Bullying a child - learn to resist. If a child is called names at school: recommendations for parents How to respond if you are called names at school

The child is teased by his peers at school. Who is not familiar with this situation? It often comes to the point that a little person begins to perceive kindergarten or school as a place where he is bullied. This inevitably affects his self-esteem, academic performance and state of mind. How to act in this situation?

Children have their own code of conduct, and with the help of offensive words, “pencil kids” often try to “call to order” violators of unwritten laws. Yabeda-koryabeda, greedy-beef, roar-cow - these teasers, passed down from generation to generation, can bring any child to tears. As the child grows up, the ridicule directed at him becomes harsher.

Already at school, some children begin to divide their classmates into the best, to whom they consider themselves, and the worst, to which they include the “target” chosen for bullying. This “class division” can occur along different lines. The most obvious is appearance: extra centimeters at the waist or, on the contrary, conspicuous thinness, hair color, glasses, height, nose shape...

Often the reason for ridicule at school is academic performance, and the “extreme” student can be both a poor student and an excellent student. The latter, by the way, is even more vulnerable, since the successes of the “know-it-all” haunt the less diligent students. After all, the “prodigy” is treated kindly by the teacher’s attention, which causes envy among those in whose heads sarcastic jokes ripen very quickly.

The most merciless tease for a parent's wallet concerns items of clothing and toys. An unfashionable dress, an outdated mobile phone - all this and much more can become a reason for verbal harassment.

Why is a child teased at school? What to do?

If a child is teased at school and he perceives this painfully, parental intervention in solving this problem is mandatory.

In kindergarten, those who are usually subjected to ridicule are those who cannot fight back and “shed a tear” every time. You can’t leave it to chance - they say, the children will figure it out on their own. As well as feeling sorry for the offended person in front of the bullies. First you need to listen to the child and explain to him what he is doing wrong. If he is greedy, imagines or constantly complains to the teacher about other children, then their reaction is quite understandable, as well as what should be advised to the child.

Since it is still difficult for kindergarteners to control their behavior (when offended, they cry or use their fists), teach your child to resolve conflicts peacefully - for example, with the help of excuses.

Every parent will remember “ricochet words” from their childhood: “Whoever calls you names is called that himself!”, “If you speak to me, you translate to yourself!”, “Well, why are you all about yourself and about yourself, but nothing about me?” words!". For these excuses to be effective, they must be said while remaining absolutely calm. After all, a violent reaction only fuels the passion of the pursuers.

If a wave of bullying hits a child in elementary school and he himself cannot stop it, adults should understand the causes of the conflict by talking with teachers and parents of the bullies.

But counting on unquestioned parental authority when the child and his “tormentors” are already teenagers is naive. If you start scolding or intimidating, you will only make the situation worse. Firstly, your child will burn with shame from such care, and you will be considered almost enemy number one. And secondly, the “uncultured children” whom you undertook to guide on the right path will most likely consider your child a weakling and begin to mock him even more than ever. What to do?

How to eliminate the reason why your child is teased at school?

You can help the offended person by identifying the reason for the ridicule. For example, we advise an excellent student to brag less about his successes, and a young champion not to boast about his sporting achievements.

If a child studies poorly, there is no point in scolding him. It should be explained that there is nothing shameful in unsatisfactory grades, and therefore, when something is not clear, you need to try to understand the material - do not hesitate to ask the teacher with questions.

“Non-standard shape” can be corrected by changing your diet and physical activity. Moreover, you need to not only tell the child what to eat and how to pump up the abs, but also help him with this. Maybe even keep him company.

A stylish frame will help a “bespectacled” person transform into a “handsome guy”, and the right clothes will raise self-esteem and “status”. Of course, you shouldn’t follow the lead of a child who plaintively whines “I want it like Masha’s” or “like Sasha’s.” Moreover, it is almost impossible to keep up with fashion and constant updating of gadgets. In this case, it is better to be guided not by the whims of the child, but by his preferences and his own financial capabilities.

