which symbolizes submission to God and sacrifice in gratitude for the beginning of spiritual life.
(The godmother will need a small bag in which to place the baby's cut hair, which can then also be stored with the towel and shirt.)
After this, the priest reads prayers for the child and his godparents, followed by churching. The priest carries the baby around the temple. If it is a boy, then he is brought into the altar. At the end of the ritual, the child is applied to one of the icons of the Savior and to the icon of the Mother of God, and then given to the parents.
In addition to the things necessary for the ceremony, the godmother can give the baby an icon with the image of his patron saint, a “measured icon”, a children’s Bible, a prayer book or items that do not have a church focus (clothes, shoes, toys, etc.), and also assist his parents in organizing a festive feast on the occasion of the christening.
We have already told you what the godmother has to know and do during the baptism ceremony of the child. But your mission doesn't end there. As already mentioned, you will need to be involved in the life of your godson and beyond.
You will attend church with your child if his parents are unable to do so due to illness or absence. You will need to promote the spiritual growth of your godson, give him advice in difficult life situations. In a word, take care of him along with his parents, because now you are responsible for the new member of the Christian church before God.
The baptized person is obliged to instruct him in the rules of Christian life.
Baptism of an infant is performed by the recipients, who have the sacred duty to teach children the true faith and help them become worthy members of Christ.
After the baby is immersed in the baptismal font, the godfather receives him from the hands of the priest. Hence the Slavic name - receiver. Thus, he takes upon himself the responsibility for life to raise the child in the Orthodox spirit, and the answer for this upbringing will be given at the Last Judgment.
During the Baptism of infants, the recipients recite (confess) the Creed in their place, pronounce vows and take care of teaching faith and morality to those received by them (;,).
The custom of having a recipient at Baptism dates back to the most ancient Apostolic Tradition.
The presence of two receivers is a Russian tradition. According to the rules of the Church, one godfather is enough: a godfather for a boy and a godmother for a girl. In practice, gender mismatch is tolerated.
In the Sacrament of Baptism, the godparents promise God to bring the baby to Him. It's important to remember this.
Who can be godfather
– The godfather (father) must be an Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be from the Church (who does not regularly receive communion), a representative of another religion, or an atheist. The recipient is required not only to know and read it at Baptism, but also to spiritually educate the godson in the future, and daily prayer for him.
– The godfather must be a churchgoer, ready to regularly take his godson to church and raise him in the Christian faith.
– After the Sacrament of Baptism has been performed, the godfather cannot be changed, even if he has gone missing or fallen from the faith.
– Pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents to both boys and girls.
– The father and mother of a child cannot be godparents, and a husband and wife cannot be godparents for one child; other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.
– A person should only have one godparent. According to , only one recipient is considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person. The presence of a second godfather is an unwritten, albeit ancient, custom of the Church.
– Monks and nuns are not allowed to be ordained.
– The rite of the Sacrament of Baptism assumes the presence of recipients in person during its celebration. As a last resort, infant baptism is allowed even without godparents, then the priest himself is considered godfather.
– Marriages between the baptized person and the recipient are prohibited: the recipient cannot marry his spiritual daughter, and the godfather cannot marry the widowed mother of his spiritual daughter ().
It is reckless to invite a non-church person to be godparents: what can someone who does not know the subject teach? It’s like choosing a guide on a dangerous journey, where the price at stake is life (in our case, Eternal), a rogue who does not know the route.
It is also unreasonable for a church person to take vows before God to raise a child in the Christian faith, whose parents are not only outside the Church, but also do not intend to become a church member, to instill their child in Christ the Savior.
If you are invited to be a foster parent by parents who are not only not against baptizing a child, but are themselves ready to become members of the church community, then it is reasonable, before taking your own vows, to make your parents vow to fulfill the Commandments, to pray daily for their children, come to church with them, try to give them communion weekly. Ideally, it would be good to advise parents to go to Sunday school or catechesis classes: after a couple of classes it will be clear whether they are serious about spiritual life, or whether they view Baptism as a magical rite.
According to the ancient church rule, during the Baptism of infants, only one recipient was considered necessary - a man for a male person being baptized or a woman for a female person (Great Trebnik, Chapter 5, “see”). The rule about “being one recipient at Baptism” belonged to the first centuries of Christianity and was strictly observed in the Eastern and Western Churches until the 9th century. In our time, the custom of having two godparents at Baptism has become widespread: the godfather and the godmother.
Only Orthodox recipients or recipients have ecclesiastical significance. Their names are remembered in prayers and included in certificates of Baptism. Receiver " represents the face of the person being baptized and makes vows to God for him, makes, confesses the symbol and is obliged to instruct the adopted son in the faith and law of God, which neither an ignoramus in the faith nor a non-believer can do"(Book on the positions of parish elders, 80).
