Pregnancy 8 months after birth. Eighth month after birth. Mother and child. Restoration of the menstrual cycle after childbirth. Concluding remarks

Everyone knows that pregnancy is accompanied by significant changes in a woman’s body. There is not a single system that has not undergone transformation during this period. After a previous birth, the female body ideally needs at least 2 years to recover (this interval is called “intergenetic”). If this period is a shorter period of time, it is doubly difficult for the body of a pregnant woman. What are the characteristics of the female body in this situation? And what if the second pregnancy occurs after childbirth?

When is the next pregnancy likely to occur?

In most cases, pregnancy within a short period of time after childbirth is unplanned. Many women do not pay enough attention to postpartum contraception - especially while breastfeeding. The method of so-called “lactation amenorrhea” (absence of menstruation during breastfeeding) only works in the absence of complementary feeding and replacement of some feedings. If you feed your baby, but do not put him to the breast every feeding, the method loses its effectiveness. In the absence of breastfeeding, the ability to conceive can be restored within 6-8 weeks after birth. The resumption of menstruation indicates the need for contraception. Sometimes pregnancy occurs even in the absence of menstruation (the first one, or the release of a mature egg from the ovary, leads to pregnancy, and menstruation “does not come”). Against this background, a woman may not know about her pregnancy for a long time, especially if there are no signs of early toxicosis or mild symptoms (nausea, vomiting, low blood pressure, unknown malaise, heightened sense of smell). If pregnancy does occur, the woman faces the question of maintaining it. Not only the social and living conditions and the desire of the woman are taken into account, but also medical recommendations (the presence of contraindications to further continuation of the present pregnancy).

What changes in the body?

First of all, changes occur in the reproductive and endocrine systems. The concentrations of sex hormones increase. In the ovary, pregnancy is supported by the corpus luteum - an endocrine gland that provides the synthesis of the hormone progesterone, necessary for the development of pregnancy. The growth of the uterus begins, blood supply to the external genital organs increases, and the activity of the thyroid gland and adrenal glands changes.

In the cardiovascular system, the volume of circulating blood (plasma, formed elements) and heart rate increase. Changes in the nervous system - both autonomic and central - lead to mood swings and increased tone of the parasympathetic autonomic nervous system (the part of the nervous system that is responsible for the functioning of internal organs). This leads to drowsiness, nausea, and some lethargy. The additional load on the organs of the urinary system increases: dilation of the renal pelvis often leads to an exacerbation of the existing “dormant” bacterial infection of the kidneys. Increased load on the vessels of the legs and dilation of veins during pregnancy contribute to the appearance of varicose veins.

If pregnancy occurs during lactation...

In this case, the nursing mother experiences the difficulties of a real pregnancy, and her health has not yet returned to full normal after the previous one. Childbirth and lactation are a lot of stress for the body. Vitamin deficiency and blood loss in previous births have an effect. It's hard to carry a baby and breastfeed at the same time. During lactation, there is a large consumption of vitamins and microelements to ensure the quality of breast milk and meet the needs of the baby. It is during lactation that many women complain of hair loss and tooth decay. A new pregnancy is an even greater additional burden.

Often, when a new pregnancy occurs while breastfeeding, the amount of milk decreases or the milk “disappears.” The reason for this is hormonal changes. Or, for the same reasons, milk changes its taste so much that the child often refuses to breastfeed. Any change in a woman’s condition is reflected in the taste of milk. If the milk is retained and the baby does not refuse the breast (which happens much less frequently), many experts still recommend refraining from continuing breastfeeding during a new pregnancy. Firstly, the body experiences a very heavy load. And secondly, when exposed to the nipple, hormone production is stimulated, which, in turn, causes the uterus to contract. This mechanism contributes to a woman’s faster recovery after childbirth, but is harmful for the development of a new pregnancy. Now the uterus, on the contrary, needs peace.

Of course, thanks to modern multivitamin preparations and good nutrition, a healthy woman should not experience any significant problems even in such a situation. However, the following are cases that require increased attention.

Possible complications of a second pregnancy:

Progression or onset of varicose veins of the legs. Even if you didn’t use compression stockings during your first pregnancy, you didn’t have any complaints, you didn’t have spider veins on your legs, this can happen now.
Ruptures and deformations of the cervix after childbirth could lead to decreased “obturator” function of the cervix and its canal, which can cause a threat of miscarriage due to penetration into the dilated cervical canal.
The presence of a scar on the uterus after a cesarean section requires increased attention to this problem. If the tissue has not recovered sufficiently in the area where the incision was made, it is possible uterine scar dehiscence at the end of pregnancy. Especially in this regard, a previous corporal cesarean section is unfavorable (the incision in this case is made longitudinally along the midline of the uterus). Such women often experience low placental attachment, threat of miscarriage (insufficient supply of oxygen and nutrients to the fetus as a result of decreased uteroplacental and fetal-placental blood flow), which develops against the background of other complications - anemia, threat of miscarriage, etc. d. If a caesarean section is performed less than one year before the second pregnancy, carrying the pregnancy to term is problematic. The intergenetic interval recommended by most experts in this case is at least 2 years.
Existing somatic diseases (heart defects, blood diseases, serious lung diseases) against the background of a quickly occurring second pregnancy may enter the stage of decompensation(worsening of the disease). In this case, consultation is required not only with an obstetrician-gynecologist, but also with a specialist in the underlying disease.
Severe anemia - a decrease in the amount of hemoglobin (below 70 g / liter), as well as conditions after massive bleeding in previous births require a longer recovery of the body as a whole. A new pregnancy on such “unprepared” soil may have a severe course, possibly progression of anemia, the occurrence of other pregnancy complications.
Inflammatory diseases (endometritis and further spread of inflammation to surrounding tissues - metroendometritis, parametritis) in the postpartum period are also risk factors. Endometritis (inflammation of the uterus) in the postpartum period, especially after a cesarean section, can lead to the threat of termination of a real pregnancy, and also form defective scar on the uterus in case of a previous caesarean section.

Possible complications of the second birth:

Weakness of labor in the second stage of labor(during pushing) may be associated with a weakening of the tone of the anterior abdominal wall.
Bleeding in the postpartum period(this complication occurs more often in multiparous women than in primiparous women). A decrease in uterine contractility is also facilitated by the presence of a scar on the uterus, a planned repeat cesarean section, and inflammatory diseases of the uterus after a previous birth.

Everything that has been said about the possible complications of a second pregnancy that occurs immediately after the first birth is intended to make a woman think about her health and pay as much attention to herself as possible. But all these difficulties are not a reason to terminate the pregnancy, since abortion is fraught with much more serious complications for the female body.

During this period, some women literally dream of “breaking free” and at the same time, they reject their own desires under the guise of “I have a child.” To understand why this happens, you need to plunge a little into psychology.

For an ordinary person to have a harmonious and happy life, it is imperative to draw resources from several areas of life in which he is involved to one degree or another. Let's list them very simply:

health sector (well-being, body, sexuality, etc.),
area of business (favorite work, hobbies and hobbies),
sphere of contacts (communication, friendship, family ties),
and the sphere of meaning (meaning of life, work, religious feelings, meditative, etc.).

As long as a person acts more or less balanced in all areas, he also has a more or less balanced feeling from life. And a woman with a small child can simply “turn off” some areas (without wanting to).

Example. Chat with friends? No, where am I going to go, I’m with a child... I’ve always enjoyed roller skating, shall we go? No, where am I going with the child? Interesting work project? The answer is clear.

In fact, there would be a desire. If you really want to combine things that are important to you, then you will definitely succeed. There will be ways and means to accomplish this. Yes, no one says it will be easy. But there is no threat of feeling depressed when “doing” what you want and what is important. There are no people who do something that is (truly) important to them and are depressed.

It turns out to be a vicious circle: the woman seems to want changes, but does not dare to make them, for fear of harming the union with the baby, and looking at the child, she regrets what she did not do, and is angry with herself and with the baby.

Sometimes behind this problem is a woman’s fear of being “out of work.” The child confirms her need and importance, and if she leaves him for a while, then her own importance will disappear. This can lead to excessive fatigue, constant busyness, “I don’t have time to do anything,” etc. Of course, this really happens with a small child, but we are only talking about those situations when a woman resorts to outright manipulation, and this, believe me, happens quite often. This is also dangerous because in the future, such a mother, who has not found herself outside the home, tries with all her efforts to realize herself at the expense of the child, and this is a real tragedy for the little person.

It is because of such parental complexes that the mother’s desire to “raise a famous pianist” appears, despite the fact that the child is indifferent to music; make him a dancer when the baby has no natural abilities; or teach a real scientist, while the child gravitates towards the humanities.

Therefore, if you really want something very badly, do not forbid yourself to think about it, dream, and be sure to make your desires come true. Talk about this with your partner, look for options, but don’t lock yourself in with thoughts that now you are “forever” deprived of all pleasures. Many women who have experienced all the nuances of motherhood, especially the first, will tell you that a child is not a hindrance at all. You can do literally everything with your baby, and go to visit, and read books, and, and meet with friends and even.

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What to think about 8 months after giving birth

As the child gets older, he learns more and more actively about the world around him. If before this age you have learned to correctly perceive all the stages of growing up a little naughty boy, then before you is no longer just a helpless baby, but an inquisitive mind, a whole soul in a harmonious body.

At this stage, it is sometimes very difficult for a mother to restrain her maternal desire to protect and protect from everything. Therefore, instead of worrying about safety in the home, many parents implement a system of endless prohibitions and overprotect the baby. They use endless clothes, playpens, fences, wrapping in layers of warm clothes, fear of drafts, an abundance of fluffy carpets on the floor, absolute sterility in the house, etc. In fact, to a greater extent, it is this, and not dirt, dust or cold, that harms the child , hinder his development and knowledge of the world.