By the way, in this case, an excursion into the lives of successful people, ideally the child’s idols, will be useful. After all, not all of them are built like models or tough guys from blockbuster movies. And if you delve into their past, it will probably turn out that some features of their appearance, now considered a highlight, were once the object of ridicule from their peers.

Often, however, having eliminated one reason for the attacks, the child immediately receives a new portion of verbal poison. Yesterday they found fault with being fat, today with glasses, tomorrow with a backpack or pencil case, and so on ad infinitum. In this case, it is obvious that the issue is not some “flaws” of the personality.

They cling to a child only because it upsets him or makes him angry. Parents must convey this idea to their child. After all, by reacting painfully to verbal injections, the child gives a lot of pleasure to his offenders and kindles in them the desire to continue the bullying. If he understands this and tries to control his emotions, the situation will begin to improve.

However, you need to be prepared for the fact that bullies will first increase the barrage of insults, and then, realizing that the target has ceased to feel like a victim, they will lose interest in him.

A smart child (with an IQ above average) is much more adapted to life. And an excellent online service allows you to develop a child’s intelligence, which can help him gain authority in the classroom. The child will be able to prepare for school in a playful way, at home. Link to service: _https://iqsha.ru/?i=2658701

The child's first or last name often becomes a reason for ridicule. This should be taken into account by those parents who choose unusual names for their children. With the light hand of just such creative mothers and fathers, babies were born with the names Prince, Cherry, Flower, Keith, Casper, etc. Most often, exotic names are given to children in families where one of the parents is - foreigner. However, Russians have increasingly begun to name their babies rare Slavic names. Today in some kindergartens there are more Dobryn and Velimirov than Sashek and Alyoshek, and there are no less girls named Milana, Golub and Zlata than An and Svet.

One might assume that children with pretentious names will have a hard time because of the ridicule of their peers, but their parents, unfortunately, do not think about it. For example, it is assumed that the bearer of the Slavic name Svyatogor is a creative, sensible, sociable person. However, it is obvious that at school such a boy will be called nothing more than Traffic Light. Or let’s take the ancient Slavic maiden name Vlasta (Lord). When pronouncing it, the first sound is often “lost”, and as a result, others hear Lasta instead of Vlast. The parents affectionately call the girl Swallow. Beautiful? Yes! But at school, expect a different comparison - with swimming equipment. And this is already a shame!

What to do if your child is teased at school?

Do you want your child to have no problems communicating with peers? Teach him to make friends, encourage them to visit your home, watch the children communicate. In general, teach him to be interesting in any campaign. Simply put, teach him to communicate. And may there be wise books and useful articles to help you. And I will try to make them like that.

Hello, Alina!
You write that you have a difficult situation at school, your relationships with classmates are not going well... I want to express my support to you!
Unfortunately, this phenomenon often occurs in schools. When children choose the person whom they begin to call names, mock him, literally “poison him.” This is how these people try to hide their own weakness, limited interests and abilities from others. It's a pity that this happened to you, but good on you for looking for ways to solve the problem!
Of course, if possible, enlist the support of your parents. If you have a close, trusting relationship, it will be easier for you not to keep your experiences to yourself. It would also be great to talk to the school psychologist. However, if such options do not suit you for some reason, you will have to act on your own.
Try to establish friendship with one of the guys, maybe even in another group (for example, in a sports or art section). In general, try to develop and take care of what interests you, this will help you strengthen your inner core, maintain a sense of integrity, increase self confidence .
You should not answer the offenders in kind, get into a quarrel, prove something, make excuses. Remember that the most valuable thing for them is your negative emotions.
Your question does not provide detailed descriptions of how exactly conflicts occur in school. To make it easier for you to be in such an atmosphere, try this technique: imagine yourself as your favorite heroine, actress, maybe one of the adults whom you greatly respect. If someone starts teasing, ask yourself the question: How would this character behave now in my place?
Also try to internally distance yourself from what is happening, imagine that you are watching a film in a cinema or what is happening in the square from a high balcony.
Your reaction may be unexpected for the offenders, at first the attacks may even intensify, but over time, one of the guys may even want to be friends with you - because you are a strong Personality.
I wish you good luck, finding reliable friends and the right path to solving the problem!

