Helping parents raise their children. Consequences of improper parenting. Online psychological assistance to young parents in raising a child

Very often you can hear from parents of already grown children that they did not grow up as expected. What mistakes parents make in raising children were admitted.

Greetings, dear readers of the blog of psychoanalyst Oleg Matveev, I wish you mental health.

Let's look at the most common mistakes parents make in raising children.

  • Negative assessment of the child's activities. A child should not be told: “You don’t know how to build, draw, etc.” In these cases, the child cannot maintain the motivation for this type of activity and loses self-confidence.
  • A negative assessment of a child’s activities should not be allowed to extend to his personality. This blocks the child’s development and forms an inferiority complex. The neurotic development of a child begins with the experience of low self-esteem caused by the attitude of adults.
  • Intonation and the emotional coloring of the statement addressed to the child are very important. Children of early and even preschool age react not only to the content of an adult’s statement, but also to the emotional connotation that contains the attitude towards the child
  • It is unacceptable to compare a child (his deeds and actions) with someone else, he cannot be opposed to anyone, such comparisons are, on the one hand, psychologically traumatic, and on the other, they form negativism, selfishness and envy.
  • Parents must create a system of relationships with the child in which he will perceive himself only favorably (as the norm). Only in this case will he be able to react normally to other people’s successes without lowering his self-esteem
  • The main function of the family is to ensure that the child’s ability to socially adapt is based on his capabilities. Parents must learn to regulate the degree of psychological stress on the child, which should not exceed his capabilities.
  • In relations with a child, a sharp transition from only positive assessments to sharply negative ones, from a punishing tone to affectionate cajoling, is unacceptable.

Adjust your parent-child relationship and try to prevent mistakes in raising children.

I wish everyone psychological well-being!
Psychological assistance to parents in raising children

Psychological assistance to families in raising a child

2.2 Social, pedagogical and psychological assistance to parents in raising a child

Only with the joint efforts of parents and teachers can the upbringing of children give a positive result. It is impossible to raise a comprehensively developed and purposeful personality if teachers and parents cannot unite in tandem. Only in the process of well-coordinated joint activity of such a tandem will children develop consciousness, as well as accumulate experience of correct behavior in different life situations. With social and pedagogical assistance in raising a child, children become noticeably more decisive and active, more persistent in achieving any goal.

A social teacher should provide assistance to parents in raising their child. He must protect the rights of the student and solve his social problems. A social educator works with students, teachers and parents.

To effectively help in raising a child, a teacher must have all the information about the formative role of an individual family and the dependence of this role on the value priorities of family members. Then the teacher can easily determine how relationships in the family affect the child’s character, his behavioral reactions and personal development. Therefore, in his work, the teacher must use various forms of communication with parents in order to find out the characteristics of relationships in the family.

A social teacher helps to overcome conflict situations with parents and students in the classroom. He can use various counseling techniques to help parents. This is persuasion, emotional contagion, suggestion, mini-trainings, artistic analogues. Along with group methods of work, individual advisory conversations can be used.

At a parent meeting, together with the class teacher, the teacher develops a program for educational work, discusses the problems and successes of both the entire class and each student. If he has questions about the upbringing of any student, he invites the child’s parents to an individual meeting. When meeting with parents, he gives professional advice and discusses the principles of education.

To assist in raising a child, teachers can conduct classroom activities. Events like these help bring the class team closer together. They help to find mutual understanding and a common language, to show family hobbies and individual abilities. Both students and their parents can take part in joint activities. The teacher observes families in a relaxed atmosphere and then plans educational work, taking into account the characteristics of each family.

Psychological assistance to families in raising a child includes a large number of areas of specialist activity. A psychologist can give parents appropriate recommendations related to raising a child. If necessary, the specialist can refer the child to auxiliary or special schools for additional consultation with a speech therapist or psychoneurologist.

A child psychologist will help determine a child’s readiness for school and identify the causes of learning difficulties. He can also give recommendations for the child’s further professional guidance.

Psychological assistance in raising a child should be aimed at problems that are caused by psychological reasons and based on psychological influence.

First of all, the child psychologist conducts a conversation with the parents. They tell him about the child and the problems associated with raising him. He then talks to each parent individually. This is necessary to clarify and eliminate the cause of the deterioration of the relationship between the child and parents.

A psychologist sometimes visits a child at home in order to better study the psychological microclimate in the family.

A conversation with a child is the most responsible job of a psychologist. Thanks to the variety of psychological methods, a psychologist most often manages to influence a child’s behavior and reveal his soul.

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When working with children, mutual respect and communication with parents is important. If there is no contact with parents (in my opinion), there will be no contact with children. Children feel the teacher’s attitude towards his family. All parents love their children, but do not always know what to do in this or that case. Consultations can help with this. I hope this is exactly the case.

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Preview:

Consultation “How can I make him obey?”

A question that some mothers often ask.

From time to time, every mother has moments when she loses control over her children.

“Do you really want your child to listen to you?”

If you observe some mothers trying to force their child to be disciplined, you will see a curious situation from which it is almost impossible to determine what the main difficulty is. When analyzing parental mistakes, it is necessary to take into account that the mistakes of others are always more visible, so we need to help and not condemn. For example, a few cases:

...A mother sees her three-year-old child playing with a cup filled with milk. But mom doesn’t pay attention to this and continues to go about her business. Then she still orders the child: “Stop fooling around!” And she turns away, without even making sure whether her child obeyed. The next thing she notices is that the milk has already been spilled.

Result: the mother punishes the baby.

...The mother threatens the child all day long: “I’ll put you to bed,” “I’ll call the doctor,” “I’ll spank you.”

But her threats have no effect on the child, because... he already understands that she will not keep her promises.

Some parents, faced with similar situations in their relationships with their children, while worrying about some other problems, seem to cease to be adults capable of making the right decision. In such cases, they begin to “fight” children at their own level, as if they themselves had turned into naughty children.

Every healthy child can do a lot on his own. In most cases, he can be relied upon if he feels that he is trusted and responsible for something. Almost all young children want to please their parents, because they are the people with whom the first feeling of love is associated.

I would like to talk about one more condition, the most difficult to fulfill. In the parents’ voice, irritation most often quickly appears, which manifests itself in the tone. And the child feels it and may have the same response. Therefore, when the mother asks the baby in a restless voice to do something or stop doing something that gives him pleasure, she usually meets with sharp resistance. Children are well aware of the demands and desires of their elders, therefore, in a calm family atmosphere, their behavior can almost always be controlled with short comments and reminders, but not with orders. Sometimes with parents, a child may obey his mother, but not obey his father, or vice versa. You need to reconsider your attitude towards the child, have common requirements, a common approach to him.

Punishment is the most extreme measure, which is applied to children only in cases where all other methods for establishing discipline have proven ineffective.

The main thing is the love of a mother and father for their child, their devotion to him (but not indulgence), their desire for him only goodness and happiness. The warmth of parental love is the feeling that fosters in a person the ability to love and be loved. A child surrounded by reasonable parental love most often grows up friendly and welcoming towards the entire world around him.

A child from 3 to 6 years old usually expresses his devotion to his parents by trying to be like them in everything. He not only imitates their actions and manner of speaking, but also tries to be as intelligent as them. So what should parents think about if they want to raise a good, kind person?...

