Divorce in Tajik. Exotic is not for the faint of heart. Why in Tajikistan they look askance at divorced girls “My husband left me to freeze in the forest barefoot”
DUSHANBE, Oct 12 - Sputnik. More than 12% or 9 thousand marriages in Tajikistan end in divorce - these are official statistics.
After the breakup of a marriage, it is most often the ex-wife who remains in the red, because society now considers such women to be “second-class.”
There is even a popular proverb about this: “Kurbokka shui dorad, ba khud obrui dorad” (Even a married frog is respected).
"Even God didn't want to take me away"
Shabnam was married off by her parents when she was 18 years old. She lived in marriage for 5 years, steadfastly enduring bullying from her mother-in-law and being beaten half to death by her husband.
“I was a student, studying at the Faculty of International Relations at the university. I didn’t always have time to clean a large house or cook food for a family of 12 people. My mother-in-law “nagged” me every day because of this and made big scandals. My husband periodically beat me and broke my arm. , nose, rib. I was silent because I was taught not to wash dirty linen in public,” the woman recalls.
She hoped that life would get better, but everything turned out differently. She returned to her father's house with a 3-year-old daughter in her arms and being pregnant with her son.
“I, pregnant with my second child, was kicked out of the house at one in the morning, they simply kicked me out the door. I didn’t have a mobile phone, and I knocked on a neighbor’s door to call my father from her. He came and took me,” she lowers her head.
Soon Shabnam gave birth to a son. The atmosphere in my parents’ house was also difficult - they don’t live well, the family is large, and besides her, there is also a brother with a wife and three children.
“Since I was left alone, my father doesn’t really communicate with me. He says that the bride’s duty is to serve the family, and since I was kicked out, that means I’m not a good servant,” explains the divorced woman.
So, at 23, no one needed a very young girl. Driven to despair, she stopped even wanting to live.
“When my son was 3 months old, I almost did something stupid. I was so tired of everything that I wanted to leave. I went to the pharmacy, bought 3 packs of diphenhydramine. I drank everything and went to bed in the hope that I wouldn’t wake up in the morning. I felt like I was going numb "My tongue, everything is floating. And in the morning I woke up as if I had been beaten again," she says.
According to her, at that moment she realized what a sin she could have committed.
“After all, no one needs my children except me,” explains Shabnam.
The girl pulled herself together and took a short-term sewing course. Now he accepts orders for sewing national Tajik dresses, earns good money and saves money for his own housing.
Shabnam has stopped visiting relatives and neighbors because she is confused by endless questions about the reason for her divorce from her husband.
"My husband left me to freeze in the forest barefoot"
Madina married for love, at first she was very happy in her marriage. The couple had two children. The couple rented an apartment in Dushanbe. She, having received a higher education, remained to work at the university. He was doing business.
“Gradually, my husband began to change, lose his temper, raise his hand against me in front of the children. Later I found out that he began to lose the money he earned in bookmakers. He persuaded me to take out a bank loan for 3 thousand dollars and become a guarantor. We decided that he will go to Moscow and send money to pay off the debt,” she says.
For the first three months, Madina received money transfers from her husband on time. Afterwards he stopped communicating. From mutual friends the girl learned that her husband had married again in Moscow. Having written down the addresses of his place of work and apartment, she went in search of him.
"Then I had already firmly decided that I would divorce him, but first I had to repay the loan, I couldn’t have done it alone. I left the children with my mother and went. It was very scary, I was afraid of getting lost in the big city. When I came to work with him, he was speechless ", seeing me. I told him everything I thought about him and said that I would not return until he paid off his debts," Madina recalls.
She was stuck in Moscow for almost a year, every month she scandalously extorted money from her husband. She also worked herself, sending her salary to the last penny to her mother in Tajikistan. Upon my return I wanted to buy an apartment.
“All this time he beat me, but I endured it, because there was no other way out. One day he took me to the forest, beat me so that there was no living space left on me. He took off my outer clothing, shoes, socks and left me to die in the snow. I hitched a ride home. I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. The doctor tried to persuade me to write a statement to the police, but I refused," she smiles sadly.
Returning to Dushanbe, the girl filed for divorce, changed her numbers, and invested in a new building. Two years have passed since then. Madina moved to a new house, but her ex-husband never showed up. Now she remembers him with a shudder, and doesn’t even think about remarriage.
“I don’t give a damn about people’s opinions. I know that in Tajikistan a divorcee is compared to a girl of easy virtue, even if you are a saint. Every bald, lame and cross-haired person considers it his duty to offer to be a second wife. I send them far away for magnets. The main thing is that my friends support me my family, they know what I went through,” says Madina.
“They starved me and didn’t let me go outside.”
Manizhe's parents picked the couple. The groom was handsome, which was quite enough for her at 19 years old.
“My parents brought me and my husband together - a prominent groom, a wealthy family. The wedding was played quickly, we walked for several days. My girlfriends were jealous of me, my relatives congratulated me. But after the celebration, it was as if my husband had been replaced,” she sighs.