What to do if you are called names at school

Hello Alina!
I understand that this happens. When I was at school, I was not the strongest and tallest boy in the class and they also tried to call me names and I was even offended at first. And it also seemed to me that everything was directly against me. And then I suddenly realized that if, say, they called me “Goat,” then I really didn’t become one. I should grieve if I really am the “Goat”. But I felt the head - there were no horns, no hair, no tail, no hooves. I'm definitely not an asshole. And if someone calls me names, then one can only feel sorry for him, because he does not see the obvious (there is something wrong with his eyesight, or with his brain). I realized that we begin to be offended when we even believe a little in what they say about us. Therefore, you just need to be aware of who you are and live on without paying attention to those who earn points for themselves in this way. When I realized this, I saw that not everyone wants to call me names; there are those who do not. I started communicating with them and found friends among them. Soon the name-callers also stopped. They were no longer interested. After all, it is not interesting to offend someone who is not offended. And you know how valuable the friends you find when you stop being offended. Take a closer look around, maybe not everyone is making fun of you? I wish you happiness, confidence and new trusted friends.

The child is teased at school. It doesn’t matter what exactly was the reason for this for classmates - tall or, on the contrary, short stature, some other flaw in appearance, character trait, and so on. “Teases,” offensive nicknames, and constant ridicule traumatize a child, especially if he is naturally vulnerable and shy.

There are times when this situation gets out of control and becomes irreversible. The child perceives it as nothing other than a place where he is bullied. This can affect his self-esteem, his academic performance, and ultimately his state of mind.

What should parents do in this case? What should you do if your child is teased by classmates, if because of the ridicule he does not want to go to school?

Psychologists advise parents not to interfere, at least openly, in their children’s conflict. Your intervention will not cause other children to treat your child differently.

Classmates will not stop teasing, they will not understand that they are hurting someone. On the contrary, it is likely that the intercession of elders will finally turn classmates against your child. They won’t play with him on equal terms, they won’t accept him into their company - he’s a “sneak”, he couldn’t cope on his own, but he brought his parents.

Thus, the desire to personally deal with the offenders or the demand that the teacher use her authority to “stop this bullying” will most likely lead to the isolation of the child among his peers. In addition, the baby will draw one more conclusion: he is not able to cope with difficulties on his own, he needs the help of adults. This will deprive him of self-esteem and self-confidence. And, paradoxically, it will prevent him from respecting his own parents. After all, the child turned to them for help, and their intervention only worsened his situation.

How can you help your child who is being bullied at school?

Some parents advise their children to deal with offenders using the most effective methods. In most cases, such advice boils down to one thing: clarify the relationship directly, openly asking what does not suit the scoffers. Often these clarifications immediately turn into a fight, in which the one who is right does not always win.

To be fair, it must be said that such tactics sometimes lead to positive results. Participation in a fight, even if the victory was not absolute, quite often helps the child to assert himself. But you shouldn’t get carried away with this.

English psychologist Doris Brett, a practicing physician and an experienced specialist in child psychology, believes that one should not allow a child to become convinced that any problem can be solved with fists. On the contrary, it would be useful to show that it is possible to get out of the current situation with honor in other ways, and to let the child understand that he is quite capable of this.

To do this, the child will need the help of his parents, who must convince him that it is not the one who is being teased who is in trouble, but the one who is doing it. The child should be made to understand that a completely happy and satisfied person with himself, his appearance, his character and a confident person will not pay attention to the shortcomings of others, even if these shortcomings are real.

There is a completely effective way to deal with offenders: do not show how these “teasers” offend you, do not make it clear that you take them to heart.

Dr. Brett suggests the conversation go something like this:

“Are you complaining that Ira teases you all the time, and other girls pick up her words? I understand that this is terribly unpleasant. To such an extent that you want to cry. But you can’t solve the problem with tears. Tell me, did you cry at school? To the point of tears it didn't work out, but you got upset, and the girls saw it? So, after that, did they immediately stop teasing you? Start treating you better? No, it was quite the opposite.