According to the practice of the ancient Church, just as non-Christians are never allowed to adopt children, it is also indecent for an Orthodox Christian to be the foster child of non-Christian parents, except in those cases when the children are baptized into the Orthodox faith. The canons of the Church also do not provide for such a case as participation in baptism as a recipient of a person.
Insane people, completely ignorant of the faith, as well as criminals, obvious sinners, and those who came to church drunk, cannot be recipients. For example, those who, due to negligence, have not attended confession and Holy Communion for a long time cannot give guidance and edification in life to their godchildren. Minors (under 14 years of age) cannot be recipients, since they are still incapable of teaching and are not firm in their understanding of the faith and power of the Sacrament (except in those cases when it is completely impossible to have an adult recipient).
Ancient Russia did not know such a rule that would eliminate monks from succession. It is known that the godfathers of our Russian grand ducal and royal children were mostly monks. Only later were monks prohibited from succession because it involves the monk in communication with the world (Nomocanon at the Great Trebnik). Parents cannot be recipients of their own children from the baptismal font. It is inconvenient for a woman who is in normal purification to be a recipient. In such cases, you can postpone Baptism or invite another recipient.
Church rules do not prohibit siblings, father and daughter, or mother and son from being the adoptive parents of the same baby. Currently, priests do not allow husband and wife to share the same child. In order to prevent violations of existing rules regarding godparents, the priest usually learns in advance from parents who they want to have as godparents for their children.
Prayers for godchildren
Prayer for children and godchildren, father
Sweetest Jesus! God of my heart! You gave me children according to the flesh, they are Yours according to your soul. You redeemed both my soul and theirs with Your priceless Blood. For the sake of Your Divine Blood, I beg You, my sweetest Savior, with Your grace touch the hearts of my children (names) and my godchildren (names), protect them with Your Divine fear, keep them from bad inclinations and habits, direct them to the bright path of life, truth and of good. Decorate their lives with everything good and saving, arrange their fate as You yourself want and save their souls with their own destinies! Lord, God of our fathers! Give to my children (names) and godchildren (names) a right heart to keep Your commandments, Your revelations and Your statutes. And do it all! Amen.
On raising children as good Christians: Parents' prayer to the Lord God
God, our merciful and heavenly Father!
Have mercy on our children (names) and godchildren (names), for whom we humbly pray to You and whom we entrust to Your care and protection.
Put strong faith in them, teach them to revere You and deign them to deeply love You, our Creator and Savior.
Guide them, God, on the path of truth and goodness, so that they do everything for the glory of Your name.
Teach them to live piously and virtuously, to be good Christians and useful people.
Give them mental and physical health and success in their work.
Deliver them from the cunning machinations of the devil, from numerous temptations, from evil passions and from all wicked and disorderly people.
For the sake of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, through the prayers of His Most Pure Mother and all the saints, lead them to the quiet haven of Your eternal Kingdom, so that they, along with all the righteous, will always thank You with Your only begotten Son and Your life-giving Spirit.
Amen.
Prayer to the Lord God, composed by the venerable
Lord, You are the only One who weighs everything, who is able to do everything, and who wants to save everyone and come to the mind of Truth. Enlighten my children (names) with the knowledge of Thy truth and Thy Holy will, strengthen them to walk according to Thy commandments and have mercy on me, a sinner.
Amen.
Merciful Lord, Jesus Christ, I entrust to You my children whom You have given to me, fulfill my prayer.
I ask You, Lord, save them in the ways that You Yourself know. Save them from vices, evil, pride, and let nothing that is contrary to You touch their souls. But grant them faith, love and hope for salvation, and may their life path be holy and blameless before God.
Bless them, Lord, may they strive every minute of their lives to fulfill Your Holy will, so that You, Lord, may always abide with them by Your Holy Spirit.
Lord, teach them to pray to You, so that prayer may be their support, joy in sorrow and consolation of their life, and so that we, their parents, may be saved by their prayer.
May Your angels always protect them.
May my children be sensitive to the grief of their neighbors, and may they fulfill Your commandment of love. And if they sin, then grant them, Lord, to bring repentance to You, and You, in Your ineffable mercy, forgive them.
When their earthly life ends, then take them to Your Heavenly Abodes, where let them lead with them other Your chosen servants.
Through the prayers of Your Most Pure Mother, Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary and Your saints (all holy families are listed), Lord, have mercy on us, as You are glorified with Your Beginningless Son and with Your Most Holy and Good and Life-giving Spirit, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages.
Amen.
Does it really teach that marriage between godparents is inadmissible according to Article 211 of the Nomocanon?
Obstacles to marriage and adoption at baptism. Grigorovsky S.P. Publishing Council of the Russian Orthodox Church. 2007. With the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II. pp. 49-51. Quote from there:
« At present, Article 211 of the Nomocanon [which states the inadmissibility of marriage between recipients] has no practical significance and should be considered abolished... Since during baptism it is enough to have one recipient or one recipient, depending on the gender of the person being baptized, there is no reason to consider the recipients to be in any spiritual relationship and therefore prohibit them from marrying each other».