To switch from the state of “I am everything for my child,” what we wrote about earlier is very helpful, namely, to gradually begin to return to your previous interests and activities (work, hobbies, hobbies).

In addition, it is important for you to focus on the fact that an eight-month-old baby is already quite independent. You have to believe it. Despite the fact that he is still very dependent on you, is often afraid of other people and hides in your arms, he needs to be given more freedom and gradually let go of himself to meet new achievements.

The most important thing in maternal care is not just spending time together in the form of constantly being near or in the field of view of the baby, but the role of the mother - a teacher, a transmitter of information, a guide to adulthood. The mother introduces the baby to the outside world, the mother explains how it works, who is where, who says what, does what and why. The mother gives food, the warmth of her hands, affection, care, protection and love, but the mother does not suppress or “crush” the child under herself. It is very important.

The child is, of course, your “piece”, your blood and your continuation, but he is not your property. Therefore, everything related to his upbringing should come down to the fact that you give the baby basic support in the form of your unconditional love and support. Then a cheerful optimist will grow and develop in your family, confident that even in the most difficult situations you can find a way out.

The task of good parents comes down to serving, feeling his potential, and most importantly, not interfering with the natural dynamics and not breaking the growing personality.

Here you need to take into account such an important thing as the atmosphere in the family. It happens that partners, often women, wanting to get the man to fully participate in raising a child, resort to manipulation. And the victim of this manipulation, first of all, is an absolutely bright, innocent baby.

When a couple lives in harmony and agreement, their relationship with the child is built on trust, attention and care, but in no way develops into painful attachment or a sense of ownership. “This is my child” - and I will decide where he will be on the weekend. “I’m a mother and I have the right to do this.” Such or similar phrases can often be heard in families in which partners, instead of helping each other, compete with each other. Without noticing it themselves, they demonstrate their own emotional deficit, lack of love, and transfer it to the child. Distribute correctly.

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What can please a mother at 8 months of her baby’s life?

You gradually move from to mixed, healthy foods. This means that, on the one hand, you have more worries associated with cooking, and on the other hand, more freedom to go about your business without being distracted by your chest. It is very important that the feeding process brings pleasure to all family members, including the baby. Sit him at the table so that he sees you completely, communicates with you, sees all actions and movements. The efficiency and deliberate “maturity” of a child can lift your spirits during every meal. The main thing is to learn not to pay attention to the fact that most of the prepared food will end up on the table. Treat this not as a mess, but as a natural process of growing up for a little fidget.

During this period, you can begin to feel the full impact of the child. He doesn’t just follow your steps, he answers your requests, shows affection, gives sincere, sometimes shy glances, and charming smiles.

Perhaps you have noticed that it is the mother’s face that arouses increased interest in the child. The child peers into mother’s eyes during feeding, playing, walking, trying to unravel her thoughts and mood. Looking exactly at you, the baby breaks into a contented smile, “buries itself” in your clothes, rests on your chest, expecting the same endless, all-encompassing love. This is an important moment in the child’s psychological maturation, his socialization, and his sense of his feelings and emotions.

Enjoy the moments when you belong to each other, get really involved in games and shared activities. Don’t waste your energy and nerves waiting for your child to grow up and become more independent, that time will definitely come, but it’s these fragile moments of his strong connection with you that you will definitely miss.

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Something about dad

At a time when a woman is completely immersed in her motherhood in both thoughts and deeds, and often “drowns” in everyday problems, the help of a young dad is difficult to overestimate. This is important for several reasons.

Firstly, the father gives the baby completely different sensations and demonstrates a different model of behavior. His hands are stronger, his movements are more confident, he speaks in a different voice, sometimes in a funny tone, and suggests unusual games and activities.
Secondly, dad helps the child learn the joy of cooperation; he, more often than mom, allows the child to participate in adult affairs, teaches him mutual assistance.
Thirdly, it is a responsible, mature man who comes to the defense of the privacy of mother and child. He “covers the rear” when a woman feeds or puts the baby to bed. He opens doors for guests, answers calls, turns off bright lights, closes curtains, etc.
Fourthly, dad promotes the child’s natural desire for independence and protects him from excessive attachment to his mother.
Fifthly, it is dad who sees his wife every day and notices all the changes in her condition. If he observes the symptoms noted in the previous article about, then this may mean that the wife literally “does not have enough impressions” to live normally.

Therefore, dad, as an observer of his wife’s condition, needs to take timely measures. Measures are in specific actions.

A man, as a potential protector, will need strength and support. Help your wife start doing what she wants. Most likely, you will need a “shoulder” (cry in the evening, which is so hard), time and energy (substitute with the child, take on something specific from household chores.

By the way, it often happens that a dad, having taken over some tasks that his wife had previously done, does it perfectly, and also brings new solutions to this activity. If he’s “really pressed for time” to go shopping, then dad will perfectly arrange supplies for the home via the Internet. If he gets tired of the process of washing dishes, then it is dad who will initiate the purchase of a dishwasher. Or he will offer to negotiate with someone about periodic cleaning.