As expected in a Tajik family, all household responsibilities were assigned to the young wife. The daughter-in-law regularly cleaned the house, prepared food and silently endured attacks from her sisters and her husband’s mother. However, she did not receive love in return.
“When he left for work, hell began for me. They pushed me so that I would hit the corner of the closet harder, called me the most offensive words. They didn’t let me sit down for a minute, even when I was in the last month of pregnancy. And then in the evening my husband returned and beat me me, accusing me of allegedly cheating and disrespectful attitude. I endured everything in silence, I didn’t want anyone to find out,” she sighs.
This continued year after year. Neither the birth of a son nor a complete cessation of communication with friends and family helped.
“It started to get to the point that they starved me, they didn’t even let me go outside to the store or the market. Every day was worse than the next. When I realized that I would either kill myself or him, I took the children, stole the keys and fled at dawn from at home. In my bag I only had a passport and some money,” says Manizha.
She filed for divorce herself. Despite the gravity of the situation, the parents did not let their daughter go home - they brought shame on the whole family. I had to rent an apartment. They rush to get a job as anyone, even wash floors, just to feed two children and not end up on the street.
“Women like me are usually not allowed back home by my parents. They are afraid of gossip from neighbors, relatives and acquaintances. They prefer that I wander around rented apartments with children, just to hide from others that I am divorced,” she explains.
5 years later. Manizha was able to recover from her experience, but is still afraid of running into her ex-husband or his relatives on the street, dreams of moving to another city, and doesn’t even think about her personal life.
“Divorced with two children - it’s like a sentence or a stigma. You can forget about yourself, dreams, desires, a normal life. I would love to go to Moscow, start with a clean slate, but I’m afraid that without education I won’t find a job,” - she says.
Divorces in Tajikistan
More than 12% of marriages in Tajikistan end in divorce - these are official statistics. In 2017, there were 8.8 thousand divorces out of 72.4 thousand marriages. In 2016, the numbers were approximately the same: according to official statistics, for 78.6 thousand marriages there were 10 thousand divorces.
Let us remind you that the Committee for Women and Family Affairs under the Government of Tajikistan published on the website data from the Ministry of Internal Affairs, according to which in 2017, 1,489 cases of domestic violence were officially recorded in Tajikistan. The data shows a downward trend as 1,134 more cases were detected the year before.
It should be noted that in 2017, 497 women in Tajikistan committed suicide. The main reasons for female suicide are the psychological state and problems in the family, emphasized Idigul Kosimzoda, Chairman of the Committee on Women and Family Affairs under the Government of Tajikistan.
3 ..CHAPTER 4.
TERMINATION OF MARRIAGE IN THE LAW OF TAJIKISTAN
Article 16. Grounds for termination of marriage
1. A marriage is terminated due to the death or court declaration of one of the spouses as deceased.
2. A marriage may be terminated by dissolution (divorce) upon the application of one or both spouses, the guardian of the spouse recognized by the court as incompetent, as well as the prosecutor.
Article 17. Restrictions on the right of the husband to present a demand for
divorce
The husband does not have the right, without the consent of his wife, to initiate proceedings in court for divorce during his wife’s pregnancy and within one and a half years after the birth of the child.
Article 18. Procedure for divorce
Divorce is carried out by the civil registry office in the manner prescribed by the Law of the Republic of Tajikistan “On State Registration of Acts of Civil Status”. and in cases provided for in Articles 21-24 of this Code, in court (as amended by the Law of the Republic of Tajikistan dated April 29, 2006 No. 183).
Article 19. excluded (as amended by the Law of the Republic of Tajikistan dated April 29, 2006 No. 183)
Article 20. Consideration of disputes arising between spouses upon divorce in the civil registry office
Disputes about the division of common property of spouses, payment of funds for the maintenance of a needy disabled spouse, as well as disputes about children arising between spouses, and in cases provided for by the Law of the Republic of Tajikistan “On State Registration of Acts of Civil Status” are considered in court, regardless of the divorce in civil registration authorities (as amended by the Law of the Republic of Tajikistan dated April 29, 2006 No. 183).
Article 21. Divorce in court
1. A marriage is dissolved in court if the spouses have common minor children, with the exception of cases provided for by the Law of the Republic of Tajikistan “On State Registration of Acts of Civil Status”, or in the absence of the consent of one of the spouses to dissolve the marriage (as amended by the Law of the Republic of Tajikistan dated April 29, 2006 No. 183).
2. A marriage is also dissolved in court in cases where one of the spouses, despite his lack of objections, evades the dissolution of the marriage in the civil registry office (refuses to submit an application or does not want to appear to register the divorce, etc.).
Article 22. Divorce of marriage in court in the absence of consent of one of the spouses to divorce
1. When considering cases of divorce in the absence of the consent of one of the spouses to dissolve the marriage, the court takes measures to reconcile the spouses and has the right to postpone the proceedings, assigning the spouses a period for reconciliation within three months.