Prof. Pavlov, in his course on Church law, comments on the problem of spiritual kinship between the recipient and the recipient of one child and the marriage between them:
“...several rules of apocryphal origin and strange content (for example, rule 211, prohibiting a husband and wife from being the adoptive parents of the same baby, on pain of being separated from their marital cohabitation). Already in the first years of its existence, the Holy Synod began to regard such rules with great doubt and often made decisions directly contrary to them, especially in matters of marriage.”
In December 2017, the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church adopted a document stating: “ Marriages between recipients can be performed with the blessing of the diocesan bishop (taking into account the decree of the Holy Synod of December 31, 1837)".
Can pregnant and unmarried women become godparents?
Pregnant and unmarried women can be godparents; there are no canonical prohibitions against this. All prohibitions relate exclusively to dense folk superstitions and have no force for Christians.
Godparents: who can become a godparent? What do godmothers and godfathers need to know? How many godchildren can you have? The answers are in the article!
Briefly:
- The godfather, or godfather, must be Orthodox Christian. A godfather cannot be a Catholic, a Muslim, or a very good atheist, because main responsibility godfather - to help the child grow in the Orthodox faith.
- There must be a godfather church man, ready to regularly take his godson to church and monitor his Christian upbringing.
- After baptism has been performed, godfather cannot be changed, but if the godfather has changed greatly for the worse, the godson and his family should pray for him.
- Pregnant and unmarried women CAN to be godparents of both boys and girls - do not listen to superstitious fears!
- Godparents the child's father and mother cannot be, and husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. other relatives - grandmothers, aunts and even older brothers and sisters can be godparents.
Many of us were baptized in infancy and no longer remember how it happened. And then one day we are invited to become a godmother or godfather, or perhaps even more joyfully - our own child is born. Then we think once again about what the Sacrament of Baptism is, whether we can become godparents to someone and how we can choose godparents for our child.
Answers from Rev. Maxim Kozlov on questions about the responsibilities of godparents from the “Tatiana’s Day” website.
– I was invited to become godfather. What will I have to do?
– Being a godfather is both an honor and responsibility.
Godmothers and fathers, participating in the Sacrament, take responsibility for the little member of the Church, so they must be Orthodox people. Godparents, of course, should be a person who also has some experience of church life and will help the parents raise the baby in faith, piety and purity.
During the celebration of the Sacrament over the baby, the godfather (of the same gender as the child) will hold him in his arms, pronounce on his behalf the Creed and vows of renunciation of Satan and union with Christ. Read more about the procedure for performing Baptism.
The main thing in which the godfather can and should help and in which he undertakes an obligation is not only to be present at Baptism, but also then to help the one received from the font to grow, strengthen in church life, and in no case limit your Christianity only to the fact of Baptism. According to the teachings of the Church, for the way we took care of fulfilling these duties, we will be held accountable on the day of the last judgment, just as for the upbringing of our own children. Therefore, of course, the responsibility is very, very great.
– What should I give to my godson?
– Of course, you can give your godson a cross and a chain, and it doesn’t matter what they are made of; the main thing is that the cross be of the traditional form accepted in the Orthodox Church.
In the old days, there was a traditional church gift for christening - a silver spoon, which was called a “tooth gift”; it was the first spoon that was used when feeding a child, when he began to eat from a spoon.
– How can I choose godparents for my child?
– Firstly, godparents must be baptized, church-going Orthodox Christians.
The main thing is that the criterion for your choice of godfather or godmother is whether this person will subsequently be able to help you in a good, Christian upbringing received from the font, and not just in practical circumstances. And, of course, an important criterion should be the degree of our acquaintance and simply the friendliness of our relationship. Think about whether the godparents you choose will be the child’s church teachers or not.
– Is it possible for a person to have only one godparent?
- Yes it is possible. It is only important that the godparent be of the same gender as the godson.
– If one of the godparents cannot be present at the Sacrament of Baptism, is it possible to carry out the ceremony without him, but register him as a godparent?
– Until 1917, there was a practice of absentee godparents, but it was applied only to members of the imperial family, when they, as a sign of royal or grand-ducal favor, agreed to be considered the godparents of a particular baby. If we are talking about a similar situation, do so, but if not, then it is perhaps better to proceed from generally accepted practice.
– Who can’t be a godfather?
- Of course, non-Christians - atheists, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, and so on - cannot be godparents, no matter how close friends the child’s parents are and no matter how pleasant people they are to talk to.
An exceptional situation - if there are no close people close to Orthodoxy, and you are confident in the good morals of a non-Orthodox Christian - then the practice of our Church allows one of the godparents to be a representative of another Christian denomination: Catholic or Protestant.