So let's think about what we should do? Of course I can talk to them. But it seems to me that as soon as I leave and you are left alone, everything will start again. How do you think?

Maybe we’ll do it differently: no matter how difficult it is, you’ll pretend that their words make you very funny. Yes, it's not easy. But think about what Ira and her friends are trying to achieve? Make you upset. And so far this has happened.

And you try to do differently. Smile. Think about it, girls spend so much effort and time to make you sad. It's really funny and stupid.

Why do you think Ira so wants to draw the attention of other guys to your shortcomings? She probably isn't very confident in herself, otherwise she wouldn't do this. If you laugh, you will show that all her words are just nonsense, and she is not acting very smart. And others will soon understand this. And they will also understand: if these words make you laugh, then all the “teasing” is not about you, and laughing at you will become completely uninteresting.”

As Dr. Brett notes, practice shows that convincing a child that such behavior is indeed a realistic way out of the situation can be difficult. And here, as always, a clear example will help. Tell your child how you or one of your friends or relatives found yourself in a similar situation at one time.

The name of a famous actor, athlete or just a person you know who managed to cope with a similar situation thanks to such a simple but effective method will also make a great impression.

It is necessary to try to convince the child that he needs to act on his own. “After all, mom and dad won’t always be by your side. This means you need to learn to protect yourself on your own.” As for the question of transferring a child who is teased by classmates to another school, it is impossible to give a definite answer. It all depends on the specific situation. The vast majority of psychologists advise trying to sort out the conflict that has arisen on the spot, regardless of whether you transfer the child to another school or leave it in the same one. Otherwise, a relapse of the same conflict situation may well arise in the new team. After all, the child simply ran away “from the battlefield.” And such a humiliating situation for him (he found himself a loser without even trying to win) will certainly make itself felt in the new place. The school may be different, but the parents transferred the burden of problems along with their son or daughter to this team. And if the situation in the new school repeats itself, the child, instead of defending his position, will again want to simply avoid further troubles and leave all the difficulties behind, shifting the burden onto the shoulders of the parents.

Before your child goes to a new class, it is recommended to talk with him, analyze the reasons for the conflict that has arisen, and discuss together what needs to be done to prevent the recurrence of troubles in the new place. It often happens that the established reputation of a “crybaby”, “quiet”, “tough” does not allow a child to establish relationships with classmates, even if, on the advice of his parents, he changes his behavior.

Changing behavior without preparation is extremely difficult even for an adult; old habits often take over, and this is par for the course. Explain to your child that this is quite natural, because he is not a robot. Let the child remain himself, but try to be more self-critical, monitor his behavior and not repeat previous mistakes.

Comment on the article "If a child is teased at school"

We solved this problem with the help of the teacher, thank you very much for preventing it in time

27.09.2008 14:15:50

This is something similar that my parents advised me... Nonsense, a hundred times nonsense! A person who can advise this simply does not know what real bullying is. “Girls want you to be sad... and you smile...” Sorry for the harshness, but it’s unpleasant to read. Is this a cartoon plot or advice for real life? It only works in fairy tales, but in life, when I smiled in response to verbal ridicule, then they tore my notebook, or knocked my briefcase out of my hands, or threw a rag in my face... And even then I smiled, because my tears made me laugh they are even a hundred times stronger.
How can you help? Don't know. Now I look back and think that there were only two ways to help me - either transfer me to another school (honestly, I don’t understand why my parents didn’t do this), or consult with a child psychologist, because even then I guessed that the problem in myself (were there only child psychologists 25 years ago?)...

But I’m interested in something else, I understand that there are children who are teased, but what should you do if a child who was allegedly called a name or teased provokes it, let’s say he himself said an offensive word and provoked him to be called a name) So parents also encourage this)
There is such a thing)

Total 8 messages .