2. The marriage is dissolved if the court finds that further life together of the spouses and the preservation of the family have become impossible, and measures to reconcile the spouses have been unsuccessful.
3. If the court rejects the claim for divorce, the spouses are given the right to again appeal to the court with a statement of claim for divorce after the expiration of three months from the date of refusal of the claim.
Article 23. Divorce of marriage in court with mutual consent of the spouses to dissolve the marriage
1. If there is mutual consent to dissolve the marriage of spouses who have common minor children, as well as the spouses specified in part two of Article 21 of this Code, the court has the right to dissolve the marriage.
2. Divorce is carried out within a month from the moment the spouses submit an application for divorce.
Article 24. Issues resolved by the court when making a decision on divorce
1. When a marriage is dissolved by court, spouses may submit for court approval an agreement on which of them will live with minor children, on the procedure for payment and amount of funds for the maintenance of children and (or) a disabled needy spouse, on the amount of these funds, or on the division of the common property of the spouses.
2. If there is no agreement between the spouses on the issues specified in part 1 of this article, and also if it is established that this agreement violates the interests of the children or one of the spouses, the court is obliged:
Determine which parent the minor children will live with after the divorce;
Determine from which parent and in what amount child support is collected;
At the request of the spouses (one of them), to divide the property in their joint ownership;
At the request of the spouse entitled to receive maintenance from the other spouse, determine the amount of this maintenance.
3. If the division of property affects the interests of third parties, the court has the right to separate the requirement for division of property into separate proceedings.
Article 25. Moment of termination of marriage in case of divorce
1. A marriage dissolved in the civil registry office is terminated from the moment of state registration of the divorce in the civil registration book, and in the case of divorce in court, from the day the court decision enters into legal force (as amended by the Law of the Republic of Tajikistan dated April 29, 2006. No. 183)
2. Divorce in court is subject to state registration with the civil registry office within one year after the court decision enters into legal force in the manner established for civil registration. Divorce has legal significance for third parties from the moment of its registration (as amended by the Law of the Republic of Tajikistan dated April 29, 2006 No. 183).
DIVORCE BY SMS
According to some interpretations of Sharia, if a man pronounces the word “talaq” three times, this means that he has divorced his wife and is a free man. It is in this way that the men of Tajikistan, who work in other countries, mainly in Russia, manage to divorce their wives. Some announce their departure from the family by writing a short SMS message with the word “talaq” three times.
Rozia is one of the Tajik women who received a divorce SMS from her husband, who is working in Russia. She didn’t see him anymore, doesn’t know what happened to him and how to get alimony from her runaway husband, writes the Tajik edition of RFE/RL.
The court where she filed her claim has not been able to consider her application for two years now. According to the legislation in force in Tajikistan, without the presence of the defendant, that is, the husband, the plaintiff’s application will not be considered.
Rozia herself works in a restaurant in the city of Kulob, she has minor children, and there is no news from her ex-husband. According to Rozia, “my husband lives somewhere in Russia.”
“Yes, we gave up on this matter. He will not come to Tajikistan so that the court can determine the amount of alimony. Children will grow up one way or another, since Allah sends everyone his share by any means. My children will not die of hunger, but if their father had helped them, their childhood would have been much happier. God be his judge, I stopped running around the courts,” says Rozia.
GUIDE BEFORE DADDY'S ARRIVAL
Rozia’s story is far from unique in Tajikistan. Over the 11 months of 2010, hundreds of women turned to the Shohrvand public organization, according to its director Dodarbek Saidaliev, who wanted to obtain alimony payments from their husbands who were working in Russia.
Most migrants do not have a clear place of work. How can we oblige them to pay child support? In this case, the law does not allow any decision to be made without the presence of the defendant.
“Women ask us, what should we do? “Our husbands are in Russia, we go to court, and they explain to us that they are not murderers, so that they can be forcibly returned from Russia to Tajikistan,” says Dodarbek Saidaliev.
Gulchekhra Murodova, an employee of the Shohrvand organization, in turn, says that many families abandoned by Tajik men need serious financial assistance, and calls on the legislative bodies to somehow solve this problem.
Meanwhile, the law of Tajikistan provides that the court has the right to oblige social care authorities to pay cash benefits to children abandoned by their second parent. Until the parent returns to their home. However, as Furkat Rakhmatulloev, head of the clerical department of the Tajik city of Kulyab, told Radio Ozodi, due to the “non-transparent” activities of migrant workers, the court has never used this law.
“Most migrants do not have a clear place of work. How can we oblige them to pay child support? The law does not allow in this case to make any decision without the presence of the defendant,” says Furkat Rakhmatulloev.
At the same time, he notes that the number of women turning to the authorities with complaints about abandoned husbands is increasing every year.