There is an important note for young mothers, or rather, a huge request! Be sure to monitor your reactions to these proposals and innovations. Remember that this initiative is good, not bad. This is participation in the life of the family, and not an attempt to shed responsibilities. If you really need help, then accept it in a way that is convenient for your husband. You didn’t ask him so that “he could be in your shoes” or “let him suffer like me”? That’s it, he understood everything (that you were coping with this horror alone) and is ready to solve the problems that arose. And that's great. Therefore, even if you really, really want to say something, like: “When I was struggling with the dishes all these years, no one offered me a dishwasher, but you didn’t last long..”, please, for the sake of your own comfort and well-being, keep these comments to yourself.

The opposite picture may appear. My wife speaks ironically, even evilly, about those who are fulfilling themselves professionally. She notices the slightest “bad” consequences of this on someone else’s child or in someone else’s family as a whole. You can hear from her things like: “Well, she went to work, and the child is all in diathesis..”, or: “She’s working, and today the child fell down the slide in front of the nanny.”

Here it is very important to understand how the mechanism of the so-called “devaluation” of what is desired works. If a person (it doesn’t matter whether it’s a man or a woman) cannot get what he wants for some reason, then one of the ways to protect himself from the “gnawing feeling” is to completely devalue what he wants.

The wife could quickly, without asking her husband, without weighing all the possibilities, think about what she would like to do and work. But she immediately answered herself that this is impossible now. I could somehow hint about this to my husband (but so that he would not understand what exactly I was talking about), just to see his attitude to this issue. And if the husband, for example, was categorical in his opinion: like: “good mothers don’t run away from their children to work,” then that’s it - the process of “impossibility of what we want” has been launched.

Now the woman has a choice: either continue to achieve her goal and take concrete steps towards this, talk, negotiate, find options. Or you can decide for yourself that this is bad, and everyone who does this is bad. And I assure you, you are guaranteed to find confirmation of your thoughts in other people’s children and families. A person always sees what he really wants to see.

Devaluing what you want is a very unhelpful process for any person. At the same time, a person simply closes himself off from everything related to what he wants, both good and bad.

As usual, this has been written more than once - the best remedy for such situations is open partnerships in a couple, conversations and agreements. If it is customary for a couple to talk about their feelings, then the mother will not have to give up her desires and devalue them. As soon as she feels “longing for work,” she will tell her husband about it, and the two of them will find a solution that suits everyone.

If you, as a husband, see your wife at the stage when all working women with children are a priori “bad mothers,” then you need, again through conversations, to bring the woman out of this state. You can directly offer to complete some kind of work project, and explain that you will support her in this, and tell her exactly how. Men are usually very good at figuring out how to do something. You need to give your wife time and space to do it. Provide help and support with the child (so she doesn't worry and can focus on work). Organize the support and approval of a “circle of acquaintances and relatives.” So that they either support your decision, or keep their statements about the “bad mother” to themselves.

Talk to your wife about how, although she is a wonderful mother, she is still not God and does not rule the world. And anything can happen in her presence, and in the presence of a nanny or grandmother. Children fall, children get sick - this is a normal process of growth. Otherwise, you would have to “cover the child with cotton wool” and keep him in a sterile room.

The article was written jointly with practicing psychologist Valeria Onisko.

Answers siblings' questions Khodyreva Zhanna, obstetrician-gynecologist of the highest category.

Protection during breastfeeding

Question. (JenaJeny) I gave birth a little over 6 months ago, menstruation has not yet resumed, the child was exclusively breastfed until exactly 6 months. Should I be worried, or is everything still within normal limits? When to start sounding the alarm?
Answer. Up to 6 months, when breastfeeding 6-8 times a day, there is no need to protect yourself from pregnancy (the so-called lactational amenorrhea method). In the subsequent period, contraception is necessary; this can be a progestin contraceptive drug (for example, Exluton) or an intrauterine device.

Question. (Beth ) I have a 7-month-old daughter, completely on breastfeeding, the number of applications is more than 10 per day, no period yet. What is the probability of getting pregnant at this time? What contraceptives can be used besides barrier methods? And should we use them?
Answer . The lactational amenorrhea method, as a reliable contraception, is applicable up to 6 months after childbirth, then you need to protect yourself with gestagen-containing contraceptives (eg, Exluton) or an IUD.

Question. (poya) I breastfed my firstborn for exactly a year. Until eight months they were only on breastfeeding. I didn’t use any protection (I didn’t have my period). Result: pregnancy. I had to have a mini-abortion and get an IUD. The child was exactly six months old. The question arises: is it really worth trusting the body during breastfeeding or is it better to play it safe?
Answer. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. The six-month period of lactational amenorrhea is recognized as safe by gynecologists around the world, and you became pregnant just after 6 months.