Let's declutter

Much has been written about how important it is to be able to let go and complete the old and outdated. Otherwise, they say, the new one will not come (the place is occupied), and there will be no energy. Why do we nod when reading such articles that motivate us to clean, but everything still remains in its place? We find thousands of reasons to put aside what we have put aside and throw it away. Or don’t start clearing out rubble and storage rooms at all. And we already habitually scold ourselves: “I’m completely cluttered, I need to pull myself together.”
Being able to easily and confidently throw away unnecessary things becomes a mandatory program for a “good housewife”. And often - a source of another neurosis for those who for some reason cannot do this. After all, the less we do “right” - and the better we can hear ourselves, the happier we live. And the more correct it is for us. So, let’s figure out whether it’s really necessary for you personally to declutter.

The art of communicating with parents

Parents often love to teach their children, even when they are old enough. They interfere in their personal lives, advise, condemn... It gets to the point that children do not want to see their parents because they are tired of their moral teachings.

What to do?

Accepting flaws. Children must understand that it will not be possible to re-educate their parents; they will not change, no matter how much you want them to. Once you accept their shortcomings, it will be easier for you to communicate with them. You will simply stop expecting a different relationship than you had before.

How to prevent cheating

When people start a family, no one, with rare exceptions, even thinks about starting relationships on the side. And yet, according to statistics, families most often break up precisely because of infidelity. Approximately half of men and women cheat on their partners within a legal relationship. In short, the number of faithful and unfaithful people is distributed 50 to 50.

Before we talk about how to protect a marriage from cheating, it is important to understand

The child is called names and why this happens. Ways to determine the occurrence of ridicule towards your child. Help from parents to children who have been bullied.

The content of the article:

Calling a child names is a problem that concerns not only offended children, but also their parents. Such attacks can come from very young provocateurs, as well as from middle (high) school students. Some insults in children's groups take on such a scale that they then turn into oppression and bullying. You should not react calmly to such things, because in most cases such bullying pushes the child to attempt suicide.

Why do they call and tease a child?

Before we begin to solve the problem in detail, it is necessary to understand the origins of the situation that has arisen. In most cases, a child is teased for the following reasons:

Difference in social status. In some children's groups, they mock those outcasts whose parents cannot afford their son or daughter to buy expensive things. In this case, everything depends on the character of the child, because often people from poor families are leaders in kindergarten or school. With rather aggressive behavior they compensate for the financial insolvency of their parents.
Physical handicap. It can be expressed both in the limited capabilities of children and in some defects in the child in the form of excess weight. It is for this reason that peers begin to come up with all sorts of offensive nicknames, which are then firmly attached to victims of child cruelty.
Problems with intellectual development. Parents are not always ready to send their beloved child to a class with mental retardation (mental retardation) or to a specialized institution. At the same time, they risk that in kindergarten and secondary school their child will be called names and given unflattering characteristics.
Independent opinion. Not every children's group will accept that rebel whose opinion is radically different from generally accepted concepts. White crows are usually disliked and they try in every possible way to destroy their individuality by calling them names.
Funny first or last name. Parents should carefully consider what to name their baby. Quite often, offensive nicknames appear after associating the child's initials with offensive comparisons.
Problematic family. Dad or mom may abuse alcohol and actively search for another “partner” in life. All this affects their reputation, which instantly becomes known to literally everyone. Some parents allow themselves to discuss the families of their children's classmates, which then leads to the organization of bullying of a child with a difficult fate.
Misbehavior of the victim. In some cases, children themselves are to blame for being called names. Being aggressors by nature, they themselves turn the collective against themselves.
Incorrectness of the teacher. Sometimes the educator or teacher himself may inadvertently (even intentionally) give a nickname to one of his students. This behavior of adults who enjoy authority is happily picked up by local little hooligans.

You must first understand the reason for the aggression of other children towards your child. It is here that one should look for ways to resolve the conflict, which can create an inferiority complex in the victim of offenders for life.

Key signs that a child is being called names

It is far from always possible to understand that your beloved offspring has problems either with individual children or with the team in general. Psychologists advise parents to be wary of this factor if their offspring begins to behave rather strangely.