“TALAQ IS THE WORST HALAL”
The Committee on Religious Affairs under the government of Tajikistan reacts in its own way to the current situation with telephone scams. Its chairman, Abdurakhim Kholikov, called such a divorce contrary not only to secular laws, but also to Sharia laws. This issue has already been raised at the Ulema Council of Tajikistan, and, according to him, an appropriate decision should be made on it.
Divorce (talaq) is the worst halal, says Umarali Nazarov, rector of the Islamic Institute of Tajikistan.
“I believe that a woman-mother is sacred and deserves respect. Families should not break up, but if there is a need for divorce, then our men must treat the woman with respect and properly communicate their decision in the presence of their wife,” Umarali Nazarov tells the Tatar-inform agency.
MARRIAGES ARE CONCLUDED IN RUSSIA
According to official data, 800 thousand men left Tajikistan to work in 2010. A report by the International Organization for Migration (IOM) states that one third of men working abroad do not return to their homeland, Tajikistan, Fergana news agency reports.
In some cases, Tajiks get married to get housing, to simplify the procedure for obtaining Russian citizenship, or to protect themselves from police checks.
The head of the Perspective Plus organization, Oynikhol Bobonazarova, told the Fergana agency that, according to some estimates, 12 thousand Tajik men get married in Russia every year.
“In some cases, Tajiks get married to get housing, to simplify the procedure for obtaining Russian citizenship, or to protect themselves from police checks,” says Oinihol Bobonazarova.
As for Russian registry offices, which require a certificate stating whether a man is married to another woman, such a certificate is not difficult to obtain under the corrupt system of Tajikistan, says Oinikhol Bobonazarova. Some Russian girls, she claims, knowing about the customs in this southern country, require their chosen ones to send their former wives an SMS message with the word “talaq” repeated three times.
Firuz Saidov, an expert at the Center for Strategic Studies in Dushanbe, says that about 70 percent of Tajik migrants still return to their families.
After the end of the civil war, in Tajikistan, unexpectedly for many, the phenomenon of polygamy appeared, its scale is not yet very large, and the criminal article in the republic has not been abolished, but sometimes there are economic reasons for creating a polygamous family.
And recently, a survey was conducted among graduates of Tajik schools, the main idea of which was formulated as follows: “Do you agree to become a second or third wife?” And almost all the schoolgirls answered in the affirmative.
A professor from Dushanbe, Zarina Dinorshoeva, is sounding the alarm, declaring that the situation is abnormal, that poverty in the republic does not allow ordinary families to exist normally, not to mention the fact that there are no objective prerequisites for the existence of polygamous families.
However, in Tajikistan, female education has practically atrophied, not all girls even go to school, and an insignificant number of girls study at universities; almost everyone expects to get married and raise children, but even those who manage to do this cannot be calm about their future and expect that even if it’s in a hut, but with a sweetheart there will be heaven, or at least life from hand to mouth, because most Tajik men are forced to go to work in Russia, and having left, they really, really want to stay in Russia, and The surest way to do this is to marry a Russian woman. And, I must say, they sometimes succeed.
And when the dream of gaining a foothold in Russia comes true, then the moment of extreme divorce comes, about which Zarina Dinorshoeva speaks with horror: “Recently, people are getting divorced in amazing ways. On the phone they say “talok” three times, that is, divorce, and sometimes they just send an SMS message.”
The Tajiks, whom we are already accustomed to seeing on our streets, now look very different, some are stately, handsome mountaineers, but there are often those who were lucky enough to grow up in new times and experience all their delights, and the regime nutrition, in the poverty-stricken republic, at this time became extremely meager and defective, the amount of protein, fats and vitamins consumed by Tajik children fell to the most indecent amounts, which is why a lack of growth, and even rickets, is noticeable among today’s guest workers.
But there are also those who were lucky enough to avoid all this, who grew up to be a stately highlander, and he has a little more chances to capture the heart of a Russian bride, especially if he knows how to speak Russian.
Now imagine that you are a young Tajik wife, who until recently was very happy that she had snatched a good groom, now you are sitting, waiting for a husband from your earnings, pregnant with your fourth child, but suddenly the neighbors who have a cell phone urgently call you to negotiations, and from the receiver you hear the voice of the faithful, saying three times: “talok”, and then beeps...
The plot is not for the faint of heart. Perhaps it could make a good horror film.
The lucky husband who managed to get married in Moscow or Saratov needs nothing more from his ex-wife, because no one needs any Tajik papers, in Russia he will receive a new passport and new documents, and simply throw away the old ones.
And those Tajik women whose husbands hardly speak Russian, look unpresentable, have been undernourished since childhood and are rickety, may be luckier, because although they will earn less, without knowing the language, they will return home, to the joy of their yearning family.
Half of all men in the republic are always absent, and it is not known when they will return, or even whether they will return at all. Is it any wonder then that young girls admit the possibility of becoming a second or third wife?