According to the wise tradition of the Russian Orthodox Church, a husband and wife cannot be godparents of the same child. Therefore, it is worth considering if you and the person with whom you want to start a family are invited to become adoptive parents.
– Which relative can be godfather?
– An aunt or uncle, grandmother or grandfather can become the adoptive parents of their little relatives. You just need to remember that a husband and wife cannot be godparents of one child. However, it’s worth thinking about this: our close relatives will still take care of the child and help us raise him. In this case, aren’t we depriving the little person of love and care, because he could have one or two more adult Orthodox friends to whom he could turn throughout his life. This is especially important during the period when the child seeks authority outside the family. At this time, the godfather, without in any way opposing himself to the parents, could become the person whom the teenager trusts, from whom he asks for advice even about what he does not dare to tell his loved ones.
– Is it possible to refuse godparents? Or baptize a child for the purpose of normal upbringing in the faith?
– In any case, a child cannot be re-baptized, because the Sacrament of Baptism is performed once, and no sins of either godparents, or his natural parents, or even the person himself can cancel all those grace-filled gifts that are given to a person in the Sacrament of Baptism.
As for communication with godparents, then, of course, betrayal of faith, that is, falling away into one or another heterodox confession - Catholicism, Protestantism, especially falling into one or another non-Christian religion, atheism, a blatantly ungodly way of life - essentially speaks of that the person failed to fulfill his responsibility as a godfather. The spiritual union concluded in this sense in the Sacrament of Baptism can be considered dissolved by the godmother or godfather, and you can ask another church-going pious person to take a blessing from his confessor to take care of the godfather or godmother for this or that child.
“I was invited to be the girl’s godmother, but everyone tells me that the boy must be baptized first.” Is it so?
– The superstitious idea that a girl should have a boy as her first godson and that a baby girl taken from the font will become an obstacle to her subsequent marriage has no Christian roots and is an absolute fabrication that an Orthodox Christian woman should not be guided by.
– They say that one of the godparents must be married and have children. Is it so?
– On the one hand, the opinion that one of the godparents must be married and have children is a superstition, just like the idea that a girl who received a girl from the font will either not get married herself, or this will affect her fate some kind of imprint.
On the other hand, one can see a certain kind of sobriety in this opinion, if one does not approach it with a superstitious interpretation. Of course, it would be reasonable if people (or at least one of the godparents) who have sufficient life experience, who themselves already have the skill of raising children in faith and piety, and who have something to share with the baby’s physical parents, are chosen as godparents for the baby. And it would be highly desirable to look for such a godfather.
– Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?
– Church statutes do not prevent a pregnant woman from being a godmother. The only thing I urge you to think about is whether you have the strength and determination to share the love for your own child with the love for the adopted baby, whether you will have time to care for him, to advise the baby’s parents, to sometimes pray warmly for him , bring to the temple, somehow be a good older friend. If you are more or less confident in yourself and circumstances allow, then nothing prevents you from becoming a godmother, but in all other cases, it may be better to measure seven times before cutting once.
About godparents
Natalia Sukhinina
“I recently got into a conversation with a woman on the train, or rather, we even got into an argument. She argued that godparents, like father and mother, are obliged to raise their godson. But I don’t agree: a mother is a mother, whoever she allows to interfere in the child’s upbringing. I also once had a godson when I was young, but our paths diverged long ago, I don’t know where he lives now. And she, this woman, says that now I will have to answer for him. Responsible for someone else's child? I can’t believe it..."
(From a letter from a reader)
It so happened, and my life paths veered in a completely different direction from my godparents. Where they are now, how they live, and whether they are alive at all, I don’t know. I couldn’t even remember their names; I was baptized a long time ago, in infancy. I asked my parents, but they themselves don’t remember, they shrugged their shoulders, they said that people lived next door at that time, and they were invited to be godparents.
Where are they now, what are their names, do you remember?
To be honest, for me this circumstance was never a flaw, I grew up and grew up without godparents. No, I was lying, it happened once, I was jealous. A school friend was getting married and received a gossamer-thin gold chain as a wedding gift. The godmother gave it to us, she boasted, who could not even dream of such chains. That's when I became jealous. If I had a godmother, maybe I would...
Now, of course, having lived and thought about it, I am very sorry about my random “father and mother”, who are not even in my mind, that I remember them now in these lines. I remember without reproach, with regret. And, of course, in a dispute between my reader and a fellow traveler on the train, I am completely on the side of the fellow traveler. She's right. We must answer for the godsons and goddaughters who have scattered from their parents’ nests, because they are not random people in our lives, but our children, spiritual children, godparents.
Who doesn't know this picture?
Dressed up people stand aside in the temple. The center of attention is a baby in lush lace, they pass him from hand to hand, go out with him, distract him so that he does not cry. They are waiting for the christening. They look at their watches and get nervous.