Children, having the example of their parents before them and feeling their love, themselves influence the formation of their character, their attitude towards people.

If he feels sincerity in the parents' demands, then he is more likely to understand the reasonableness of their request. Some parents are at a loss and don’t know what to do to make their child behave well. Usually such parents begin to threaten the child, shout at him, and even slap him on the head.

Without convincing the child of his guilt, these mothers and fathers, with their words and actions, to some extent push him to further bad behavior

For most children, punishment is not a reason to stop a child from bad behavior. Even in cases where punishment is forced, when many methods have been exhausted, even then it does not bring the desired benefit.

Sometimes a light spank has an effect on both the child and the mother. Many mothers suffer after this, thinking about their cruelty. And the child can be terribly indignant because of such an insult.

Brief isolation in a separate room sometimes brings the desired results. However, some children, with their loud crying in this room, get on the nerves of the whole family. And this can go on for hours. Deprivation of any privileges is more suitable for schoolchildren. If they understand their guilt, then this develops a sense of justice in them.

Good child discipline is based on mutual love and respect between all family members. This requires the strength of character of mom and dad.

The main task of parents is to calmly and tactfully explain to the child what is required of him, to convince him that he is doing wrong.

Very often this work is overwhelming for children. The more they try, the more they feel powerless. When parents' upbringing process is disrupted, they need to seek advice from specialists on age-related and psychological issues.

Several such tips. 10 commandments of parenting.

1. Don’t expect your child to be like you or what you want. Help him become not you, but himself.

2. Don’t think that the child is yours: he is God’s, he is a person.

3. Don’t demand payment for everything you do for him: you gave him life, how can he thank you? He will give life to another, and that to a third: this is the irreversible law of gratitude.

4. Do not take out your grievances on your child, so that in old age you do not eat bitter bread, for whatever you sow, that will come back.

5. Don't look down on his problems. For the severity of life is given to everyone according to their strength, and rest assured: it is no less difficult for him than yours, and maybe more.

6. Don't humiliate your child.

7. Don’t torment yourself if you can’t do something for your child, torment yourself if you can and don’t do it.

8. Remember, not enough has been done for the child if everything has not been done.

9. Know how to love someone else’s child. Never do to someone else what you would not want others to do to you.

10. Love your child in any way: untalented, unsuccessful, adult. Communicate with him, rejoice, because a child is a holiday that is still with you.

And in conclusion I would like to say.

You must not only love your child, but also think about how he will continue to live, and this is oh how difficult it is. Only you can help him with this!!!

Preview:

Consultation “Development of cognitive interest in children of primary preschool age through familiarization with nature.”

Material prepared by: Yarylkina Elena Nikolaevna,

teacher of the highest qualification category at MDOU "Kindergarten No. 9 o.v." Magnitogorsk

The world in which we live is complex, multifaceted and changeable, and children are at the origins of its knowledge. Every acquaintance with nature is a lesson in the development of a child’s mind, creativity, and feelings. With its unusualness, novelty, and diversity, nature has an emotional impact on the child and causes his surprise. Nature surrounds a child from an early age; it is most accessible to his understanding and exploration.

Developing the cognitive interest of children, we must not only awaken the child’s curiosity: the desire to study the life of plants and animals, the phenomena of inanimate nature, but also clearly explain to them why they need to love and take care of nature.

Why does a contradiction arise when children communicate with nature: on the one hand, children are very interested in objects of nature, but on the other hand they show indifference and sometimes cruelty? How to develop and raise the level of cognitive interest of children so that it does not fade away, but will be their constant companion in the future? This was the reason for choosing the topic of the work:“Development of cognitive interest in children of primary preschool age through familiarization with nature.”

Goal: to create conditions for the development of cognitive interest in children of primary preschool age through familiarization with nature.

To achieve the goal of the work, the following tasks are set::

  1. To develop children's cognitive interest through familiarization with nature.
  2. Enrich, expand, and activate children's vocabulary through familiarization with nature.
  3. To instill in children a love for nature, a desire to preserve and protect it.

The work was guided by the following principles:

Visibility and practicality;

Personality-oriented approach to children, taking into account their individual and age-related developmental characteristics;

Systematicity and consistency;

Unity of kindergarten and family.

As a result of studying pedagogical technologies Nikolaeva S.N., Grizik T.I., Dybina O.V., Smirnova V.V., and analysis of our work experience, the following were developed:

Diagnostic cards for examining children's cognitive interest;

A long-term plan for developing children's cognitive interest through familiarization with nature;

Manuals and didactic games were produced.

The diagnostic results showed that children aged 3-4 years have a low level of speech development, cognitive interest in nature, and a poor vocabulary.

To increase the level of cognitive interest of young children, the following forms of work were used.

1. Observation. The beauty and diversity of nature at any time of the year, the changes within each of them directly affect the emotional state of children, make them want to observe, ask, explore, talk.

During our walks, we looked at the nature around us, namely: trees, flowers, grass, bugs, birds, animals... We talked about natural phenomena - it is snowing, raining, the sun is shining, the wind is blowing, etc.

On frosty and rainy days we observe by looking out the window. A three-year-old child has a whole world - “the world outside the window.” He attracts and enchants the baby. The view from the window is an amazing discovery.

In the group we observe indoor plants, objects of the “green bed”: onions, tulips, cucumbers, tomatoes.

2. Experimentation.Children at this age love to experiment and explore different objects, because the world around the baby is huge, interesting and unknown to them. For example:

  1. Pouring water from one glass to another (pours, gurgles, flows);
  2. Adding different colors to clear water (to change the color of the water);
  3. Making colored ice (water freezes in cold weather);
  4. Bringing snow to the group (it melted, turned into water - in the warmth, the snow melts; the water is dirty - you can’t eat snow!);
  5. Studying the properties of water: (water can be different - hot, warm, cold);
  6. Studying the properties of objects: (heavy and light (by weight);

With attention, the kids observed the simplest, everyday, from the point of view of an adult, phenomena and events, and for them these were grandiose discoveries. During experiments, experiments and observations, children draw conclusions and become convinced that:

If the pebbles are wet, they change color;

Nothing can be built from dry sand, but nothing can be built from wet sand;

Not all objects sink in water;

You can get your feet wet in one puddle, but not in another;

The buds and leaves are so different;

Snow is also wet, just like water.

3. Artistic word.The literary word plays a major role in the development of children’s cognitive interest: poems, riddles, stories, fairy tales. I would like to note that folk tales are most important for children.

Having studied the work of N.A. Ryzhova, we concluded that the fairy tale not only entertains, it unobtrusively educates, introduces the child to the natural world, good and evil. Folk tales and fairy tales invented by them are more accessible to children. In fairy tales, the characteristics of many animals, plants, and natural phenomena are very accurately noted. In many folk tales, nature is perceived as a source of benefit to humans. Children learn from fairy tales how many benefits nature gives us, and then the conclusion is drawn: nature must be preserved and protected.

4. Creative activity.Fine arts (TRIZ technology), games with paper, and manual labor (working with natural and waste materials) are of great importance for increasing the level of cognitive interest of children. During this work, the manuals of Lykova I.A., Ershova O.A., Zhukova O.S. were used.

Such fine art games are useful not only for developing children’s cognitive interest, but also for developing fine motor skills of the fingers. Children learn that “hard workers” hands can do anything in the world.