"Spotting" during menstruation

Question. (Rita) After giving birth, my cycle noticeably shortened, instead of 28 days, now it’s 25, and it starts in two stages, on the 25th day there’s a spot, then 2 days of nothing at all, and then normal periods begin... What could be the reason?
Answer . There can be many reasons for such a “daub” (endometriosis, inflammation, polyp, etc.). Without an examination, it is impossible to talk about any specific reason. The sooner you dare to go to the gynecologist, the better.

Question. (Cobweb) I have a question. I had an appointment with a gynecologist, I have an IUD. I didn’t go for a year, it so happened that after 2 days something was not comfortable, on the doctor’s advice I put in suppositories with ichthyol. The next day, my lower abdomen ached and there was spotting, but not ichthyol! After 2 days, the daubing stopped. We were breastfeeding and didn’t have periods after giving birth. Before pregnancy, my periods were 5-7 days, very heavy. What could it be?
Answer . Unfortunately, you do not indicate how much time has passed since the birth. Perhaps it was a menstrual-like reaction. Believe me, without an examination it is very difficult for me to answer such questions.

Question. (Travelmate) I gave birth three weeks ago. The lochia is not over yet, the last week of pink discharge, about 2 tablespoons per day. Yesterday, when I abruptly got up from the sofa, slight bleeding appeared (about a spoonful of blood), a blood clot came out, and my stomach hurt, like during menstruation. Today the lochia is pink again, my stomach does not hurt. What could it be? Do you need to see a doctor urgently? I planned to go only in a week.
Answer . The bleeding could come from the cervix or from the vagina if there were ruptures during childbirth, after lifting weight or straining during the act of defecation. In case of recurrent bleeding, you must see a doctor urgently, but if everything goes well, visit the gynecologist in a week as planned.

Absence of menstruation after childbirth and during breastfeeding

Question. (oksanaS) I gave birth a year and two months ago, but no periods. Maybe it's because I'm still breastfeeding?
Question. (Susan) The child is already one year and 4 months old. Actively sucks the breast. Is it normal that you still haven’t had your period or is it still time to go to the doctor?
Answer . Of course, during breastfeeding, periods may be absent for up to 1.5-2 years, don’t let this scare you. In addition, if you breastfeed at least 6-8 times a day until six months after giving birth, you may not be protected from pregnancy in any way (the so-called lactational amenorrhea method).

Question. (Inna Klueva) I gave birth on November 1st. I only breastfeed my daughter and don’t feed her anything else. My period started on February 2nd. When I was breastfeeding my eldest daughter until she was 1.5 years old, she didn’t have her period all the time. This is fine? Normal menstruation in duration and abundance.
Answer . As a rule, if the frequency of breastfeeding is at least 6-8 times a day, there are no periods, although there are exceptions. You still need to see a gynecologist to rule out organic bleeding.

Question. (Melle) I completely stopped breastfeeding my baby at 6 months, that is, 5 months ago, and I still don’t have my period. What would that mean?
Answer . You just need to see a gynecologist, because... There are quite a lot of reasons for amenorrhea in the postpartum period, and some of them are far from harmless.

Question. (Margot) The baby is 1 year 6 months old, I still mostly breastfeed only, sucks constantly, all day, at night (we sleep together), and I still don't have my period. Please tell me, is this normal or should I go see a gynecologist?
Question. (Sofina) My daughter is almost 1.4 years old, breastfeeding, breastfeeding frequently day and night. The first periods after giving birth appeared at the end of February 2008, and after that - nothing. The pregnancy test is negative. Is this normal? Hooray!! The second ones came... only it’s true again towards the end... of April
Question. (Matema) The baby is 1 year and a month old, I am breastfeeding and have no periods... We went with our first child when my son was about 6 months old.
Answer . Absence of menstruation during breastfeeding 6-8 times a day is normal.

Question. (ENECHKA) The child is 1 year and 2 months old. I was weaned at one year old, but I still don’t have my period. During breastfeeding I drank Charozette, now I drink Lindinet. A month and a half after weaning, my lower abdomen hurt, but my periods never appeared. The pregnancy test showed a negative result. What could be causing this delay?
Answer . If you are reliably protected from pregnancy, then you don’t have to worry. The absence of menstruation during lactation is the norm, just so as not to miss the pregnancy.

Heavy menstruation after childbirth

Question. (Symphonia) After giving birth, critical days began 6 months later. Immediately they came out very plentiful. The third cycle is now underway. Even more abundantly than before. Tell me what this might be connected with and how it can be adjusted. Is it possible to drink nettle and water pepper during breastfeeding?

Question. (Alida) My period came after 4 months. Very profuse, painful, long lasting (more than a week) and comes immediately profuse without spotting. Although the days before B were rather meager and short (3 days). Once it happened like this: in the morning there were no signs (no pain, no spotting), and in the evening I lay down, immediately got up and a lot fell off me, I could barely hold it with my hand. After that, the truth was that almost everything faded away and the rest of the days just blurred.
Answer . If your periods are heavy, with clots, I would definitely recommend undergoing an examination by a gynecologist and an ultrasound. Taking these herbal preparations is not a contraindication when breastfeeding.