There are five stages of development of a voiced conflict:

Reluctance to attend child care. Similar behavior can occur in a child who has joined a new team. This is a natural process, because during this period the child or teenager adapts to an environment that he has not previously recognized. Otherwise, it is imperative to understand the reasons for the reluctance to communicate with society.
Simulating various diseases. During the summer and holidays, children of all ages are offered a range of recreational activities. If a child is called names by individuals, he will invent any kind of ailment for himself in order to avoid contact with the offenders.
Aggression to any criticism. One of the reasons for such an outburst of negativity on loved ones may be the bullying of children outside the walls of their home. In this case, the child withdraws into himself, and then instantly boils over if his parents reprimand him.
Lack of friends. If a son or daughter is by nature shy and reserved, then they may strive for loneliness. In another situation, you should be concerned that your beloved child is avoiding his peers.
Bruises and abrasions. In this case, it is worth sounding the alarm, because the conflict in the children's team has reached its climax. It is realistic to believe your own offspring only once that he stumbled and was seriously hurt in the process. If the matter became systematic, then the name-calling of the little victim turned into physical violence against her.

Attention! It is important not to miss the moment when the situation gets completely out of control. When asked what to do if a child is called names, you simply need to turn from an outside observer into an active participant in the unfolding actions.

What should parents do if their child is called names?

You can help your children get rid of the ridicule of little provocateurs only if you take into account the age of your son or daughter. It's one thing to resolve conflict among kids, but it's another thing entirely to try to sort out disagreements between older children.

Solving the problem of child humiliation in kindergarten

The voiced clash between the warring parties during this period of personality maturation is complicated by the fact that they spend almost the whole day away from their parents. A child is called names in kindergarten; what to do is one of the main questions with which the older generation of the family turns to specialists. Psychologists reassure moms and dads by explaining to them that parents can influence unfavorable events in the following ways:

Conversation with the teacher. At the same time, you should not be ashamed to contact a teacher. Firstly, he will understand that the fate of his little ward is not indifferent to his parents. Secondly, during such confidential conversations, dad and mom will be aware of all the problems that are happening with their child.
Game approach to problem solving. At this age, children open up most during such time together with their parents. Having relaxed and become excited about some kind of game, they are able to tell dads and moms about the problems they have in the garden. You can invite them to name their favorite toy, and identify the object that scares or irritates them as their real offender.
Magic word game. Even children need to begin to be taught to recognize their own worth. In the same playful way, they should show them an example of how best to respond to a child who calls them names. During this period, kind words in response to mockery quite often put a blockade between the instigator of the scandal and the potential victim.
Maximum moral support. The inner world of a small child is so vulnerable that in many cases it can be destroyed to the ground without the wise advice and approval of the parents. At the first signs that a child is being called names in kindergarten, it is necessary to show him how dear he is to his own family.
Permission to take interesting things. Many parents prohibit taking expensive toys with them to kindergarten. They are partly right in their decision, because such gifts are obtained through hard work. However, from time to time it is worth entrusting your little one to take some popular children's magazines, coloring books, dolls or construction sets to their peers for consideration.
Conversations about the inadmissibility of violence. Some fathers and mothers are sure that it is simply pointless to instill the basics of universal morality in preschool children. Psychologists say that such a misconception can cost would-be educators dearly in the future. At best, they give their offspring recommendations like “hit him back” or “insult him even more offensively.” You should always be able to stand up for yourself, but dealing solely with your fists with those who call you names is unforgivable behavior.
Translation of a nickname as a joke. A sense of humor as a protective shield must be developed from a very early age. No one will touch a person who knows how to laugh at himself. Such a recommendation is quite difficult to implement, but if you want to help your child, you need to apply all your pedagogical wisdom. To Leshka (Antoshka)-potatoes, you can answer the kid that he is chips, and most people love them.
Thematic animated films. Children will not understand serious films, but they are quite capable of understanding entertaining animations. In this case, psychologists recommend organizing a joint viewing of the cartoon “Scarecrow-Meow”, where a cheerful kitten became a victim of ridicule and name-calling.