Paper is the most accessible material for a child. Kids love to tear and crumple paper. They like to turn paper from a sheet into a ball and rustle it. From compressed paper and natural materials we make three-dimensional toys, collages, collective works, for example: still lifes “Vegetables”, “Fruits”, “Winter Guest”, “New Year Tree”, “Winter - Winter”, “Autumn in the Forest”, “ Hedgehog on a walk”, “Blue Sea”, “Flowers for Mom”, “Glutton”, “Summer Day” and others.

We wanted our parents to become our very first helpers. Their help and participation are necessary for the development of cognitive interest. In order to interest parents in the need to develop children’s cognitive interest, the following forms of work were used:

Parent meetings: “Education of humane feelings of children when getting acquainted with nature”, “Education of “Why”, “Pets in the family”.

Consultations: “The importance of games when getting acquainted with nature”, “The Earth is our home.”

Folders - moving: “Teaching children to protect and love nature”, “Seasons”, “Ecology is important”, “Skillful hands”.

Joint exhibitions: “Miracle - Vegetable”, “Do-It-Yourself Miracles”, “New Year’s Toy”.

Open classes: “Visiting Autumn”, “Snowflake Visiting the Children”, “Beasts of Our Forest”, “The Year is a Steamboat”, “The Journey of the Kolobok”, “Migratory Birds”.

An analysis of the work on developing children’s cognitive interest through familiarization with nature showed that:

Children independently find answers to questions that interest them;

The children began to use natural history terms in their speech, enriched their vocabulary, learned to ask and answer questions, draw simple conclusions, tell fairy tales and poems;

Children have become talkative and sociable people who easily come into contact with peers and adults;

The kids learned to see the beauty of their native nature and enjoy it; they developed a desire to cherish and protect it.

This work contributes to the further successful education of children at school, continuing to remain inquisitive, striving to get answers to all their questions, with pleasure learning something new, unknown to them. We hope that the guys will love their nature and will not remain indifferent to its problems.

Literature.

1. Vinogradova N.F. Mental education of children in the process of familiarization with nature. M., Education, 1976.

2. Grizik T.I. Exploring the world. M., Education, 1994.

3. Grizik T.I. My assistants. M., Education, 1994.

4. Dybina O. V. The unknown is nearby. M., Creative Center, 2002.

5. Ershova O. A., Zhukova O. S. Games all year round. M., "Olma-press", 2003.

6. Lykova I.A. Masterilka. Smolensk “Karapuz-didactics”, 2007.

7. Nikolaeva S. N. Methods of environmental education of preschool children. M., Mosaic synthesis, 2002.

8. Nikolaeva S. N. Young ecologist. M., Mosaic synthesis, 2002.

9. Nikolaeva S. N. Ecological notebook for preschoolers. M., Mosaic synthesis, 2002.

10. Pleshakov A. A. Golden path. M., Education, 2000.

11. Ryzhova N. A. Not just fairy tales. M., Education, 2004.

12. Smirnova V.V. Path to nature. S-P., Soyuz, 2003.

Preview:

Consultation for parents

“Is it possible to imagine the life of a modern preschool educational institution without close contacts”

Prepared by: teacher of the highest category

Yarylkina E. N.

Let's turn on our imagination for a moment and try to imagine... in the morning, mothers and fathers bring their children to the doors of the kindergarten and politely say: “Hello!” And they leave. The children spend the whole day with their teachers: playing, playing, practicing... And in the evening again, moms and dads come and say: “goodbye!”, and take the children home. Teachers and parents do not discuss their children’s successes, difficulties they experience,

They find out how the child lives, what doesn’t interest him, what makes him happy, what makes him sad. A

if suddenly questions arise, the parents will tell the teacher: “After all, it was

same survey! We told them everything there,” and the teachers will answer them like this: “After all, there are information stands. Read it, it says it all).

Agree, the picture is bleak... and I immediately want to say that this is simply impossible. Teachers and parents have the same task to do everything to ensure that children are happy, grow up healthy, active, life-loving, sociable, so that they become harmoniously developed individuals. Modern preschool institutions do a lot to make communication with parents rich and interesting. On the one hand, teachers preserve everything that is best and time-tested, and on the other hand, they look for and strive to introduce new forms of interaction with the family of pupils, the main task of which is to achieve real cooperation between the kindergarten and the family.

As practice shows, any joint

activities of parents and teachers. So, already a collective discussion

problems allows parents to feel that other fathers and mothers, having already faced similar problems and judgments, were able to find a way out of them

a way out, and this gives birth to institutions: any difficulties are solvable.

Non-traditional forms of interaction with family are also important for

improving relationships between parents and children. Parents try to love the child for who he is, unconditionally. They have the opportunity to see their own child in an environment different from the family one, observe his communication with peers and teachers, and discover new abilities in him. In joint activities, parents and children try to understand each other, trust each other, and become permanent partners.

Which teacher can be called competent in the field of communication with parents?

Let's figure out what professional competence is.

The competence of a teacher is manifested in such communication, which is characterized by the ability to organize personal interest,

Pedagogical meaning and significance. Professional competence

It also presupposes the strength of value orientations, the formation

professionally significant qualities (restraint, tact

observation, respect, etc.) deep mastery of knowledge about the family, its

educational potential, the specifics of interaction between public and

family education, methods of studying family, variety of practical

ways of organizing communication. Family education is based on

emotional, intimate nature of relationships, deep blood

the love of parents for children and children for parents.

The educational impact of the family is constant and long-lasting. Parents

brought up) and children are brought up by that family life, or

whether it develops intentionally or not.

The family has objective opportunities for natural

inclusion of the child in everyday, economic activities, joint

recreation, socially useful activities, indirect inclusion

parents to the work of parents, and most importantly for joint creative

activities that give the child autonomy and independence.

Preview:

Consultation for parents"The origins of hard work."

Our kids today are future workers. And we need to prepare them for this mandatory and honorable mission for a person, a citizen. Labor is not only a source of personal material wealth, but also service to the people, the basis of the prosperity and power of our homeland Russia . Children show interest in work and a desire to work already in early preschool age. They reach out to the affairs of their elders and copy their actions:

The child builds like dad by hammering with a hammer, does laundry like mom, tidies up like grandma.

He enjoys helping his older brother repair his bicycle.

And although the work of children is more of a game, however, such manifestations should be encouraged and supported in every possible way.

The teacher explains to parents that it is necessary to take into account the capabilities of the preschooler and the characteristics of his work activity at a particular age. These opportunities are very limited, the child does not have work skills, he does not know how to foresee the results of his efforts and does with pleasure only what he likes and succeeds.

And most importantly, his work cannot replace the work of an adult.

But the educational value of work for a child is enormous. In work, he develops such qualities as a sense of responsibility for the assigned work, independence, organization, initiative, ingenuity, patience, and discipline.

Which adult doesn’t know how work assignments organize children’s behavior!

The fidget shows perseverance and concentration; slow – dexterity and ingenuity; naughty - efficiency and patience; incompetent - diligence and desire to do the best possible (of course, provided that the assignment interests him).

Where does the labor education of a child begin?