Restoration of the menstrual cycle after childbirth. Concluding remarks

The recovery period of the menstrual cycle occurs individually for each woman. Don't panic if your period doesn't start immediately after giving birth. Young mothers are also misled by spotting after childbirth, which has nothing to do with menstruation - lochia. Lochia- this is a physiological postpartum discharge from the uterus, consisting of blood, mucus and rejected, non-viable tissue. Normally, the duration of lochia discharge is 3-6 weeks after birth (sometimes up to 8 weeks).
Young mothers should remember that breastfeeding can be one of the methods of contraception only in a few cases:

if your baby is exclusively breastfed
if your child is under six months old
if there was no menstruation after childbirth
if breastfeeding occurs at least 6-8 times a day (lactation amenorrhea method).

Second births a year after the birth of a child are quite common, but, unfortunately, not always planned. Some women, upon learning that they are pregnant again, decide to have an abortion. Others, on the contrary, decide to keep the child and then raise two children at once. Let’s try to figure out how a second pregnancy affects a woman’s body, and consider the pros and cons of raising children of the same age.

Family traditions in many countries say that you can have a second child when the previous one learns to eat and move independently, and therefore no longer needs the constant presence of the mother. Doctors share approximately the same point of view, recommending planning a second birth no earlier than two years after the first. Moreover, they explain this not only by the level of development and needs of the child, but also by the physiological state of the female body.

Many systems, for example, cardiovascular, genitourinary, musculoskeletal, are in the process of recovery. And, despite your good health and psychological mood for a second pregnancy, it is better to postpone it for at least 2-3 years. Some women, upon learning about an unplanned pregnancy, immediately decide to have an abortion, without thinking that it is also harmful to health. The decision in this case should not be hasty, it should be carefully considered.

What happens to the female body during this period?

There is an opinion that a woman who breastfeeds a newborn baby cannot become pregnant. The so-called lactational amenorrhea method is even one of the methods of birth control, although its reliability is not high enough and quite often it leads to forced abortion.

Since the hormone prolactin, which is intensively produced during breastfeeding, suppresses the ovulation process, the likelihood of re-pregnancy in nursing women is sharply reduced. In this case, the woman must put the baby to the breast at his first request, and not introduce additional complementary foods into the baby’s diet, otherwise the reliability of the method drops sharply. As the body recovers after childbirth and the hormonal levels gradually normalize, the pituitary gland gradually increases the production of estrogen, which means that the functioning of the ovaries is restored and the egg can already be fertilized.

According to medical statistics, this usually occurs approximately 8–10 weeks after birth, although it greatly depends on the individual characteristics of the female body. The most dangerous thing in this case is that ovulation precedes the first menstruation after childbirth by about 2-3 weeks, and it is quite difficult to determine the moment of its onset. Therefore, very often a woman, counting on lactational amenorrhea, does not protect herself properly, fertilization of the egg occurs, and menstruation still does not occur, but because of pregnancy. In this case, the woman learns about her situation when the fetus begins to move, and it is no longer possible to have an abortion at this stage.

Every family with a child faces the potty problem, and this issue cannot always be resolved quickly and painlessly for everyone. The topic is delicate and very important. Nervous and capricious children, upset mothers and a bunch of wet onesies - who doesn’t know this? So, when should you potty train your child and how can you do it without causing unnecessary hassle for everyone?

How many people were upset about diapers when they started appearing here! Moreover, there are many opponents of this very, as they say, progressive invention of the 20th century, among pediatricians. For example, some children's doctors have argued and continue to argue that diapers are very harmful, and they give a whole list of arguments. One of these arguments is the difficulty of potty training “diaper” children.

Today we dedicate our article to an important topic.

Many parents, especially young and inexperienced ones, have difficulties with this delicate matter. Tell me, have you seen three or even four year old children on the street in diapers? Surely yes. Such a scene, for example, is common in Europe. Europeans joke that their children wear diapers all the way to school, and there is some truth in this joke.

European pediatricians, and after them ours, unanimously say: this is normal, he will grow up and understand why he should fool himself and torment the baby. What about moms and dads? They struggle to believe what is said.

Is there a reason why a child who is already quite old can figure out for himself what his body wants?
Do children know how to independently recognize their own needs?

We will tell you about the mechanisms of natural hygiene for babies.

Many newborns give some characteristic signals, from which an attentive mother concludes that the “process” will now begin. The child begins to actively or slightly fidget, pull his legs towards his stomach, puff, spin, and push. Or maybe, on the contrary, freeze and put on a funny, concentrated look. Mothers say that by carefully observing the baby, they read such signals, sometimes noticeable and sometimes subtle, and manage to carefully pick up the child in their arms and place them over, for example, a sink or basin. Such “toilet” support quickly turns into a conditioned reflex and is a very convenient form of communication for both mother and child.