At this age, resolving the voiced conflict is quite simple. However, if adults ignore it, they will have to face the question of what to do if a child is called names at school. In this case, play methods are not enough, so you should not be so negligent in raising your children.

Methods to combat child humiliation at school

As your offspring grows, it is necessary to more carefully monitor their behavior. To avoid being bullied by his peers, it is recommended that wise fathers and mothers behave as follows:

Constant contact with the class teacher. In this case, we are talking not only about control over one’s own child, but also the ability to monitor his environment. It is the teacher who is responsible for the class who is always aware of all the things that are happening in the children's team.
Communication with a school psychologist and social worker. After talking with the class teacher, you need to talk with the voiced specialists. If there is a real problem, they will diagnose their ward and give recommendations to the teacher on how to improve the microclimate in the children's team.
Building a sense of self-confidence. A child who initially feels like an outcast will never become a full-fledged member of the children's team. It is the parents who will be able to restore self-confidence to their beloved child through reasonable encouragement of his desires.
Coordination of all actions with the child. When solving the problem raised, psychologists recommend that you definitely involve the injured party in your plans. Failure to follow this advice can not only aggravate the conflict situation that has arisen, but also permanently lose the trust of your child.
Conversation about the leadership position. If we are talking about the fact that the offspring himself caused a negative reaction from the children's team, then it is necessary to act extremely delicately. It is necessary to explain to the presumptuous child that not everything in this life is given for nothing. The main thing is to tell your offspring that in the end the winner is the one who was able to remain silent in time.
Teaching your child the same type of answers. It is quite often possible to stop provocateurs with the help of template phrases. At first, the offenders will begin to parry in response to barbs from the chosen victim. However, over time, they will get tired of hearing phrases like “you know better”, “I’ll think about it tomorrow” or “okay?” when provoked.
Development of irony in a child. Learning to laugh at yourself is the first step to solving the problem of child name-calling. Parents themselves must learn the basics of making jokes without offending their opponent. The child must be taught to use irony in response to outright insults. Phrases like “a man is not a dog, he doesn’t throw himself at bones” are suitable for teenage girls. When ridiculing the last name or first name of children with obvious achievements, you should remind them that whatever you name the yacht, that’s how it will sail.
Involvement in fashion activities. Very often the attention of classmates is attracted by those children who are creative individuals. In this case, even non-standard teenagers in the team become popular people. An example of such a transformation can be the film “Practice”, where young Dmitry Kharatyan once starred, who became a member of a musical group in this production.
Involvement in sports. Firstly, in the future there will be few people willing to call out a classmate who attends the same boxing or karate. Secondly, after such training the child himself will feel more confident not only physically, but also mentally.
Talking about personal hygiene. Sometimes it is the parents themselves who are to blame for the fact that their child is being bullied at school. From an early age it is necessary to instill in him that people are greeted not only by their clothes. Mom and dad can buy super expensive things for their child, but at the same time he will look like a slob.
Voicing correct examples. If a child has complexes that peers make fun of, you should tell him about the history of famous people. Famous bespectacled people - Bill Gates, Johnny Depp and Justin Timberlake. The short ones in the form of Danny DeVito and Peter Dinklage are considered magnificent. This list can be continued endlessly, but the main thing is to convey the essence that famous personalities also once successfully overcame their complexes.
Using tricks. Even if in such a situation the parents have not had problems in the past with bullying, it is necessary to turn into professional actors for a while. Psychologists recommend telling your offspring a story about how their older generation once successfully avoided name-calling.
Help in choosing friends. In this case, it is very suitable to realize the folk wisdom that in most cases the worm wears away the apple. Sometimes it is imaginary friends who then provoke the organization of persecution of a person they dislike. They need to be identified and then access to their child is blocked.
Organization of child communication outside of school. A fairly effective way is to invite classmates to your house to spend leisure time together. You can organize watching films that are interesting specifically for children of this age. In this case, any leisure time will be beneficial, because the conflicting parties will definitely make peace in advance.