Although, what will happen if a three-wife gets a new wife in Russia, and kills his previous ones, informing about this by phone - it’s scary to even think about.
And “independence” brought all this happiness to Tajik women. And although at the referendum on preserving the USSR, there was a record turnout in Tajikistan, and more than ninety-six percent voted for the Union, but what happened next is known to everyone. Gorbachev and Yeltsin ruined the country politically, and Gaidar finished it off economically. Moreover, it was Gaidar who finally pushed the Central Asian territories out of the ruble zone, he, like the most fierce enemy, tried to fragment that unity, which, perhaps, still retained the remnants of immunity to disunity and did not want to fragment, but he pushed all the Central Asian republics out of the common economic space, tried to break all ties of industrial cooperation, and left the issue of currency regulation in these regions to the mercy of fate. Even the IMF advised not to touch the problem of the ruble currency union, which continues to exist, for now, and the “sovereign” authorities of the republics then wanted to remain in the ruble zone, but Gaidar, who received clear instructions from the Americans, who were now cramming military bases into the region, did everything so that Russia lost Central Asia, and it lost Russia, and at the same time a normal life, economy and economy. And if in Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan the economy, ten years later, somehow recovered due to the natural resources explored in Soviet times, then in the other republics the situation is very sour, and especially in Tajikistan.
Tajikistan does not even provide itself with feed grain, which is explained by its natural conditions, but to a greater extent by the mediocre policy of the current government, which calmly looked at the civil war that was raging recently, and now calmly looks at the situation that many call nightmarish.
But the funny thing is that the Tajik “president” and the heads of his departments are still talking about independence and sovereignty. And recently, when Putin decided to raise the issue of returning Russian border guards to the Tajik-Afghan border (leaky and translucent, not equipped with anything except semi-literate residents of neighboring villages and elderly shepherd dogs), or rather, it was not Putin himself who began to offer new cooperation, but diplomats, on his instructions, they raised the issue of the return of the Russian military, the resumption of cooperation in the economy, and other “Russian expansion”, then the local rulers burst into very shrill responses in the press (although in the conversations themselves with Russian diplomats, more and more , kept quiet), but the Tajik newspapers were full of notes from their interviews, where they argued that sovereignty was dearer to them than life, and they would not allow it to be encroached upon, especially by “imperial Russia.” By the way, the opinion of the American ambassador was greatly taken into account in this regard, because America has “national interests” here, just like everywhere else.
And a couple of months ago, one of the deputies of the Russian State Duma could not stand it, and even stated that since such stubbornness is observed on the part of the Tajik authorities, then it is necessary to establish a visa regime with Tajikistan and close the border, let them take care of their citizens themselves. This is where the screeching of the “Tajik politicians” intensified to the most desperate decibels, but the majority of these “politicians” concluded that it was better to agree to a visa regime than to give in to Russia on the issue of “expansion.”
I have already written that resistance to the return of Russian border guards is connected with the interests of the Tajik drug mafia, that there are many pitfalls that determine such an “uncompromising” position of the Tajik authorities, all this does not bring honor to Dushanbe politicians, but it could provide a plot for an absurd comedy , with elements of a horror film.
The Tajik government absolutely does not want to think about what to feed and what to clothe its population, is not going to provide them with work, and does not even allow the thought that half of the population will no longer be in Russia to work, that something will have to be decided and something to do in your own republic. And if the inconvenience for us Russians from guest workers is a complex topic, because they, after all, work here, then the troubles of Russia from drug trafficking are an unambiguous topic, because this muck is ruining our youth.
But the Tajik authorities do not regret knowing about all this, they do not need it, they are not curious about the fate of women whose husbands divorce them over the phone, leaving them forever in terrible poverty, they are not worried about the fate of drug addicts, the fate of rickety children who simply have nothing to eat is not interesting and the cabinet of ministers in Dushanbe is not curious about this, especially since these ministers have something to do - they talk about sovereignty, independence and threats to Russian expansion, and, just in case, they are in a hurry to completely eradicate Russian-language education, which is why poor migrant workers are forced to be in even more difficult position without speaking Russian.
These “politicians” are not afraid, because the American ambassador gave his blessing, no one will say “talok” three times to them, no one will throw them out of life on the sidelines of poverty, they are sure that they will always swim in wealth, covering up for drug dealers and dancing in front of the Americans.
And although, the Tajik president, twice a year, has two more classes - he begs for loans from Russia, arriving in Moscow or Sochi, and then begs for the writing off of previous debts, arriving a second time. And Putin gives these loans and writes off debts, because if he had not given this money, then the “sovereign” republic would not even have enough money to buy second-class grain.