Godmothers and fathers can be recognized immediately. They are somehow especially focused and important. They are in a hurry to get their wallet to pay for the upcoming christening, give some orders, rustle with bags of baptismal robes and fresh diapers. The little man does not understand anything, gawking at the wall frescoes, at the lights of the chandelier, at the “persons accompanying him,” among which the godfather’s face is one of many. But when the priest invites you, it’s time. They fussed, became agitated, the godparents tried their best to maintain importance, but it didn’t work, because for them, as well as for their godson, today’s entrance into God’s temple is a significant event.
“When was the last time you were in church?” the priest will ask. They will shrug their shoulders in embarrassment. He may not ask, of course. But even if he doesn’t ask, you can still easily determine from the awkwardness and tension that the godparents are not church people, and only the event in which they were invited to participate brought them under the arches of the church. Father will ask questions:
- Do you wear a cross?
- Do you read prayers?
– Are you reading the Gospel?
– Do you honor church holidays?
And the godparents will begin to mutter something incomprehensible and lower their eyes guiltily. The priest will certainly reassure you and remind you of the duty of godfathers and mothers, and of Christian duty in general. The godparents will hastily and willingly nod their heads, humbly accept the conviction of sin, and either from excitement, or from embarrassment, or from the seriousness of the moment, few will remember and let into the heart the main thought of the priest: we are all responsible for our godchildren, and now and forever. And whoever remembers will most likely misunderstand. And from time to time, mindful of his duty, he will begin to contribute what he can to the well-being of his godson.
The first deposit immediately after baptism: an envelope with a crisp, solid bill - enough for a tooth. Then, for birthdays, as the child grows older, a luxurious set of children's trousseau, an expensive toy, a fashionable backpack, a bicycle, a branded suit, and so on up to a gold chain, to the envy of the poor, for a wedding.
We know very little. And it’s not just a problem, but something that we don’t really want to know. After all, if they wanted to, then before going to the temple as a godfather, they would have looked there the day before and asked the priest what this step “threatens” us, how best to prepare for it.
Godfather is a godfather in Slavic. Why? After immersion in the font, the priest transfers the baby from his own hands to the hands of the godfather. And he accepts, takes it into his own hands. The meaning of this action is very deep. By acceptance, the godfather takes upon himself the honorable, and most importantly, responsible mission of leading the godson along the path of ascension to the Heavenly inheritance. That's where! After all, baptism is the spiritual birth of a person. Remember in the Gospel of John: “Whoever is not born of water and the Spirit cannot enter the kingdom of God.”
The Church calls its recipients with serious words – “guardians of faith and piety”. But in order to store, you need to know. Therefore, only a believing Orthodox person can be a godfather, and not the one who went to church for the first time with the baby being baptized. Godparents must know at least the basic prayers “Our Father”, “Virgin Mother of God”, “May God rise again...”, they must know the “Creed”, read the Gospel, the Psalter. And, of course, wear a cross, be able to be baptized.
One priest told me: they came to baptize a child, but the godfather did not have a cross. Father to him: put on the cross, but he can’t, he’s unbaptized. Just a joke, but the absolute truth.
Faith and repentance are the two main conditions for union with God. But faith and repentance cannot be demanded from a baby in lace, so the godparents are called upon, having faith and repentance, to pass them on and teach them to their successors. That is why they pronounce, instead of babies, the words of the “Creed” and the words of renunciation of Satan.
– Do you deny Satan and all his works? - asks the priest.
“I deny,” the receiver answers instead of the baby.
The priest is wearing a light festive robe as a sign of the beginning of a new life, and therefore of spiritual purity. He walks around the font, censes it, and everyone standing next to the lit candles. Candles are burning in the hands of the recipients. Very soon, the priest will lower the baby into the font three times and, wet, wrinkled, not at all understanding where he is and why, the servant of God, will hand him over to the hands of his godparents. And he will be dressed in white robes. At this time, a very beautiful troparion is sung: “Give me a robe of light, dress in light, like a robe...” Accept your child, successors. From now on, your life will be filled with special meaning, you have taken upon yourself the feat of spiritual parenthood, and for how you carry it, you will now have to answer before God.
At the First Ecumenical Council, a rule was adopted according to which women become successors for girls, men for boys. Simply put, a girl needs only a godmother, a boy only a godfather. But life, as often happens, made its own adjustments here too. According to ancient Russian tradition, both are invited. Of course, you can’t spoil the porridge with oil. But even here you need to know very specific rules. For example, a husband and wife cannot be godparents to one child, just as a child’s parents cannot be his godparents at the same time. Godparents cannot marry their godchildren.
... The baby's baptism is behind us. He has a big life ahead of him, in which we have a place equal to the father and mother who gave birth to him. Our work lies ahead, our constant desire to prepare our godson to ascend to spiritual heights. Where to begin? Yes, from the very beginning. At first, especially if the child is the first, parents are knocked off their feet by the worries that have fallen on them. They, as they say, don’t care about anything. Now is the time to give them a helping hand.