Starting small, by developing self-service skills. The most convenient moment comes when the child first declares: “I myself.” It is important not to listen to this moment and support the child’s independence in every possible way. Of course, while the child is small, he needs the help of an adult. But the help of help is discord. It’s bad if the baby turns into a doll that is fed, washed, dressed, contrary to the desire to do it yourself (parents often say: “I don’t have time to wait for him to dress himself, I’m late”). Help should only encourage him to take independent action.

Here’s a mother teaching her daughter and saying: “We’ll put this shoe on this foot. Like this... And Tanya herself will put this one on... And now wash up! Take the soap, it’s beautiful and fragrant (shows it and lets the child smell it, thereby creating a desire to wash), wet the soap with some water and soap your hands. Like this. And - under running water. Rinsed! Now let’s wash our face (saying every minute: “Water, water, wash Tanya’s face...”). The girl herself rubs her face with a wet palm. And mom helps move her hand to her cheek, to her forehead. And now Tanya has a towel in her hands, she dabs her face with it.

Maybe all this is clumsy, but it doesn’t matter, mom will correct it and teach you.

The main thing is that the path to independent actions of the child is paved patiently, without haste or prodding.

Already at two or three years old, a child must be taught to independently take off and put on clothes and shoes, unbutton and fasten buttons, fold his things, and put away toys. Children of this age can be instructed to put bread and salt on the table, lay out spoons, and clear the table together with an adult. And with what pleasure they fulfill the request of their father or mother to hold something, bring it, serve it, fold it neatly.

Children three to four years old can dress and undress themselves (with a little help from an adult or peers), carefully folding their clothes. In kindergarten, they are taught to notice negligence in a suit and, if possible, eliminate it, and, if necessary, seek help from an adult. Preschoolers know that when entering the room they need to wipe their feet, after playing, put toys away, wash their hands before eating, by the end of their stay in the second younger group, children are involved in dining room duty, and they are very happy to help the junior teacher - lay out bread bins, spoons, remove tea utensils after eating.

And with what desire children carry out orders from adults!

Together with the teacher, they feed the birds, water the houseplants and plantings in the beds. Already at this age, it is necessary to cultivate a desire to participate in maintaining order in the group room and on the site, teach not to litter, not to trample green spaces, not to pick flowers and other plants. It is important that these simple work tasks are continued in the family. Therefore, the teacher should introduce parents to what children are taught in kindergarten, how hard work is instilled in them. She advises what work assignments children can perform at home. At the same time, he emphasizes that these assignments become more complicated with the age of the child.

Thus, children 4-5 years old, together with their parents, can take part in household chores - cleaning their room, wiping dust, watering indoor plants, caring for pets, taking care of their things, keeping them in order. At the same time, parents should instill in their children that order in the house depends on how each family member takes care of their things, maintains cleanliness, and works for everyone.

The older preschooler has access to more complex tasks, which can then make him permanent responsibilities: setting the table and clearing the table, caring for indoor plants and animals in the house, taking care of his toys and washing them, washing doll clothes, keeping the books in the bookstore in order. shelf.

In families where they are engaged in gardening and floriculture, children are also involved in work. Together with adults, they participate in preparing and planting seedlings, germinating seeds, sowing them, preparing the soil, caring for seedlings, and harvesting. This will be useful to them in later life. At the same time, adults talk about the important role food plays in people’s lives.

Thus, an older preschooler can not only serve himself (get dressed, undress, make the bed), but also take part in the affairs of adults, and most importantly, work for others, caring for mom, dad, grandmother, and younger relative.

One of the teacher’s tasks is to show parents the importance of involvement in the working life of the family, as the most important means of developing in him the concept of “I must,” respect for the affairs of elders, responsibility for them, and caring for them. It is useful for children to understand that their participation in the affairs of adults is a manifestation of love, care and attention towards them.

So, when teaching a child self-care skills, it is worth instilling in him the idea: when he does something on his own (eats, washes, dresses, puts away toys, etc.), he thereby frees his mother or grandmother from additional worries about him. It is useful to remind a five-year-old child that by carrying out instructions from his elders, he helps them and makes their work easier. The evasion of older preschoolers from their responsibilities should be considered as something out of the ordinary. It is necessary to explain to him: if you didn’t complete the task entrusted to you, it means you added more trouble to your grandmother and mother. They take care of you, but you didn't take care of them.

In kindergarten, the whole life of children is filled with work. Particular importance is attached to developing in them the habit of working stress. This habit is formed due to the fact that children constantly and daily perform tasks related to self-care, performing routine tasks, preparing for classes and completing them, maintaining order in toys, manuals, in the group room and on the site. As we can see, in the group a an atmosphere of busyness, which in itself is a nurturing factor. The child is faced with the need to follow the established rules: clean up toys after himself, prepare the workplace before class (clean it up), make the bed for bed and clean it up after sleep. It is important that children in the family are taught to work.

Is this the case in your family?

For example: got up in the morning - make your bed (“All family members do this”); wash and dress yourself (“There is no one to look after you; everyone is going to work, and you are going to kindergarten. Both adults and you cannot be late!”).

Thus, the family work regime becomes mandatory for a growing person. Repeated day after day, these labor actions become a vital necessity for him, and the habit of labor efforts becomes a natural state. And if you also praise him... Adults use various situations to involve the child in work:

Vika is in a hurry to go for a walk, where exciting games and girlfriends await her. But the grandmother says: “Please help me, and then go for a walk!” Another time she reminds her granddaughter: “If you want your puppy to be happy and healthy, then take him for a walk.”

Unfortunately, not all parents adhere to these rules; they take care of the child at home, rush to do things themselves that he could easily handle: they clean up scattered things after him, straighten his clothes, put on shoes, wash him, serve at the table... And the child manages get used to the idea that he is a constant object of adult attention. And he no longer shows a desire to do something on his own, but relies on an adult, even tries to command him: “Give it, bring it, I don’t know how, I don’t want, I won’t.” Parents do not see anything alarming in this; they always have ready-made excuses:

- “That’s why we are parents, to take care of the child!”

- “He’s still too young to talk about ore education.”

- “In a working family, a child cannot grow up white-handed,” etc.

The teacher’s task is to explain to parents that the right attitude towards work is easier to form where the child not only sees an example of the hard work of elders, but also helps them, has constant responsibilities around the house, and carries out assignments related to the general affairs of the family. In the process of joint work, a growing person acquires the necessary skills and abilities that he needs at school and in later life. And, most importantly, he develops a psychological attitude towards work as a vital need.

It is useful to instill in an older preschooler the ability to do not only what he wants at the moment, but also what is necessary: ​​look after a younger family member, feed an animal, help mom or dad. It is necessary to teach him, if necessary, to switch from one activity (that interests him) to another (obligatory). For example: he is busy with an interesting activity, but a younger family member needs help, he needs to stop to help. In such situations, the child develops the ability to switch from “want” to “need.” This is where responsibility and understanding of one’s responsibilities begin.

But children are children. Therefore, it is impossible to abuse command methods in order for the child to engage in labor. When switching a child to work, one cannot fail to take into account his mood, passion for his work and how expedient this work is. If, for example, a preschooler diligently draws, sculpts or designs, then you should postpone your intention to give him a work assignment.

Doing something useful should bring the child joy and satisfaction and create a good mood. Only then will he love work.

And he will also begin to love work if he feels dexterous and skillful, if he experiences pleasure from the effort expended. I worked hard, tried, and this is the result: I achieved what I wanted!