And for some reason it seems that in the next world, over time, a huge crowd of Tajik women will gather, who once had to hear a triple “talok”, who had to survive in the conditions of “independence” and see all this bestiality, and no Last Judgment on Gorbachev , Yeltsin, Gaidar and Rakhmonov will not, but they will give them, my dears, to this crowd of women. And no one will envy Gaidar, and no one will want to be in the place of Rakhmonov, or Gorbachev, not to mention Yeltsin. An angry crowd of women will beat them, venting all their unspent passion, hitting them with all their strength, and of course, there will be no forbidden blows, everyone will be allowed, the blows will be accompanied by the most delicious curses and spitting. And not a single devil will undertake to separate, no one will dare to drive these women away from those bodies that will gradually turn into pieces of meat, soulless, meaningless and worthless. And even if these little darlings recover later, nothing good will await them.
P.S. Perhaps I’ll add something, make it more specific and explain - why am I talking about all this, every now and then, why am I interested in this?
The answer is simple: I need an empire, and the Tajiks need a normal life, which an empire can give, our interests coincide. My interests diverge only from the position of the Americans and the self-interest of the current government in Dushanbe.
I want, of course, to restore the proud positions of my Motherland, to increase the number of native speakers of the Russian language, but even more I would like that, upon returning, the empire would ensure normal life in Central Asia itself, provide employment there, so that there would be no excessive flow of migrants here, and, most importantly, it would again take control of the territory that our opponents call “the underbelly of Russia,” which is now a headache and a supplier of drugs to Russia.
Yes, I need an empire, but the Tajik population needs it no less.
An increasing number of Tajik married women are being deprived of their property rights, especially if their marriage was not officially registered.
IWPR correspondents conducted a survey of Tajik married women whose marriage was officially registered and whose marriage was concluded only according to religious canons, and found a special type of discrimination that arises among divorcing couples when dividing jointly acquired property.
According to the secular legislation of Tajikistan, women have equal property rights with men and, in the event of divorce, are entitled to half of the joint property.
However, these rights are often violated by the relatives of these women's husbands, many of whom are poorly educated and therefore unaware of their legal status or lack the resources to hire a lawyer.
After divorce or the death of their husband, women usually lose their property and the roof over their heads. According to tradition, a young wife should live with her husband or his relatives.
In such cases, women have the right to file a claim in court, but even despite this, many simply do not use this right.
The legal situation of most Tajik women is very difficult. This situation is especially difficult for women living in rural areas, who usually get married without official marriage registration, limiting themselves to a Muslim wedding ceremony called “nikoh”.
Despite the growing number of weddings, the number of officially registered marriages in Tajikistan has fallen by 60 percent since 1991, according to official statistics.
In the absence of official registration of a marriage, such a marriage is invalid by law, as are any property claims arising within its framework. Since such a marriage never existed in the eyes of the law, its dissolution is a very simple matter. According to Islamic law, a man can simply say the Arabic word talaq, which means “you are divorced,” three times. In Tajikistan, instead of repeating this word three times, they often limit themselves to the phrase “se talaq” - “three talaqs”.
According to lawyer Elena Kamalova, unofficial marriages create many problems both for the women themselves and for their children.
“In practice, this means that a wife cannot register at her husband’s place of residence, cannot have common, jointly acquired property, that is, in fact she can, but according to the law such property will not be considered as such,” she says.
Children born in such a marriage cannot be registered in his name without the consent of the father and, in the event of divorce, do not have any legal status. Women in this situation do not have the right to demand alimony.
“These frivolous marriages, unfortunately, have disastrous consequences,” says a gender rights expert, “when the woman and her children often end up broke.”
The trend of religious marriages without official registration emerged after the collapse of the Soviet Union, when Tajik society returned to traditional practices, along with a decline in the influence of state institutions and the public services they provided.
An increasing number of women living below the poverty line have limited access to education and have difficulty finding work.
Women find themselves in a difficult situation - between the pressure of society, according to which they must maintain the house and look after children, on the one hand, and the need to earn money as a contribution to the overall family income, on the other. Daughters-in-law, especially young ones, have to be a servant in their husband's house and do all the menial work. While the mother-in-law controls their entire life.
“It’s no secret that conditions have changed now, and almost every woman is involved in social work outside the home,” a gender rights expert who wished to remain anonymous told IWPR.
“At home, she does the housework, takes care of sick and elderly family members, and raises children. But how many women do we know who have their own houses, country houses, plots of land, cars? Basically, all this property is registered in the name of the husband,” says the expert.
In Tajik society, where the majority of the population professes Islam, there is a gradual return to polygamy. This is partly due to the social upheaval resulting from the civil war and the economic downturn during the years of independence, which left women with little choice.
Due to the fact that polygamy is officially outlawed, second and third wives inevitably become “unofficial.”
Theoretically, clergy performing the Nikoh ritual should require the man to present a marriage certificate issued by the registry office. However, many do not follow this rule, since, in their opinion, divine blessing is much more important for many people than official registration.
“Any Muslim who wants to get married can go to any region, village, pay a mullah and perform the nikoh ritual,” says political scientist Rakhmon Ulmasov. “A mullah will never ask if he is married, if he has children, or if he can provide for his first and second family financially.”