Carry the baby to Communion, make sure that icons hang over his cradle, give notes for him in church, order prayer services, constantly, like your own natural children, remember them in home prayers. Of course, there is no need to do this edifyingly, they say, you are mired in vanity, but I am all spiritual - I think about high things, I strive for high things, I take care of your child so that you can do without me... In general, the spiritual education of a child is only possible in case if the godfather is his own person in the house, welcome, tactful. Of course, you don’t need to shift all your worries onto yourself. The responsibilities of spiritual education are not removed from parents, but to help, support, replace somewhere, if necessary, this is mandatory, without this you cannot justify yourself before the Lord.
This is truly a difficult cross to bear. And, probably, you need to think carefully before placing it on yourself. Will I be able to? Do I have enough health, patience, and spiritual experience to become a recipient of a person entering life? And parents should take a good look at relatives and friends - candidates for the honorary post. Which of them will be able to become a truly kind assistant in education, who will be able to bestow your child with true Christian gifts - prayer, the ability to forgive, the ability to love God. And plush bunnies the size of elephants may be nice, but they are not at all necessary.
If there is trouble in the house, there are different criteria. How many unfortunate, restless children suffer from drunken fathers and unlucky mothers. And how many simply unfriendly, embittered people live under one roof and make children suffer cruelly. Such stories are as old as time and banal. But if a person who stood with a lit candle in front of the Epiphany font fits into this plot, if he, this person, rushes, as if into an embrasure, towards his godson, he can move mountains. Possible good is also good. We are not able to discourage a foolish man from drinking half a liter, to reason with a lost daughter, or to sing “put up, put up, put up” to two frowning halves. But we have the power to take a boy who is tired of affection to our dacha for a day, enroll him in Sunday school and take the trouble to take him there and pray. The feat of prayer is at the forefront of the godparents of all times and peoples.
The priests well understand the severity of the feat of their successors and do not give their blessing to recruit a lot of children for their children, good and different.
But I know a man who has more than fifty godchildren. These boys and girls are right from there, from childhood loneliness, childhood sadness. From a big childhood misfortune.
This man’s name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin, he lives in Khabarovsk, directs the Children’s Rehabilitation Center, or more simply, an orphanage. As a director, he does a lot, gets funds for classroom equipment, selects personnel from conscientious, unselfish people, rescues his charges from the police, collects them in basements.
Like a godfather, he takes them to church, talks about God, prepares them for Communion, and prays. He prays a lot, a lot. In Optina Pustyn, in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, in the Diveyevo Monastery, in dozens of churches throughout Russia, long notes written by him about the health of numerous godchildren are read. He gets very tired, this man, sometimes he almost falls from fatigue. But he has no other choice, he is a godfather, and his godchildren are a special people. His heart is a rare heart, and the priest, understanding this, blesses him for such asceticism. A teacher from God, those who know him in action say about him. Godfather from God - can you say so? No, probably all godparents are from God, but he knows how to suffer like a godfather, knows how to love like a godfather, and knows how to save. Like a godfather.
For us, whose godchildren, like the children of Lieutenant Schmidt, are scattered throughout cities and towns, his service to children is an example of true Christian service. I think that many of us will not reach its heights, but if we are to make life from anyone, then it will be from those who understand their title of “successor” as a serious and not an accidental matter in life.
You can, of course, say: I am a weak person, busy, not very much a church member, and the best thing I can do in order not to sin is to refuse the offer to be a godfather altogether. It’s more honest and simpler, right? Easier - yes. But more honestly...
Few of us, especially when the time has imperceptibly approached to stop and look back, can say to ourselves - I am a good father, a good mother, I do not owe anything to my own child. We owe everyone, and the godless time in which our requests, our projects, our passions grew, is the result of our debts to each other. We won't give them back anymore. The children have grown up and are doing without our truths and our discoveries of America. The parents have grown old. But conscience, the voice of God, itches and itches.
Conscience requires an outburst, and not in words, but in deeds. Couldn't bearing the responsibilities of the cross be such a thing?
It’s a pity that there are few examples of the feat of the cross among us. The word "godfather" has almost disappeared from our vocabulary. And the recent wedding of my childhood friend’s daughter was a big and unexpected gift for me. Or rather, not even a wedding, which in itself is a great joy, but a feast, the wedding itself. And that's why. We sat down, poured the wine, and waited for the toast. Everyone is somehow embarrassed, the bride’s parents let the groom’s parents pass ahead with the speeches, and they do the opposite. And then a tall and handsome man stood up. He stood up somehow very businesslike. He raised his glass:
– I want to say, as the godfather of the bride...
Everyone became quiet. Everyone listened to the words about how the young people should live long, in harmony, with many children, and most importantly, with the Lord.
“Thank you, godfather,” said the charming Yulka, and from under her luxurious foaming veil she gave her godfather a grateful look.