Attention! Until the child has learned to sit on his own, he cannot be seated! The baby is only allowed to be supported in a position that is safe for him - the fetal position. Only when the baby has learned to sit down on his own, without support, and sits confidently, can you begin to sit him on the baby potty.

As the baby grows, various warning signals become more complex and change. If parents are attentive to non-verbal signs, then potty training will be much easier. And not only that!

There are a huge number of advantages for parents in such meaningful monitoring of the baby. An attentive attitude will develop kindness, sensitivity, empathy, responsiveness to each other, both mother and father, and their children. The relationships between parents and children in such families become closer and more trusting.

Many parents simply do not think about the signals that their children give them, and such “requests,” including toilet needs, often go unheeded.

There are families in which, due to various circumstances, the technique of natural hygiene for babies is not cultivated; mothers simply have neither the desire nor the patience. What happens in this case? Diaper! This is the best way out. We bought a carload of disposable urine-absorbing diapers on sale, and we can live in peace.

Diapers and toilet signals

What happens if diapers are used constantly? And are some pediatricians right?

Indeed, if diapers are used constantly, then there is no need for the child to give these very “toilet” signals. There is simply no need for them. Why? Because the child’s nervous system has undergone adaptation and adapted to the current circumstances.

Why do parents have difficulty? Potty training

Several years pass, and the family finally makes a decision - it’s a shame to wear diapers, and this issue should be taken seriously. What should you do first? The right thing to do is to start training from scratch, that is, to re-teach not just a baby, but a grown-up child, to consciously perceive the needs of his body and give long-forgotten signals.

All children are very different. For one baby, adjustment occurs very quickly, literally in a few weeks or even less. And another child, who has reached 4-5 years of age, is in no way able to do without the usual diaper. Moreover, what especially bothers parents is that this mostly concerns “bigger” matters.

Having experience and observing real cases from the lives of their little patients and their parents, pediatricians recommend:

You don’t need to use diapers all the time, 24 hours a day. Of course, you should wear diapers at night, just like when you go for a walk or visit.
Nowadays, almost everyone has modern washing machines in their homes, so it makes sense to think about reusable diapers.

Reusable diapers have a thoughtful design, are beautiful, very comfortable to wear and wash well. They practically do not give allergic reactions, unlike some one-time ones.

Treat potty training like a fun game. Don't be lazy and use your imagination. Then both you and your baby will have fun, and things will go much faster.
Under no circumstances should you act harshly, show aggression or dissatisfaction towards the baby. There is no question of any punishment, not even a verbal reprimand, if a child pees in his pants!

A child psychologist explains

Children, as you already understand, cannot switch quickly. The parents’ actions should be consistent and then it will be easier for the baby to understand how his muscles and sphincters work.

The mother should do exactly the same as when the baby was just born, but now it will be more difficult, because the “toilet” signals are not obvious or practically absent. And they are difficult to interpret. This can be explained, since the child now already has a large number of needs and it is difficult to figure out what he wants - whether he wants to eat, or sleep, or needs a toy, or something hurts, or wants to poop and pee.

Mothers often show impatience; they want the baby to learn quickly and not create problems. What does such a mother begin to do? Angry, nervous.

What does this lead to?

To the opposite result, because the child refuses to cooperate outright. He begins to actively avoid the potty. They buy all sorts of newfangled inventions, musical, colorful and God knows what - and to no avail.

What to do?

Stop worrying about it. Prepare as many replacement pants as you may need. In the end, you can generally let people run around without pants, with a bare butt. And at the same time, watch the baby, because the signals will appear. You will definitely see them!

Unfortunately, we clearly understood two concepts:

1. That the baby must tell us that he wants to pee or poop.
2. And then do everything on the potty.

But this is a mistake, since these are completely different questions that for the child do not yet have a connection with each other.

The first thing that attentive and smart parents should do is to react to the signals themselves. If this is done correctly, the baby will quickly realize that he needs to inform his parents about his intention.

You can gently and kindly say this:

“I see that you want to go potty, right? Do you want to poop or pee?”

The baby will make sure that you understand him, and very quickly he will learn to trust you. And then he will increasingly show his intentions BEFORE, and not AFTER, he peed or pooped.

By the way, this form of relationship is useful in any matter, and not just in “toilet” matters.

Does it matter where you pee?

Of course, it is more convenient for you if it is a pot.

But not all children love this very potty! And they begin to forcefully sit the child on him through screams of protest. And they force you to sit there until the job is done. Are you familiar with this picture?

The result: children stop begging altogether! You “overpowered,” as they say. The pot has won in your relationship and trust is gone.

What to do in this case?

The child is hysterical at the sight of the potty. What to do?

Just leave it alone. And the baby and the unfortunate potty.

They noticed that he wanted to poop, took off his pants and let him walk. Offer an option, such as going to the bathroom. You can put a basin there, for example. Or even allocate some place, on the floor in the toilet. If you wrote it anywhere, it doesn’t matter, because you’ve already figured out its signal.