An expert on the protection of gender rights believes that often a mullah conducts a wedding ceremony without asking unnecessary questions, since the fee for the ceremony is an important source of income for him.
Lola Jalilova, a women's rights social worker with the NGO Dilafruz from the city of Kurgan-Tube in southern Tajikistan, says she often witnessed the suffering of young women.
One such woman was Sadbarg, who turned to the group for help after her husband kicked her out of the house after five years of official marriage.
Their life together began to crumble with the arrival of her husband’s sister, Ismat, at the house. Ismat's family, and especially his mother-in-law, began accusing Sadbarg of treason, which is a disgrace in the villages of Tajikistan.
“The mother-in-law and her daughter competed, using sophisticated slander... One father-in-law was on my side, secretly reassuring me,” recalls Sadbarg.
Relatives forced Ismat to lock his wife at home, warning her: “Just try to leave the room within 6 months, you will be se talok.”
The woman continues: “I submitted for the sake of the children, in order to save the marriage, I did not leave the room for 6 months. There I cooked food, washed clothes, but never went out, saw neither the sun, nor the stars, nor the air, nor relatives, nor neighbors, nor music, nor a kind word... With this I tried to prove: I am clean.”
However, this imprisonment did not bring peace to her family - her husband's relatives continued to insist that Ismat kick Sadbarg out of the house. “In the end, the husband could not stand the pressure and gave in: “Get out of my house.” And he kicked me out with a child in my arms,” says the woman. “Now I live with my parents, but I don’t intend to remain silent any longer. I'm not a slave! And in court I will defend my right to be clean in front of people.”
The NGO Dilafruz supported Sadbarg in court, where she defended her good name. The court also ordered her to move into her husband's house.
However, Sadbarg was unable to do this as her husband Ismat told her “se talok” in the courtroom, thus de facto divorcing his wife.
OPPRESSION BY RELATIVES
Sabohat, a woman from a village on the outskirts of Dushanbe, was officially married, however, this did not stop her husband's relatives from interfering in her family. Sabohat's 15-year marriage was ruined by the arrival of her husband's sister.
When life under one roof became impossible, Sabohat’s husband, Nurullo, under pressure from relatives, filed for divorce.
Sabohat was unable to return home to her parents, where her brothers, who had already started their own families, lived. She found temporary refuge in a kindergarten. Her husband did not support her financially in any way. Last summer, the woman filed a lawsuit, which ruled in her favor.
As in the situation with Sadbarg, Sabohat’s husband declared her a divorce by saying the word “talaq”. But even in this case, the judges ordered him to provide his ex-wife with a place to live in his house plus alimony. However, Sabohat did not want to return to her husband's house.
Mutabar, a mother of three children who had been married to her husband for 18 years, found herself in a similar situation. However, her husband divorced her without her consent.
Mutabar's husband, a serviceman of the Ministry of Defense, left their home in the Vakhdat region east of Dushanbe on a long-term business trip. After these three months, he called his wife and said that he was divorcing her.
Somehow he managed to convince the registry office staff to legally formalize his divorce. This can only be done through connections and bribes, since according to Tajik law, the presence and consent of both parties is required for divorce.
But then Mutabar's husband told her that he was not divorcing her, as is socially accepted - by saying the word "talaq".
“I’m not kicking you out, we have three children,” he said, according to Mutabar. - But I'm going to bring a second wife into the house. We have enough space for everyone."
Mutabar went to court to contest the divorce. But to her surprise, the judge ruled that the divorce certificate provided by Ismat was valid. Then Mutabar filed a lawsuit for the division of their joint property, which included their three-story house. Mutabar's husband was able to drag out the process for a whole year, and when Mutabar filed a lawsuit in a higher court, the case had to start from the very beginning.
Firuza, who spoke to IWPR, has been fighting for the past ten years to protect the house her husband built in Kulyab, southern Tajikistan, before his death. When Firuza's husband fell ill for the first time, the family moved to the capital, where the husband was supposed to receive treatment. After some time, the husband's brother moved with his family to their house in Kulyab and refused to release him when Firuza became a widow.
Now, living in her father's house, Firuza has to seek justice. The Supreme Court of Tajikistan ruled in her favor, but her husband's relatives ignored it.
Like many, Firuza believes her rights were ignored because she is a woman and has no connections.
“I could have won this case quickly if my father or brother had been a prosecutor or a judge,” says Firuza.
LABOR MIGRATION HAS ADVANCED THE SITUATION OF WOMEN
Another factor affecting women's rights is the long-term absence of their husbands from home. Hundreds of thousands of Tajik citizens work in Russia and Kazakhstan, from where they send money home to provide financial support to their families.
Some leave only during the warm season, when temporary workers are hired. Others live abroad much longer or stay there altogether.
Such long-term absence leads to divorce and deterioration of relations between the wife and her husband's relatives.