Thank you godfather, I thought too. Thank you for carrying love for your spiritual daughter from the baptismal candle to the wedding candle. Thank you for reminding us all of what we had completely forgotten about. But we have time to remember. How much - the Lord knows. Therefore, we must hurry.
According to the custom of the Russian Orthodox Church, for the baptism of a child, one godfather of the same sex is enough, for a girl - a godmother, for a boy - a godfather. But at the request of the parents, there can be two godparents. The godfather of the same sex as the child will be the recipient of the font, and the responsibilities of the godparents will be divided in half.
When choosing a godfather for your son, you should think seriously: what kind of man do you want your child to be in the future, what masculine character traits will he develop over time, and in general, what does the words “be a Christian” mean to you? A godfather can provide invaluable assistance in raising a son. It is important to remember that the godfather and godson must trust each other and be friends. Experienced priests advise choosing as godparents those who successfully raise their own children.
A good godfather has a lot to learn, and he himself knows how and loves to teach. Remember that the godfather is called upon to help in the Christian upbringing of the child, and not just to support the family in different situations. Ideally, the godfather should be an example for the whole family - in faith, honesty, kindness. Another important circumstance is that it is desirable that the godfather is not new to the church; he should well understand the meaning of church life, know and love the services in the church.
Spiritual kinship is a strong connection between two souls for life. By finding a worthy godfather for your child, you will give him a priceless gift that he will appreciate when he becomes an adult.
What does a godfather need to prepare for the rite of Baptism?
The godfather chooses in advance and buys a pectoral cross, a chain for it, or a lace for the baby for the future godson. Also, it’s worth taking care of purchasing a baptismal icon of the Guardian Angel ahead of time. It is also customary to give for Baptism an icon of the patron saint of the child in whose honor the name was given in baptism. It can be purchased, by agreement, by the child’s parents or godparents.
Godparents can order a measured icon for a child on Epiphany Day - an icon of the patron saint, the length of which is equal to the height of the child at birth. A measured icon is a valuable gift and a special blessing from godparents at a christening.
Traditionally, baptismal clothes - a shirt and diaper with a cross - are bought by the godmother. In the case when the boy has one godfather, the baptismal accessories can be chosen together with the baby’s own mother - the mother always knows best what is best for the child. To baptize a boy, you will need a white shirt and a baptismal diaper or a large, white, new towel, in which the godson is received from the font. As a gift to the godson's family, you can present any icons. If there are no icons in the apartment of the young parents, then it will be very good if the godfather gives them the main holy images that should be in the home of every believer - icons of the Savior and the Mother of God.
The godfather's job is to give the child a Children's Bible. This can be done on the day of Epiphany or during the first year of the baby’s life, on any holiday. A good christening gift would be any spiritual literature for family reading, as well as a prayer book with prayers for children, in a good quality leather binding, gift edition.
When preparing for Baptism, you will need to talk with the priest and find out what else is needed to perform the ceremony in the church - how many candles are needed, what icons can be placed on the lectern, etc. All this is worth finding out in advance so as not to fuss and waste time in solemn day. The godfather's responsibilities also include paying for the baptismal ceremony in the temple.
What should godfathers do during the sacrament of baptism?
During the baptismal ceremony, the godfather holds the child in his arms, if it is an infant, starting from about two years old, children stand independently, in front of the godfather, while reading prayers.
After the vows of negation from evil forces that the godfather gives for the child, the prayer Creed is read. This prayer is read by heart by the godfather, as a sign of confession of faith and guarantee for the baby.
Before immersion in the font, the godfather frees the child from diapers, or helps the baby take off his clothes, and hands him over to the priest for immersion. The godfather receives the child from the font into the white baptismal cloth, in the old days called “rizka” or “kryzhma”. The priest, with the help of his godfather, dresses the newly baptized person in a white baptismal shirt. At the end of the sacrament, the godfather with the child in his arms walks around the lectern three times, the Gospel is read, and the ceremony of cutting hair is performed as a sign of the godson’s surrender to the will of God.
Personal christening preparation for the godfather
According to the rules of the Russian Orthodox Church, the child's godparents and parents must attend a mandatory course of public conversations before baptism. Each church has its own procedure for conducting public conversations. You can find out about this from the candle maker when you sign up for baptism.
Baptism is a great sacrament of the Orthodox Church. One should prepare for it by fasting, confession and communion in order to participate in the sacrament with a renewed and pure soul. You can receive communion at Sunday service, on the eve of baptism. In many churches, it is customary to baptize children on Sundays, after the Liturgy.
If you are participating in the sacrament of Baptism for the first time, you need to get acquainted with the order of the sacrament - what sacred rites and prayers are performed and in what order, what the godfather has to do during the ritual. You can talk about this with the priest during public conversations or in person, in church.