How should teachers behave if they call a child names?

In many cases, it is those who sow the reasonable, good and eternal who should think about the behavior of their charges. At the same time, teachers are recommended to adhere to the following rules in order to stop bullying the victim chosen by the team:

Collaboration with the administration. It was not for nothing that people said that one head is good, but two are better. Only in tandem with management will help stop the bullying of a particular child. In no case should such a problem be hushed up in a children's group, because it can end very disastrously.
Clear distinction between victim and persecutor. The so-called “equalization” in children’s conflicts will be a serious pedagogical mistake. If a child is called names and at the same time he was reprimanded by the educator (teacher) on a par with the provocateur, then he may lose trust in people for many years.
Themed classroom hours. In order to prevent conflicts in the children's team, the norms by which a civilized society should live should be explained to the wards. In this case, the themes “Language is my enemy”, “You can strike with a word” and “Take on the situation for yourself” are suitable.
Proper distribution of responsibilities. Quite often, joint action helps to reconcile the offender and his victim. At the same time, it is worth assessing the capabilities of the child who is being called names and inviting him to do something in which he can show himself to his advantage. Having risen in the eyes of his peers and thus gained authority, the victim can become a leader in a children's team.
Organization of KTD (collective creative activity). Hiking trips, trips to historical places, and organizing KVN help bring children together. The same Bespectacled Man will explain things to his peers that they do not understand, and Lop-Eared will make the audience laugh to tears with his performance at some competition that is significant for the children’s group.
"Parent's School". Teachers systematically need to teach fathers and mothers how to behave correctly with their children. To do this, it is necessary to organize general meetings, lectures, debates and open days.

Common mistakes when teasing a child

Every father and mother tries to protect their children as much as possible. However, such zeal quite often brings completely the opposite result. In order not to aggravate the fact that a child has been accused of bullying, parents should avoid the following mistakes in their zeal to restore justice on their own:

Personal reprisal against offenders. It’s worth immediately remembering that although we are talking about bullies and provocateurs, we are still talking about children. An adult who deals with a child bully on equal terms does not deserve respect. In addition, such actions quite often end in tears precisely for parents who decide to commit lynching.
Instilling false concepts. Doris Brett, a world-famous Australian psychologist, authoritatively asserts that in no case should a child be taught to fight back an offender using physical force. Only in extreme situations can you stand up for yourself if violence is no longer possible.
Verbal blackmail of the parents of the offenders. Some fathers and mothers roll up their sleeves and bravely rush to protect their child in the most unwise way. The first thing they do is seek a meeting with the parents of the child who is calling them names, and declare a vendetta on them. Psychologists consider such behavior to be wrong, because the older generation will join the warring younger generation.
Moral “finishing off” of the victim of persecution. This anti-pedagogical process especially concerns dads whose children are called names by their peers. They are violently indignant about this and call their child a wimp and a slob who is not able to give a worthy rebuff to offenders.
Complaint about the teaching staff. For some parents, when a problem arises, the school ends up being to blame. Their child is called names, they don’t know how to react, what to do. Consequently, teachers have overlooked and it is necessary to find justice for them in higher authorities. Parents are primarily responsible for their children, and the school is not a safe deposit box where they hand over their beloved children.
Transfer to another kindergarten (school). Such a warning can be interpreted in different ways. In some cases, a child prodigy who is being bullied by children should be transferred to a college or high school. In a new environment, he will not look like a black sheep and will quickly find friends. However, quite often the sum does not change when the terms are rearranged.

Important! Parents should be as tactful as possible when their child is called names by other children. Breaking is easier than building, so you should learn to restrain yourself even in such a tense situation.

What to do if you call your child names - watch the video:

A child is called names, how to react - a question that requires immediate adult intervention. Otherwise, the situation could reach such proportions as in the film “Scarecrow”, where the main role was played by young Kristina Orbakaite. The bullying of a chosen victim by a group of children is not at all a harmless joke. In especially severe cases, due to the inaction of adults, their child may suffer severely, both morally and physically.