However, due to the lack of life experience and proper dexterity, the child does not always succeed in this: he does not know and cannot do much, and often does the wrong thing even when he sincerely tries:

While constructing a building from building material, I scattered the parts throughout the room..

After dinner, he clears the table and places the plates in a stack so that the remains of the soup are poured directly onto the table.

Kroshki brushes the crumbs into his palm and then wipes his hand on his suit.

Can such work bring joy to a child? Can it bring satisfaction if he does not have the necessary skills, does not know how to act meaningfully and consistently, does not know how to use tools, etc.?

That is why a preschooler who comes into contact with practical work for the first time must be taught to work, to form in him an elementary culture of work activity: to develop the ability to work deftly, at a pace, showing efficiency and ingenuity; use tools correctly, keep them in good condition and clean; instill the ability to organize your work - prepare a workplace, the necessary tools and objects of work: learn to plan work, anticipating its progress, sequence and result; do everything carefully, without getting your clothes or face dirty, and don’t leave things unfinished; upon completion of work, clean up everything you used (clean and in full working order, tidy yourself and your workplace).

The culture of work activity largely depends on the child’s availability of tools. It is important that he has at his disposal the necessary equipment for household chores, caring for clothes and shoes, taking care of indoor plants, equipment for manual labor and working with fabric. Such equipment must have an attractive appearance, correspond to the physical strength and growth of the preschooler. Only this In this case, you can count on the fact that the child will master the correct work tasks and will work with pleasure and effectively. After all, for example, large and heavy shovels or rakes will not only not create a desire to work, but will also complicate the labor process. The child will spend a lot of effort, but not will receive joy, because gets tired and is unlikely to be able to finish the job. If you want to teach your child to keep his clothes and shoes clean, you must make sure that he has everything he needs for this at hand. And work in the garden will bring joy to the child if he has at his disposal the necessary equipment for cultivating the soil and caring for plants (an iron shovel for digging up soil previously dug by an adult, a metal rake for loosening, clearing the soil surface from stones and leveling the surface of ridges (length rake 100-110 cm), bucket and watering can, scoop for digging and planting plants, hilling and loosening the soil. Considering that a preschooler is not fully capable of abstraction, which is so necessary when planning work actions, an adult can clarify with the child, how he intends to carry out the assignment - what will be required for this, where will he begin the work, etc. In general, try to anticipate the child’s possible mistakes and help him organize the work process. The result of work is of particular educational significance, because it brings joy and satisfaction to children from the effort expended: we cleaned the play corner and now it became pleasant to play there, we repaired the books - and they returned to the bookshelf again and will tell interesting stories; we made souvenirs and congratulated mothers and grandmothers on March 8, and fathers on February 23, etc.

It is important for parents to remember the proverb themselves and familiarize their children with it “You won’t be able to pull a fish out of the pond without effort!”

The most common reason for turning to a psychologist in our country is problems of childhood and adolescence. In infancy, parents are afraid of delays in the baby's development. In preschool - fears, strong emotional manifestations. At primary school age, people begin to worry about problems interacting with others and poor academic performance. Everyone knows about the difficulties of adolescence, but surviving them is very difficult. And many parents sincerely believe that the work of a psychologist should be aimed exclusively at the child, all the flaws in him need only be “corrected” and everything will pass. In practice, such a “correction” gives only a temporary effect or is generally ineffective if work is not carried out with parents.

The child always feels existing, genuine relationships between family members that are significant to him. He cannot express them, much less understand them, but he expresses them with his negative emotions and behavior in the form of fears, poor performance, and aggressiveness, which can lead to more serious consequences if attention is not paid to them in time.

Often, turning to a psychologist, for most parents, is some recognition that they themselves cannot cope with the current problem. On the one hand, this is true, but most often it is those parents who turn to a psychologist who are trying very hard to give everything their child needs.

The difficulty is that at some point, methods of communication and raising a child that brought positive results began to hinder his development.

Often, a crisis in a relationship with a child indicates that he is facing new tasks, but the parents are not aware of them. It is clearly visible that the child has outgrown his pants and is being bought new ones. But it is sometimes very difficult to notice from what psychological framework set by the family he grew up.

The child completely unconsciously chooses a type of behavior that is simply impossible not to pay attention to. Moreover, first, people who interact with him in society (kindergarten, school, clubs) talk about the child’s problems. Then friends and relatives point out the need to change behavior or pay attention to the child’s development. And if measures are not taken, then the situation sooner or later becomes excessive and critical for the parents themselves.

Well-known family psychologists say that a problem child is a SYMPTOM OF THE FAMILY.

What does it mean? The child is the most sensitive and vulnerable link in the family system. No matter how he behaves, he needs, like air, attention, warmth, care and love of loved ones. And the child tries very hard to get in every possible and impossible way what he so desperately needs.

  • How can you see behind a child’s “negative” behavior his desire to meet his parents’ expectations?
  • Is it enough just to pay attention to his desires and satisfy all his needs to make him feel protected and confident?
  • Are there any means by which you can “control” children?

In what cases is it necessary to consult a specialist in connection with problems in parent-child relationships?

  • If you feel like you are losing control of your child. Perhaps the child is moving to a new level of development and it is necessary to reconsider the requirements for him. Or maybe, on the contrary, your requirements are too high and the child can no longer cope, showing this with his behavior. In a joint child-parent consultation, a psychologist will help you understand what is happening and how you could change the situation.
  • If a child has difficulties communicating with peers, he is very shy, cannot stand up for himself, and is offended by other children. It often happens that these are very sensitive children who are difficult for parents to accept. Namely, such a child needs support, understanding of his emotions, acceptance of the individuality and fragility of his inner world, so that he does not become isolated and can show his talents, which are not always easy to recognize.
  • If the child is very aggressive: he spoils things, fights often and rejoices when he hurts another person or animal. It is important to understand what happens to the child in this case, because aggressiveness can be a reaction to the unbearability of some life situation. Or it may be a manifestation of a strong character that you need to learn to manage. It is not always easy to identify the reason for the active manifestation of aggression, but hardly anyone wants this quality to take hold and become a character trait of the child.
  • If the child lacks activity, interests, passivity and apathy manifests itself, and reluctance to go to school. This is not always due to laziness and spoilage, as parents think. It is important to know that this condition is a silent cry for help for a child. A child is by nature active in learning about the world, and if he does not have this activity, it means that his resources are very depleted. There can be many reasons: excessive demands, and the inability to meet the expectations of parents, and a lack of emotional communication when the child feels that no one needs him, and the difference in temperament between mother and child, and much more.
  • If the child has encountered any traumatic experiences. Divorce of parents, death of a person very significant to the child, death of a beloved animal, violence towards or in front of him. A combination of stressful factors (for example, entering first grade and the birth of a new child in the family), a car accident, any event that you think has greatly affected the child.
  • If you notice that your child is experiencing a large number of fears, or one, but very strong fear. At different ages, children have various fears, overcoming which is necessary for development. But there are situations when you, as a parent, feel that the child’s fear is excessive, and you do not know how to help him. In this case, it is better to consult a psychologist.

You can get answers to these and other questions from a psychologist.