Mukhayo's husband left for Russia a month after their wedding in a village in the Faizabad region. After her husband's departure, Muhayo constantly faces attacks from her mother-in-law because, according to her mother-in-law, she brought an insufficient dowry.
Mukhayo says that her mother-in-law treats her badly, lies to her husband on the phone, did not want to tell him that Mukhayo gave birth to his child, and takes most of the money he sends home from Russia.
Women's rights group INIS helped Mukhayo sue and get the money she needed to support herself and her child, who is legitimate because the marriage was officially registered. The mother-in-law said that she knew absolutely nothing about money and even about the whereabouts of her son.
The judge ruled in favor of Mukhayo and demanded that her mother-in-law return her property to her and ordered her to pay child support. Now Mukhayo is receiving money for the child and is waiting for her husband to return.
Raikhona Khakberdiyeva, who heads the Dilafruz group in Kurgan Tube, says society has not yet fully grasped the social consequences of mass migration and long-term separations.
One sign of change, in her opinion, is that among those men whose marriage was carried out according to the religious canons of “nikoh”, the trend of divorce is becoming increasingly common when they are thousands of kilometers from their wives.
“Women whose husbands divorced them over the phone come to the women’s crisis center at our organization. This is a new phenomenon in Tajikistan. It turns out that new technologies have brought harm to our women,” says Khakberdyeva.
This is the situation facing Zebo, a 25-year-old mother of two from Bokhtar district in southern Tajikistan, whose husband has found a new wife in Russia.
After he called and told her talaq, Zebo was left without a livelihood, and his family deprived her and her children of a roof over their heads.
Now Zebo depends on his 62-year-old mother Bibifotima, who receives a pension of $30 a month, and his older brother, who has four children and also works outside of Tajikistan.
The NGO Dilafruz is helping Zebo win alimony from her husband in the amount of 25% of his income. From a legal point of view, her case has little chance of winning, since Zebo's marriage is not officially registered. However, NGO staff are optimistic as several similar cases have ended successfully.
Some clergy say religious rules governing marriage and divorce have been distorted by tradition and practice.
Domullo Murodjon Sobit-zoda, the chief mullah of the Kurgantyube Cathedral Mosque, says that Islam unconditionally recognizes a woman’s right to property during a divorce.
“Leaving a woman empty-handed is contrary to Islam and the canons of Sharia. This comes from ignorance of Islamic law,” says Domullo.
Another clergy member, Domullo Saidbek, imam of the Kazi Abdurashid Mosque in Dushanbe and a renowned theologian at Termizi State Islamic University, is concerned about the rising divorce rate and injustice against women.
“They are so ambitious that they reach the point of absurdity. They call, send SMS to their wife, declaring “talaq” through their mother-in-law or their relatives, or to her herself, says Domullo Saidbek. - This contradicts Muslim law on marriage and respect for the wife as an individual, as the mother of her children, who is already humiliated and economically dependent in her husband’s home. Sharia does not recognize such divorces.”
Saidbek says that according to the teachings of the Koran, “it does not matter that the house belongs to the ex-spouse, his ex-spouse and children have every right to live in that house.”
As for divorce, here, according to Domullo Saidbek, “acquired joint property, with the condition that if the ex-wife took part in it, must be divided equitably. But the property of the wife who brought her husband into the house remains her property.”
EDUCATION IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS OF CHANGE
Women's rights experts interviewed by IWPR agree that the main problems are low levels of education and women's lack of awareness of their rights.
Today, many families living in rural areas think that their daughters do not need education. That is why, when Tajik families are faced with the question of who to spend their education money on first, the choice always falls on the boy.
“Parents, without thinking about the consequences, give their daughters in marriage, not caring about their education, and this is where their problems begin,” says Khakberdyeva.
The main thing girls should learn is how to run a home and how to care for a husband and children. IWPR already wrote about this in the material “Tajikistan: Tajik girls drop out of school” (RCA No. 481, February 2, 2007)
Now the authorities are also trying to solve this problem. This spring there was a precedent when one of the fathers in the Khatlon region was brought to justice for not allowing girls to attend school. Teachers at schools say girls' attendance has improved since widespread publicity about the case.
An expert on the protection of gender rights in an interview with IWPR noted that a set of effective measures is needed and the combined efforts of civil society and government authorities are needed.
“Local authorities are obliged to control and register marriages, issuing a marriage certificate, and then only the nikoh ceremony,” says the expert. “This is their direct competence.”
A local group, the Center for Gender Education, provides information and advice to women on defending their rights in court. This organization also provides free defense of women's interests in court. In addition, the group conducted practical training throughout the country to improve the legislative competence of women's rights centers and advocacy groups.
The project is being implemented with financial support from the US Embassy in partnership with the NGO Coalition of Tajikistan “From Legal Equality to Actual Equality” to jointly implement the recommendations of the UN Committee on the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women.
Mukammal Odinaeva, freelance journalist, and Lola Olimova, IWPR Tajikistan editor