There is no need to imagine that the child will always go to pee and poop anywhere. Have you ever seen a mentally healthy adult do this?

Time will pass and the older baby will appreciate the benefits of both the potty and the toilet. You can even immediately purchase a comfortable, modern, special toilet seat. For example, this is the simplest design.

There are even toilet attachments with child footrests and steps of a wide variety of more complex designs.

All the experts say in unison:

It is unacceptable to scold a baby if he peed himself.

You just need to calmly say if this happens:

“We need to wipe our butts, wash ourselves, put on clean pants.”

Mom expresses dissatisfaction.

These are very vivid emotions! What are they doing? Reinforces negative outcomes and unwanted behavior. Therefore, you only need to react calmly and kindly.

Moreover, if everything turned out well, arrange a celebration with dancing and games. Praise, rejoice loudly and cheerfully, and show in every possible way how happy you are.

There should be a potty in the house, even if the baby doesn’t like it.

But! We are against pots with modern “bells and whistles”, for example, this one

The potty should be simple and convenient. Like this.

There is no need to buy any musical products, because the purpose of the pot is not to play arias. The task before you is to teach your baby to go to the toilet and nothing should interfere with her.

You will say: this is how child psychology experts advise involving elements of play in any learning process.

So, this is not entirely true, since something completely different is meant. The same psychologists explain that modern devices for peeing and pooping with toys and music contribute to a shift in children's accent. It turns out that the central figure of the whole process is His Majesty the pot. But the main thing here is trust and the desire to convey your intentions to mom and dad.

There is even a pot on the market from which it is impossible to get out without outside help. This instrument of torture is called a pot-table.

How can you call such an invention?

Violence and nothing else. What kind of trust can we talk about after this?

Children must understand that they have freedom of choice and can get up and go wherever they want at any time.

When choosing a children's potty, first of all, pay attention to the material. It should be a quality product, not cheap plastic. Poor quality materials cause allergies on the child's skin. Plastic is much better and it’s more comfortable to sit on such a pot, but metal is cold and hard.

The next criterion is sustainability. Now there are comfortable potty chairs that are easy to sit on and stand up too. And let such a pot have a minimum of newfangled “bells and whistles”.

Time will pass, and the child himself will begin to be interested in the potty, because children are inquisitive creatures.

A question that interests many parents:

Is it possible to show your baby by personal example how to pee and poop?

For example, a dad can show his little son how to pee on a man correctly. There's no shame in this. Yes, and a mother, if her son is less than three years old, can sit on the toilet, of course, without demonstrating the details of the process itself. But the personal example of a beloved father or grandfather is of course preferable.

Mom can explain everything to the girl in the toilet.

There is no need to be shy about showing how adults pee and poop.

It’s wise to quietly say to your baby:

« Oh, I want to go to the toilet, and you? Let’s run, maybe you can come with me?”

Or something like that. It is clear that there is no need to shout, for example, to the whole yard about this. Think for yourself, kids want to grow up as quickly as possible, and thus they imitate adults and follow the example of mom and dad.

Is this an intimate question?
From the above, we can conclude that this question is not intimate at all, if you can talk about it openly. And even show your baby how to pee and poop.

Let's figure it out.

This is your “toilet” business with your baby. You can do this, but it is in no way acceptable to involve strangers and people not close to the family in these matters.

Do not discuss the issue of potties, even if the baby is only eight months or a year old, in front of his housemates or anyone else. We are surrounded not only by friendly people, but also by many “smart” and knowledgeable advisors.

You must understand that you, not strangers, know what is best for your little son or daughter. After listening to enough advice, you can get scared and start unnecessary experiments, guided by the experience of others.

Conclusion. An example from life. We have already said that all children are very different. Therefore, it is not always worthwhile to blindly adhere to the recommendations of specialists, even very qualified and experienced ones. Motherhood is a profession that requires a thoughtful attitude.

A young mother tells

When I was pregnant, I read a lot of different literature and dreamed of how I would do everything right. The same goes for the pots - I decided that I just needed to plant them. But it turned out that not everything is so simple! My son did not want to adapt to “literature” at all. I didn’t see any signals, he was just blowing to himself and that’s it! I was falling from fatigue, didn’t get enough sleep, and kept trying to catch the “toilet” signals that I had read about. Moreover, I began to blame myself for the fact that I am a worthless mother and I do not have a spiritual connection with my baby. Then I came to my senses and remembered, again, the articles I had read about postpartum depression. I thought - it’s so close to her!

Having washed, albeit with the help of a washing machine, a huge mountain of diapers, onesies, and even blankets and pillows, I gave up. I stopped constantly putting my son in the fetal position. I bought diapers and started wearing them all the time.

And when my son turned two years old, I decided that enough was enough. I started planting it in a pot. And he understood everything in less than a week!

It is no coincidence that we ended our story with this very incident from life. Because the most important thing in education is love and wisdom.

Dear visitors of the Farmamir website. This article does not constitute medical advice and should not serve as a substitute for consultation with a physician.