MINISTRY OF EDUCATION AND SCIENCE OF THE RF

FEDERAL STATE BUDGET EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTION

HIGHER PROFESSIONAL EDUCATION

"NOVOSIBIRSK STATE PEDAGOGICAL UNIVERSITY"

PSYCHOLOGY FACULTY

DEPARTMENT OF GENERAL PSYCHOLOGY AND HISTORY OF PSYCHOLOGY


Essay

Psychological assistance to families in raising a child


Zelenkova Arina Igorevna

Checked:

Candidate Psych. Sciences, Associate Professor, Department of OPiIP

Ivanchenko Valeria Anatolevna


NOVOSIBIRSK, 2014


Introduction

Conclusion


Introduction


Relevance: The family is the most important factor of socialization, the subject of education and the condition for the self-development of the child. It is in the family that a person receives his first experience of social interaction, discovers the world of human relationships, and becomes a subject of self-education. At the same time, the family can be a factor that negatively affects the process of a child’s personal development. Intrafamily conflicts, low financial status of the family, negative attitude of parents towards raising children, violence and cruelty are psychotraumatic factors in the development of children.

The most common reason for turning to a psychologist in our country is problems of childhood and adolescence. In infancy, parents are afraid of delays in the baby's development. In preschool - fears, strong emotional manifestations. At primary school age, people begin to worry about problems interacting with others and poor academic performance. Everyone knows about the difficulties of adolescence, but surviving them is very difficult. And many parents sincerely believe that the work of a psychologist should be aimed exclusively at the child, all the flaws in him need only be “corrected” and everything will pass. In practice, such a “correction” gives only a temporary effect or is generally ineffective if work is not carried out with parents.

The child always feels existing, genuine relationships between family members that are significant to him. He cannot express them, much less understand them, but he expresses them with his negative emotions and behavior in the form of fears, poor performance, and aggressiveness, which can lead to more serious consequences if attention is not paid to them in time.

Purpose: To identify the main features of psychological assistance to families in raising a child.

) outline the theoretical aspects of psychological assistance to families, referring to the ideas reflected in the literature;

) characterize and analyze the general indicators of psychological assistance to families in raising a child;

) present and justify proposals for improving psychological assistance to families in raising a child.

psychological help family education

Chapter 1. Psychological assistance to the family


Psychological assistance to the family is a broad concept that includes many areas of activity of a family psychologist. It consists of spiritual, emotional and semantic support for the family and its individual members in crisis situations. A family psychologist is a universal specialist in relationships between men and women. Even if a couple is not officially married, but the relationship between a man and a woman is based on mutual love, then their union should be considered as a family one. Satisfying the needs for psychological support for the harmonious development of family relationships at all levels is within the competence of a family psychologist.

As a specialist, he helps to understand what forces unite people into family unions, and what forces lead to their destruction. Why are some spouses like-minded people who give each other the opportunity to develop, while others are rivals and hinder mutual development? Why do some families fly on the wings of love, while the majority drag the family cart and cannot escape from family problems? Why is it that in some families children are beautiful, fragrant, bright flowers, while in others they are tough thorns? What to do when the fire in the family hearth begins to lose its strength or goes out completely?

Turning to a psychoanalyst or psychologist has now become a formative factor in the quality of life and image of the world. The basis of the quality of life is not only the material component - it is the psychological and social status. Regularly visiting your psychoanalyst helps to reveal the image of the world of each individual person, and there is a direct correlation between the quality of life and regular communication with a confidant of your soul.

Modern man is more informationally and professionally oriented, but still psychologically vulnerable.

1.1 Types of advisory psychological assistance to families


The types of advisory psychological assistance to families that exist today in world practice are extremely diverse. They may differ in the focus of the work and the nature of the assistance provided and the tasks solved by specialists. These differences shape one or another model of care. Each of these models is based on its own theoretical basis and predetermines the work methods used.

Depending on its focus, psychological assistance can be provided:

a) predominantly to one family member in connection with problems that are directly or indirectly caused by his family life or lack thereof;

b) a married or pre-marital couple;

c) the family as a whole;

d) parent or parents;

e) parents and children;

f) a child or teenager.

By its nature, psychological assistance may consist of: a) recommending organizational measures related to raising a child, such as referral to special or auxiliary schools, special kindergartens, referral to additional consultations with a psychoneurologist, speech therapist, consulting psychologist of another profile, etc. .d.; b) in recommending methods of education and training; c) in the vocational guidance of adolescents; d) in determining the child’s readiness for schooling and identifying the causes of difficulties in learning; e) in the implementation of psychotherapeutic and psychocorrective influences.

All of these types of help are psychological in the sense that they are aimed at problems caused by psychological reasons and are based on psychological influence. So, for example, assistance in placing a mentally retarded child in a auxiliary school, it would seem, does not contain anything psychological, but rather relates to the field of medicine and special pedagogy. However, this is not so: firstly, as a rule, the object of help is primarily the parent, who can either be acutely aware of the mental retardation of their child, or turn a blind eye to it and resist transferring the child to a auxiliary school; secondly, determining the degree and causes of mental retardation is based on psychological knowledge of child development and requires psychological methods for diagnosing developmental anomalies.

Psychological assistance is not always provided by psychologists themselves. Among the specialists whose activities are related to the definition of such assistance are psychiatrists, psychotherapists, psychoneurologists, sex therapists, teachers, social workers. The latter specialty is widespread mainly in Western Europe and America; Some analogue in our country, though only in relation to problems of education, is the profession of a teacher - organizer of out-of-school educational work.


1.2 Objectives of psychological assistance to families


· Fostering parental responsibility.

· Formation of socio-psychological skills in providing support in the family, regulating family relations with society.

· Increasing psychological and pedagogical competence.

· Familiarization with information about the intrauterine development of a child and the psychological significance of the birth process for the child, mother and father.

· Acquiring knowledge on issues of early childhood development and education, education, including sex education.

· Acquiring self-regulation skills, i.e. mastering various techniques for voluntary regulation of the functional state of the body and the mental state of the individual.

Diagnosis of readiness for motherhood and childbirth can be carried out in a group or in an individual meeting based on special tests, drawings, studies of attitudes towards changes occurring during pregnancy, and indicators of depth of relaxation.

Direction of psychological assistance. Psychological assistance can be addressed to different levels (structures) of the individual.

Personal level: work with values, motivation, semantic formations, attitudes.

Emotional level: encouraging open expression of feelings through verbal and non-verbal means, teaching empathic listening.

Cognitive level: transfer of knowledge.

Operational level: development of skills and abilities (behavior during childbirth, child care).

Psychophysical level: training in the regulation of functional and mental states by means of autogenic training, art therapy, body-oriented therapy.


1.3 Methods of psychological work with future parents


Methods of psychological work with future parents include:

Thematic conversations.

Autogenic training.

Body-oriented therapy.

Art therapy (drawing, playing musical instruments, singing, dancing)

Role-playing games.

Accompanying classes with demonstrations of thematic posters and mannequins, video recordings and listening to audio cassettes with recordings of music and sounds of nature enhances the effect of classes.

Work with families during this period should be based on a humanistic approach. To a large extent, the family needs, first of all, psychological support. Work with the family and its members can be carried out either individually or in a group. Moreover, group support has a special therapeutic meaning. Once in a group, the family comes out of the isolation in which it often finds itself. She meets other families with similar concerns and receives support from them, which usually continues through the difficult period of the child's first year of life. In addition, often faced with opposing points of view on a variety of issues, parents think about the diversity of existing traditions and ideas, learn to develop and defend their own point of view, while maintaining tolerance towards the opinions of others. The psychologist’s task is to promote the formation of an atmosphere of trust and safety in the group.