Responsibilities of a Godfather
The main thing is to set an example of decent masculine behavior. To do this, you need to communicate with your godson more often when he grows up, talk about different topics. Christian upbringing assumes that godparents will periodically go to church with the child, explain in accessible language the essence of what is happening in the church, and ensure that the godson regularly confesses and receives communion.
You need to be ready to help parents with advice in any difficult situation, and if necessary, financially. When the child becomes a schoolchild, his godparents enroll him in Sunday school.
In old Russia there was a custom according to which it was the godparents who were involved in choosing an educational institution for the child, and then helped in arranging his personal life.
Even more interesting articles
", published by the Sretensky Monastery Publishing House, provides in an accessible form the initial knowledge necessary for those who are preparing for the Sacrament of Baptism or are just beginning to live an Orthodox life. The book presents the main provisions of our faith, talks about the Sacraments, the commandments of God and prayer.
When I have to baptize an adult, most often I perform the sacrament of Baptism without godparents. Because godparents, or godparents, are necessarily needed only for children. When an adult is baptized, he himself can say that he believes in the Lord Jesus Christ as his Savior and wants to accept Holy Baptism in order to save his soul. He himself can answer the priest’s questions and promise fidelity to Christ. Of course, it is good when next to the adult person being baptized there is an Orthodox church person who can become his successor and help him take his first steps in church and teach him the basics of faith. But I repeat, for an adult it is not necessary to have godparents.
Why are receivers needed at all? Godparents are those people who, due to the minority of their godchildren, make vows of Holy Baptism for them, a promise of fidelity to God. For their spiritual children, they renounce Satan, unite with Christ and confess their faith, reading the Creed for them. We baptize most people in infancy, that is, at an age when the child does not yet have conscious faith and cannot answer how he believes. His godparents do this for him. We baptize children according to the faith of their recipients and according to the faith of their parents as the closest people. Therefore, both bear a huge responsibility. Godparents are not just family friends, they are not some kind of “wedding generals” standing at the sacrament with an “Honorary Witness” ribbon, as happens at weddings. No, godparents are very responsible persons; they become guarantors before God for the souls of their godchildren. At the moment of baptism, together with their parents, in front of the Cross and the Gospel lying on a lectern, they make a promise to God Himself. What promise? That they will make every effort so that the newly baptized baby grows up to be a believer, an Orthodox person. Their duty now is to pray for their spiritual children, teach them prayers, instruct them in the Orthodox faith and take them to church to receive communion, and then, after seven years, to confess. So that when their godson reaches adulthood, he already knows how to pray to God, knows what we believe in and why we go to church. Of course, the greatest responsibility for the Christian upbringing of children lies with the parents, but godparents can also greatly influence their godchildren and become their spiritual teachers and mentors.
Many parents approach the Baptism of their children quite formally and choose godparents in the same formal manner.
Now a little about the sad things. Most modern godparents are very poorly prepared. Unfortunately, many parents approach the sacrament of Baptism of their children completely formally and choose godparents in the same formal manner. After all, a godfather must be not just a good person, with whom we enjoy communicating, our friend or relative - he must be an Orthodox person, a churchgoer and knowledgeable of his faith. How can we teach someone the basics of faith if we ourselves don’t even know the basics, haven’t read the Gospel, don’t know prayers? Indeed, in any field, if a person knows something well, for example, knows how to drive a car, work on a computer, solve mathematical problems, do repairs, he can teach this to others, pass on his knowledge. And if he himself knows nothing in this area, who can he teach?
If you are godparents and feel a lack of knowledge in the spiritual field (and none of us can say that he has fully studied the Orthodox faith, for it is an inexhaustible reservoir of spiritual wisdom), it is necessary to fill this gap. You need to educate yourself. Believe me, there is nothing complicated about this, especially now, when no one forbids us to read any spiritual literature and when books, brochures, and CDs telling about the Orthodox faith are sold in all churches and bookstores. The Lord reveals himself to everyone who turns to Him, at any age. My grandfather received Baptism at the age of 70 and then mastered the basics of the Orthodox faith so well that he could even teach and mentor others.
You need to start spiritual education with the very beginning, basic books, such as “The Law of God”, “First Steps in an Orthodox Church” and others. You definitely need to read the Gospel; you can start with the “Gospel of Mark”, it is the shortest, only 16 chapters, and was written specifically for new pagan Christians.
The godfather must live according to the commandments of God, pray to God and receive communion
The recipient must know the Creed and read it at baptism; this prayer book briefly outlines the Orthodox faith, and the godfather must know what he believes. And of course, the godfather must live according to God’s commandments, pray to God and receive communion. According to church canons, a child is entitled to one godfather, of the same gender as the person being baptized, but our Russian tradition presupposes two godparents - a man and a woman. They must not be married to each other. Godparents then cannot marry or marry their godchildren. The child's father and mother cannot be his godparents, but other relatives: grandparents, uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters may well become godparents. Recipients, preparing for the sacrament of Baptism, must confess and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ.