Taking on parental responsibility can be viewed in a broader context than responsibility for the fate of a particular child. In fact, the family in the period under review is a connecting link between the past and future of several family branches. By introducing parents to ideas about the driving forces of personality development and noting a person’s right to choose at every moment of his life, considering the concept of a family scenario and analyzing the three states of a person (parent-adult-child) in accordance with the theory of transactional analysis by E. Berne, it is possible to guide future parents to the idea of ​​the need to reconsider their own attitudes regarding the upbringing of children in order to make a conscious decision based on their personal responsibility for the fate of the family and generations that will live after them.

When working with parents on skills in handling a child, the psychologist should draw their special attention to the inadmissibility of manipulating a person. A child's perception of himself depends on the attitude of his parents towards him. To educate the individual, parents should treat the child as a subject from the very beginning, and this means conducting a dialogue with him, respecting his wishes and taking into account his characteristics, encouraging his initiative and trusting his feelings.

Particular attention should be paid to instilling in students respect for Nature and trust in the natural principle in man. This is due to the fact that during pregnancy, childbirth and early development, a person finds himself at the mercy of forces that he does not control, but which control what happens to him. In order to accept the changes that occur in the body during pregnancy and successfully, having relaxed, give birth, a woman must learn to rely on the wise Nature, trust her, and hear the voice of Nature within herself. In this, a woman can receive invaluable support from a loving husband, who emphasizes his admiration for the changes occurring with his wife during this period. During the classes, it is necessary to direct the woman’s attention to observing the development processes in nature, to help her choose individually for herself such a range of sounds and such visual images, the reproduction of which will help her relax, or, conversely, gain strength. For example, the noise and picture of a waterfall, the bright colors of autumn, the rays of the sun will give energy, and the chirping of birds, the croaking of frogs, the sound of the sea, pictures of a green meadow, blue sky, the sensation of swinging on waves or clouds will bring calm. Having learned to voluntarily evoke images that create certain moods and states, a woman receives the means to easily relax and gain strength between contractions, as well as to restore performance in a short time while caring for a small child.

In the process of relaxation, a woman is able to distract herself from external stimuli and concentrate entirely on the sensations of her own body and concentrate on the child. This is very important, since the psychological condition for successful childbirth and the factor of readiness for motherhood is a woman’s openness to the child, which involves contact with him and observation of his manifestations, acceptance of the child for who he really is and the rejection of her own expectations for the child . The future father participates in relaxation sessions with his mother, which contributes to a better understanding of the condition of his wife and child.

A number of classes should be devoted to mastering the culture of physical communication. It is known that the tactile analyzer begins to function in a child earlier than others. In fact, the main channel of communication between parents and baby is tactile. The language of touch is the first language available to the baby, in which he receives information from his parents that he is desired and loved, that everything is in order with his body, that his parents are ready to protect him and satisfy his needs. 90% of all receptors, as well as biologically active points, are located in the skin. By stimulating the skin, the mother promotes the development of the child’s brain and improves the functioning of the baby’s internal organs. Mastery of bodily therapy techniques helps both relax and calm the child, and relieve tension in family relationships. However, in our culture for a long time it was not customary to improve the skills of bodily communication. Today's grandmothers were taught not to take their children in their arms unless absolutely necessary, and not to pamper them with kisses. Today it is known that parental affection is necessary for a young child for his normal development. However, research shows that children who have not had emotional contact with their parents find it very difficult to connect with their children. Therefore, future parents need to be taught the skills of providing bodily support, conducting relaxation exercises and massage, which will be useful to them both during pregnancy and childbirth, and in communicating with the child and with each other.

During art classes (art therapy), parents have the opportunity: firstly, to convey their experiences and free themselves from negative feelings, secondly, to allow themselves the spontaneous expression of their “I”, and thirdly, to see in each drawing an expression of the author’s individuality. In the long term, it is important that parents respect and encourage children's creativity.

In role-playing games, parents have the opportunity to work out significant situations from their own childhood, express themselves in the role of the child and each of the parents, propose and act out their own options for resolving situations and, as a result of group discussion, come to a new vision and understanding of the world of childhood and child-parent relationships. Role-playing games, art therapy, body-oriented therapy have advantages over such forms of work as lectures and conversations, since they ensure maximum involvement of participants, forcing them to actively act, look for solutions and express their opinions, while simultaneously receiving feedback from other participants, listening to the opinions of others about certain or other manifestations of oneself. Such work rather contributes to a change in opinion and the creation of a more adequate idea of ​​oneself and the tasks of a parent.

In every family, at the time of conception of a child, as in any structure, there are healthy and destructive forces. As a result of the entire complex of psychological support measures, one can expect an increase in constructive factors and a decrease in the impact of destructive factors.


Chapter 2. Psychological assistance to families in raising a child


Raising a child is a difficult pedagogical and social task. The best results in the process of raising children can be obtained through the joint efforts of the school, society and family. Difficulties in parenting arise in almost all families. The number of problems usually increases during puberty, when the character of children becomes especially difficult, sometimes even unbearable. Children react especially painfully to frequent quarrels between parents and lack of affection and warmth. Sometimes parents cannot achieve mutual understanding with their child. Then they can turn to specialists for help in raising a child. Children and adolescents who cannot establish contact with their parents are called difficult to educate. Theft, not going to school, violence and being rude to their friends are the most common behavior problems of such children. Psychological assistance to a family in raising a child should include two main components - correction and psychological support.

Often, turning to a psychologist, for most parents, is some recognition that they themselves cannot cope with the current problem. On the one hand, this is true, but most often it is those parents who turn to a psychologist who are trying very hard to give everything their child needs.

The difficulty is that at some point, methods of communication and raising a child that brought positive results began to hinder his development.

Often, a crisis in a relationship with a child indicates that he is facing new tasks, but the parents are not aware of them. It is clearly visible that the child has outgrown his pants and is being bought new ones. But it is sometimes very difficult to notice from what psychological framework set by the family he grew up.

The child completely unconsciously chooses a type of behavior that is simply impossible not to pay attention to. Moreover, first, people who interact with him in society (kindergarten, school, clubs) talk about the child’s problems. Then friends and relatives point out the need to change behavior or pay attention to the child’s development. And if measures are not taken, then the situation sooner or later becomes excessive and critical for the parents themselves.

Providing socio-psychological assistance to the family begins with its study, diagnosis of deviations in the functioning of the family, problems of family education, socio-psychological differentiation of family troubles. Diagnostic studies will help you navigate the problem, detect contradictions and trends in negative family development.

A dysfunctional family needs various types of assistance: material, legal, medical, psychological and pedagogical, etc. The effectiveness of providing assistance to a family largely depends on the close interaction and cooperation of the socio-psychological service of an educational institution with various government agencies and public organizations.


2.1 The nature of disobedient and oppositional behavior


The nature of children's disobedient and oppositional behavior may be the result of incorrect, contradictory education. When conflicts between parents seem to be played out on the child. It’s a “push-pull” situation, mom says you can, dad says you can’t, and no one is interested in what the child wants. Age crisesor periods when deep internal changes occur in the child’s psyche, the processes of maturation of his personality, can also be the cause of disobedience and negative behavior. In this case, the problem behavior continues no more than 6 months. Perhaps the nature of negativism and problem behavior lies in hereditary characteristics. Some children seem restless and restless from the moment of birth: they eat and sleep poorly, are prone to hyperactivity and hypersensitivity, and are irritable and moody. These signs of a “difficult” temperament are easily recognizable already in the first 6 months. Such children may later have difficulty controlling their behavior, and for them the sequence of your actions becomes of great importance - external control of behavior facilitates the formation of internal control. Disobedience in children can be expression of stresscaused by illness of parents, brothers or sisters, the appearance of a new child in the family, illness of the child himself, long-term departure of parents, etc. The key to understanding the “difficult period” is the duration of the negative behavior.

Disobedient children drive parents crazy by refusing to do what adults demand or expect of them. Hot temper, violent behavior and disregard for social norms make them unbearable at home, in children's institutions, and in public places. Failure at school, frequent injuries, and complaints from neighbors accompany them. Should you be worried? Maybe a child will “outgrow” a difficult age and change himself? Perhaps the search for answers to these questions is keeping you awake.

Now more than 5% of American children have problems associated with defiant behavior, their condition has been diagnosed as a disorder, that is, an illness. In our country there is no such unanimity in statistical figures yet, but there are more and more hyperactive children and children with voluntary attention deficits.

Family psychotherapy(systemic family, psychoanalytically oriented family psychotherapy) is most effective in solving these problems, since all patterns of behavior develop within family relationships between beloved children and loving parents. In order to find the cause of a failure or turning a relationship upside down and correct it, you need to visit a specialist more than once, and undergo a course of family psychotherapy.


2.2 Social, pedagogical and psychological assistance to parents in raising a child


Only with the joint efforts of parents and teachers can the upbringing of children give a positive result. It is impossible to raise a comprehensively developed and purposeful personality if teachers and parents cannot unite in tandem. Only in the process of well-coordinated joint activity of such a tandem will children develop consciousness, as well as accumulate experience of correct behavior in different life situations. With social and pedagogical assistance in raising a child, children become noticeably more decisive and active, more persistent in achieving any goal.

A social teacher should provide assistance to parents in raising their child. He must protect the rights of the student and solve his social problems. A social educator works with students, teachers and parents.

To effectively help in raising a child, a teacher must have all the information about the formative role of an individual family and the dependence of this role on the value priorities of family members. Then the teacher can easily determine how relationships in the family affect the child’s character, his behavioral reactions and personal development. Therefore, in his work, the teacher must use various forms of communication with parents in order to find out the characteristics of relationships in the family.

A social teacher helps to overcome conflict situations with parents and students in the classroom. He can use various counseling techniques to help parents. This is persuasion, emotional contagion, suggestion, mini-trainings, artistic analogues. Along with group methods of work, individual advisory conversations can be used.

At a parent meeting, together with the class teacher, the teacher develops a program for educational work, discusses the problems and successes of both the entire class and each student. If he has questions about the upbringing of any student, he invites the child’s parents to an individual meeting. When meeting with parents, he gives professional advice and discusses the principles of education.

To assist in raising a child, teachers can conduct classroom activities. Events like these help bring the class team closer together. They help to find mutual understanding and a common language, to show family hobbies and individual abilities. Both students and their parents can take part in joint activities. The teacher observes families in a relaxed atmosphere and then plans educational work, taking into account the characteristics of each family.

Psychological assistance to families in raising a child includes a large number of areas of specialist activity. A psychologist can give parents appropriate recommendations related to raising a child. If necessary, the specialist can refer the child to auxiliary or special schools for additional consultation with a speech therapist or psychoneurologist.

A child psychologist will help determine a child’s readiness for school and identify the causes of learning difficulties. He can also give recommendations for the child’s further professional guidance.

Psychological assistance in raising a child should be aimed at problems that are caused by psychological reasons and based on psychological influence.

First of all, the child psychologist conducts a conversation with the parents. They tell him about the child and the problems associated with raising him. He then talks to each parent individually. This is necessary to clarify and eliminate the cause of the deterioration of the relationship between the child and parents.

A psychologist sometimes visits a child at home in order to better study the psychological microclimate in the family.

A conversation with a child is the most responsible job of a psychologist. Thanks to the variety of psychological methods, a psychologist most often manages to influence a child’s behavior and reveal his soul.


Conclusion


Psychological assistance to families makes it possible to solve the following basic issues:

· causes of family conflicts and methods for their effective elimination;

· psychological assistance to spouses in preventing divorces;

· diagnosis and correction of negative psychogenetic programs;

· development of the child’s psyche before birth and in the first years of life;

· psychology of the formation of a child’s life scenario;

· psychology of managing the behavior, upbringing and education of a child;

· neutralization of negative children's manipulations by parents;

· solving personal preschool, school and student problems;

· developing skills for conflict-free resolution of personal and family problems.

During the period of waiting for a child and his childhood, the family, in addition to medical care, also needs professional psychological support. Its goal is to promote the creation in the family of the most favorable conditions for the development of the emotional, intellectual and social potential of the child, taking into account his age and individual characteristics, the prevention of mental development disorders and deviant behavior of the child. The work of a psychologist has its own specific tasks and is carried out using specific psychological methods. Those attitudes, knowledge and skills that they need, which parents can acquire in psychologist classes at school in preparation for motherhood and fatherhood, they cannot receive from any other specialists. The need of parents for this knowledge and the interest of society in its acquisition by parents will ultimately lead to the fact that future parents’ attendance at schools preparing for fatherhood and motherhood will become an integral part of social assistance to a young family, along with observation in antenatal clinics.

Psychological problems arise in all families after the birth of a child, regardless of whether it is complete or not. A young mother should always monitor her state of mind and remember that the baby’s health depends on her well-being. Likewise, a father should not “withdraw” into himself, hiding behind work, but try to maintain contact with his wife and child.

The purpose of this work has been achieved; we have identified the main features of psychological assistance to families in raising a child.

During the work, the following tasks were accomplished:

) the theoretical aspects of psychological assistance to the family are outlined, referring to the ideas reflected in the literature;

) a description is given and an analysis of the general indicators of psychological assistance to the family in raising a child is carried out;

) proposals for improving psychological assistance to families in raising a child are presented and justified.

List of sources used


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Volkova A.N., Trapeznikova T.M. Methodological techniques for diagnosing marital relationships // Questions of psychology. 1985. No. 5. P.110-116.

Karvasarsky B.D. Psychotherapy. St. Petersburg: Peter, 2007.365 p.

Lebedinsky V.V. Mental development disorders in children. M.: MSU, 1985.167 p.

Levkovich V.P., Zuskova O.E. Social-psychological approach to the study of marital conflicts // Psychological Journal. 1985. T.5. No. 3. P.126-137.

Olshansky V.B. Psychological diagnosis of interpersonal relationships // Psychodiagnostics: problems and research. 1981. pp. 167-187.

Sokolova E.T. The influence on self-esteem of violations of emotional contacts between parents and the child and the formation of personality anomalies // Family and personality formation. M.: Pedagogy, 1981. P.15-21.

Stolin V.V., Shmelev A.G. Family difficulties: what and why? Assignment for self-analysis // Family and school. 2005. No. 3. P.18-21.


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